Sexual pleasure - what exactly is it?

The World Sexual Health Organization defines it as this: sexual pleasure is the physical and mental satisfaction and joy that comes from shared or self-executed erotic activities as well as thoughts, fantasies, and feelings.

In the words of the League of Nations, sexual pleasure “makes you feel like sex”.

It is the sum of different pleasure experiences.

- The pleasure for me is holistic, depending on the situation.

It can be all about playing with different senses.

Gentle touch and caress of another, even in everyday situations.

The idea keeps the other good, to feel how the other party gets pleasure and to be really present in the situation, said Riikka, 27, in our story.

Relaxation is important

For example, tension, a bad mood, or a previous, unpleasant experience can hinder sexual pleasure.

Hormones, mood, medications, stress, or sex-related performance pressures can also impair enjoyment.

According to the Mental Health House, sexual self-confidence opens up opportunities for enjoyment.

For example, relaxation, being in harmony with oneself and the courage to express one's own needs tell about self-confidence.

Sexual self-confidence also makes itself the best possible partner.

A partner who takes into account the other person's wishes and needs.

The pleasure deepens from the connection between the mind and the body.

So you can best influence your own sexual pleasure yourself.

Here are 6 tips:

1. Choose a peaceful environment

Tension and stress can affect desires.

A calm space helps the mind and body relax.

2. Get to know yourself

Examine your own mind and body.

What kind of touch feels good?

What kind of touch doesn’t bring pleasure?

What do you dream of?

What excites you?

In our story, Kaisa and Jenni wonder if they can be able to receive and give pleasure at all if they can't give it to themselves first.

  • Read more: “Good sex starts with masturbation being okay” say Jenni and Kaisa in their twenties

You can explore your own pleasure, for example, with the help of a sex tool.Photo: Colourbox

3. Talk to your partner

Your partner can’t read your thoughts, and you can’t his.

In order to bring each other pleasure, bring out your knowledge honestly.

For example, tell us how you want to be touched and ask what kind of touch your partner likes.

Or think with your partner about what you would like to try.

  • Read more: Sex therapist's 5 tips on how to talk to your partner about sex: “A bad moment can feel like crushing criticism”

4. Forget running

- I focus a lot on my own performance and appearance, so it is often not possible to enjoy it to the fullest.

Because of this, getting an orgasm with a partner has also been very challenging, Milla said in our story.

  • Read more: “Secretly dreaming of a man who knows what he wants and also takes it” - women talk directly about pleasure

Too much performing and trying - like focusing solely on getting an orgasm - easily takes you away from being in the moment and enjoying.

Enjoyment is the opposite of performing.

One of the most important ingredients is presence.

The fact that it focuses on the moment.

Give yourself permission to be and enjoy.

5. Try something new

Do you know erogenous areas?

They are the points where touching brings pleasure.

  • Read more: Do you already know these erogenous areas?

    Try and experience new sexual pleasures

What if you tried a new position with your partner?

The familiar position can also often be varied.

  • Read more: More than 10,000 people answered - this is by far the most popular sex position in Finland!

    This will make it even hotter

Even sex toys can produce new kinds of pleasure experiences.

  • Read more: “Vibrating experience” - Finns open up to the use of sexual means

6. Practice!

Try enjoyable exercises.

For example, by touching a feather or even a flower gently, you and your partner can learn to notice points in your body that are pleasing to the touch.

  • Read more: Try an enjoyable exercise - sexologist: “A great, teasing foreplay”

Get help if needed

If the pleasure seems to be repeatedly lost, and your sex life suffers from it, seek help.

To treat the problem, it may be enough to raise it with a sex therapist.

Dealing with physical or mental ailment, increasing knowledge, improving conversation with a partner, and correcting erroneous beliefs can also be helpful.

Sources: Sexpo, Väestöliitto,