"Good, good"

"Good, good" November 10th, 19:02

An elementary school entrance ceremony that makes everyone excited.

That was the beginning of the difficulties for my child.

On my way home from school, my child told me that I was trying to blame the person I was messing with.

I ca

n't help but hear a voice that resembles giving up.

(Network Press Department Reporter Mayi Ogura)

The interviewee was a mother in her 40s who had an elementary school child.

He talked about his days with his children.

Shota

I had a child when I was 37 years old.

The name was given with the hope that he would become an active person in the world.

Here, let's call it "Shota (pseudonym)".

When I was two years old, I became very interested in girl anime.

What I was asking to buy was my favorite girl anime toy.

After a while, I started to imitate the make-up of the transforming hero and tap my cheeks while watching TV.

I thought, "There are many girls around me, so maybe that's the effect."

Manifestation of intention

On the other hand, I have come to clearly say that I don't like dark clothes and trousers.

Sometimes I messed up my photo of myself in such clothes and threw it away.

At home, I used to wear bath towels like skirts and I was happy.

An acquaintance who heard this story gave me a skirt, and Shota continued to take good care of her.

Even though I was wearing different clothes, I was pulling the skirt out of the chest of drawers before I knew it.

This is a self-portrait I drew when I was in kindergarten.

She has long hair tied in two and wears a fluttering skirt.

The hair was drawn longer than it really is.

Around this time, I was practicing tying my hair as a doll, and I was trying my best to tie my short hair.

I have come to respect Shota's desire to like pink and cute things.

On her sixth birthday, Shota was very happy to buy the girl anime toys she wanted.

"I like the girl"

It was one night after that.

Suddenly when I was sleeping, "Shota was happy with the girl," he said.

I stared at this and shed tears.

Shota was a child who didn't say anything, even if he didn't like it.

I don't know what happened.

However, even if I was surrounded by what I liked, my heart was not satisfied, and I thought that even though I was 6 years old, I already had difficulty living.

And in the world where we will live in the future, I had a feeling that even more difficulties awaited us.

Row of boys and girls

That premonition soon became a reality.

It was an event in preparation for entering elementary school.

At the school checkup for my child, I was told to line up for boys and girls based on the gender-separated list.

Shota's name in a skirt was in the boy's roster.

I had no choice but to line up in a line of boys.

At the entrance ceremony, I wore a skirt and went to school.

Shota seemed nervous, but he tied his hair with his favorite rubber and attended the ceremony.

I told the school that I should wear a skirt and go to school, that I would like to use the women's toilet, and that I do not want to distinguish between "san" and "kun", but I am very worried about what kind of days are waiting for me. was.

"Good, good"

There is an unforgettable event.

I was worried about the way to go to school, so I went to pick up Shota who came back from school.

Immediately after parting from my friend who was leaving school with me, I heard a loud voice over the back of "Shota".

"You're really a boy!"

I hurriedly looked at the voice and looked for who said it.

Shota didn't turn around and grabbed my arm next to me with a small hand.

And he said in a squeezing voice.

"Good, good"

I didn't know what to do on the spot and couldn't find a word to call.

I went home without a conversation.

When I think about that time, I still feel like I'm torn apart.

I think Shota had a feeling of giving up because he was hurt and only had a hard time hitting him without my knowledge.

Blank

"Shota" had a hard time with his name.

In the test, I noticed that the name was blank even though the problem was solved properly.

I didn't want to write.

During school breaks, senior students called me "Shoko" and made fun of me.

When I introduced myself in class, I also learned that I couldn't say my name.

I talked with my family and decided to change my name.

"Hina (hina, pseudonym)".

It was a name that he liked and decided.

Bruise

At one point, I was called "Okama" and confessed that I was bullied.

I consulted with the school.

He said, "Children can't understand that the body is a boy and the mind is a girl."

I told Hina the teacher's words to explain that the problem of bullying was difficult to solve.

Then, I came to say something like this.

"If I die, my mom will die too?"

"I like pink, so give me a pink flower when I die."

You may have thought that you didn't understand yourself and that you couldn't do anything about the difference between your mind and body.

After a while, I was talking while sleeping on the futon together, and suddenly I got up and got into the space between the window and the curtain that was nearby.

Then he told me to "jump down" and tried to die.

Was it a few minutes or tens of minutes?

I don't have a solid memory of that time.

I clasped Hina's hand tightly and just kept it.

Hina gave up jumping, but the next day, there was a clear bruise on her wrist.

Words

I consulted with the school again.

I asked him to say something that his child could have hope for.

Then the teacher said, "Because I'm on my side."

Hina was very pleased with the word.

Words sometimes become knives, gouge the child's heart, and sometimes gently grab the heart.

I want the teachers to cherish any word.

from now on

Hina is in the upper grades.

Now, I am blessed with teachers and friends, and I am enjoying my school life.

From now on, the body will grow into an adult.

You may wear a skirt and remove your beard.

The mind and body are getting farther apart.

I can't do anything about it, but I think there is something I can do to change the way society thinks.

We continue to ask that the list be a list that is not divided into men and women so that you can freely choose uniforms regardless of gender.

happiness

The

day I cried, saying

, "

I

'm glad the girl was good,"

I thought she was unhappy.

But now it's different.

I

want to keep telling

you, "You can live your own way and be happy."

I want to do my best so that I can live and be happy with my own heart.

Just as a small child no longer grabs a parent's hand and kills his pain by saying "good, good", the parent no longer desperately grabs the hand of a child trying to jump. I want the world to change little by little.