Children sometimes lie, but when lying becomes the norm, it can turn into a big problem, especially when they think it is an effective way to get rid of problems or shirk responsibility.
Teaching your child the value of telling the truth then becomes an indisputable issue. Besides the value that your child will learn from telling the truth, it also establishes the importance of personal responsibility, confidence and attention.
But it is necessary before starting the task of deterring your child from lying, it is necessary to know why your child is lying?
What are the types and levels of lying?
There are common motives for children to lie, such as getting something they want, avoiding consequences or shirking a task they don't want to do.
A child may lie to escape from overprotection from parents (Getty Images)
Heba Al-Mohtaseb, a specialist in child education and behavior modification, explains that there are some less clear reasons why children may not tell the truth, including:
1- Test a new behavior
One reason kids lie is because they discover this new idea and try it, as they do with most types of behaviors.
2- Enhancing self-esteem
Children may resort to big lies to make themselves more admired, exaggerate their self-esteem, and embellish their image in the eyes of others.
3- To escape from overprotection
The child may resort to lying to escape the excessive protection and anxiety of parents, and this is called defensive lying.
The mother must know the motives of her child for lying (social networking sites)
Are all fairy tales a lie?
The types of lying differ according to the ages of the children, and just as the mother must know the motives of her child for lying, she must also know where there is between the stages of "not telling the truth", which Hiba al-Muhtasib divides into 3 stages:
Absolute imagination
From the age of 2 to 6 years: children of that age are distinguished by their free-spirited imagination, and the child's fantasies are not considered a lie, but we help him to tell the truth and call names by their names, such as story, fiction and truth.
Unintended lying
From the age of 6 to 9 years: in which the child lies without meaning to avoid doing something or self-defense, so the child must be treated comfortably and without anger.
Willful lying
From 10 years to more: Starting from this age, the child practices lying intentionally and with full awareness, and here strict measures must be taken with him.
Help to stop lying
The child parenting and behavior modification specialist confirms that there are a number of measures that a mother can take to help her child stop lying.
She tells Al-Jazeera Net that parents must first take into account the child's age when this behavior is issued, if he is in the age of imagination, it cannot be considered a lie, but at the same time we help him tell the truth and differentiate it from fiction.
And it lists a number of steps to prevent the child from lying, including:
1- Make truth-telling the rule
Create a clear home rule that emphasizes the importance of honesty and honest communication, and being the first to implement it, this will ensure that your children understand that you value the truth, and the truth will become a major part of your family's rules and values.
2- Explain to him the consequences of lying
Raising the value of honesty from a religious point of view first, and then by telling stories about the consequences of lying, has a great impact on instilling values in the child.
It is important to explain the difference between telling the truth versus telling a lie, and talking about the possible consequences of a person's insincere behavior, such as for people to stop believing what they say.
3- Review yourself and find motivation
The child always needs to be reminded of the right thing. Talk to him calmly and ask him directly about the reason for not saying the truth.
The reason may be a desire to attract attention, then he must be taught new social skills, and he must engage in positive activities.
He or she may lie for fear of punishment. Then review yourself about your parenting style and reduce discipline.
If your child recounts lying despite speaking repeatedly and warning him, he must be punished
4- Help tell the truth
If one of your children confesses to a mistake he made and does not hide the truth from you, praise the truthful statement, and tell him that you are proud that he chose to tell the truth.
5- Give him a warning
If you discover that your child is lying, and you can confirm it, give him a clear warning that there will be consequences for not saying the truth.
6- Punishment
If your child repeated the lie, despite your repeated speaking to him and warning him, he must be punished for lying consistent with the size of the act.