A unique experience that writer Marian Elwes has gone through, who recounts here her experience in dealing with the autism spectrum, and how she succeeded in diagnosing her condition after she was 27 years old.

In her report, which was published by the American newspaper The New York Times (Nytimes), author Eloise said that she has always found life in itself extremely difficult.

In her childhood photos, her eyes were always wandering away from the lens.

She rarely mixes with others, and is often preoccupied with one of the few activities that has made her feel safe.

Even after she comes of age, the author asserts that the sights, sounds, and smells of everyday life are still difficult for her to bear.

She finds it difficult to do anything like get up, move her body and speak clearly, and quickly feel exhausted when she is in the company of others.

She also suffers from nervous breakdowns in which she intentionally self-harms.

And I thought that she would get rid of this agitation and anger with old age, but that did not happen, but rather these problems became a greater obstacle in her life with her advanced age.

Diagnostic queues

In July of this year, the author finally understood the cause of it all, as she was diagnosed at 27 years old with autism spectrum disorder and ADHD.

I struggled with that diagnosis for 5 years, and it was a cruel and sometimes humiliating process filled with waiting lists, administrative errors, insane doctors and humiliating questionnaires.

But through her she found the traits she loved about herself: her obsessive interests, strong memory, and sensitive sense.

Research shows that women are diagnosed with autism later than men are diagnosed with it, and that autism is diagnosed less (Getty Images)

Autism is delayed in women compared to men

The author pointed out that the delay in her diagnosis may seem strange, but it is not rare, especially for women, for a long time the common assumption indicated that women do not have autism.

Research now shows that women are diagnosed with autism later compared to men, and their diagnosis is also reduced.

This does not mean that the number of infected patients is less, but rather that they are ignored.

In part, this is because diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder are biased toward symptoms seen in male children.

But the main reason is that females learn to imitate others, through disguise and camouflage they reproduce the behaviors of those around them, and they often lose their personalities as a result.

And those attempts, which rarely produce completely successful results and cause psychological exhaustion, lead to looking at girls with autism as normal, nervous, but somewhat strange conditions.

Social camouflage

Herein lies the problem of the autistic woman, as her differences make her feel isolated, so she works to hide it.

But when she tries to get a diagnosis, she is dismissed if she is completely successful in social camouflage.

The writer explained that she was causing chaos in the school, as she excelled in reading and writing in the school, but she soon felt bored.

She often misbehaved, and subjected to punishment.

After that, her mental health deteriorated, and she spent her teenage years between misbehaving, losing friends and harming herself.

Then she gradually learned to hide her truth and make excuses for what she could not hide.

Her teenage special interests seemed normal, teachers saw poor organizational and social skills as rebellion and laziness, and the ability to hyper-focus helped her pass school, university and graduate studies.

Adhere to work patterns

But when Elwise landed a desk job, she quickly found her mind unable to stick to schedules or regular work patterns.

Everything was making it difficult to work on, from waking up early to the cold in the office to the noise.

Sitting for 8 hours a day, pretending to be comfortable in her office, was causing her physical pain.

She wasn't interested in being different before, but for the first time she realized how easy it was for others to live their lives.

A picture of the writer during her childhood with her article, as it appeared on her Twitter page (communication sites)

Get a diagnosis

One day, Eloise called her mother and asked her if she thought she had autism, and her mother answered an affirmative that shattered doubt with certainty.

So she went to a doctor and was told that she might be autistic, but the waiting list was so long that there was no point in trying.

And in Britain, where the author lives, unless you are especially unable to afford the costs of getting a diagnosis, you have to wait until the underfunded National Health Service can make time for you.

Two years after being fired from her first job, Elwes took another office job.

She found herself exhausted again, and failed to adapt to the work structure in which everyone but herself thrived.

So, I tried to seek the diagnosis again, hoping for help.

She was told that if she was not a threat to herself, she would not receive the necessary support for her condition.

It was an ironic situation, as she was hurting herself a lot when she was young, but overcoming these motives prevented her from reaching the support she needed.

When the shutdown system was activated, the author easily got used to loneliness, but realized that returning to life after it would be more difficult.

To explain this, she pledged to pay for a special diagnosis by a psychiatrist, who and her colleague spent several hours evaluating Eloys over a 3-day period.

The result is clear.

She was so cheerful, the writer said, that she found terms that correctly describe her condition and the community to which she belongs.

The diagnosis gave her the certainty and strength to express her needs to others, but she wished she had not lost a large part of her life by hating herself.

A tough child and a tough teenager

People often focus on how difficult life is for people with autism.

This may be true for simple tasks such as getting up and eating, but the most traumatic experiences the author has had could have been avoided.

Throughout her life, she was bullied and bullied by those who lost their patience because she did not communicate with them in the ways they used to, and faced rejection to express herself differently.

The writer admitted that she was tough on herself when she was young, as strangers were with her.

But now she just wants to tell that little girl, and that troubled teen, that someone loves her, that she has autism, and that this is not a bad thing.