In "Sans Rendez-vous" this Wednesday, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to Benjamin, who recently met a young man. But there is a catch: they are both "active". Will this preference put an end to their budding relationship? 

Are there any sexual preferences that prevent a relationship from building? This is what seems to happen to Benjamin who has just met a young man, active like him. But for Catherine Blanc, sexologist and psychoanalyst, if this seems to be an obstacle, it is above all because the relationship is young. This Wednesday in "Sans Rendez-vous", she explains that if a real relationship is forged between the two, a path will be built.

Benjamin's question

I met a boy a few days ago. There is a great feeling and we talked about our sexual preferences. But problem: we are both active. How to overcome this obstacle? 

Catherine Blanc's response

As a general rule, when heterosexuals talk about homosexuality, they say "who makes the man" and who "makes the woman". It is also a funny thing, since it is wanting to reduce sexuality to heterosexuality. Homosexuals will therefore say "passive" or "active", which would obviously be an incredible insult in the case of a heterosexual couple, since a woman is active during sex in many ways. We should therefore rather say "penetrating" and "penetrated". 

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Are there always assets and liabilities in a homosexual couple?

I think there are actions on both sides. It's like a kiss: the languages ​​mingle, but do you decide which one goes into the other's mouth? Here, the subject is that two men meet and want to penetrate the other. We can say that there is therefore no common ground possible, but in general people agree. During a meeting, we feel the possibilities we have, because we are all potentially in a position of penetration or reception. 

And it's the same thing when we speak: we can be talkative and very attentive. We are not confined to a single role.  

Can we switch roles? 

The sexual act is not limited to penetration: caresses and foreplay are already a sexual act. If two people like each other, they will play together swapping roles to the limit of their possibilities. And if at some point it is impossible to accept being welcoming, the relationship ends there. 

It's a new relationship, maybe with the feelings they will want to alternate right?

In any case, if this couple becomes a couple, it is because there is a basis of adequacy with an opening on both sides and a possible path between the two.