The undergarment of discord. Bastien is used to not sleeping naked. But his companion would like to see him in the simplest device when he falls into the arms of Morpheus. What can he do? Should he change his habits? In the program Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1, the psychologist and sex therapist in Paris, Catherine Blanc, on Tuesday brings some answers to this not so trivial question within a couple.
Bastien's question
“My girlfriend complained that I never sleep naked but always in my underwear, which seems to annoy her. I tried once, but I find it very uncomfortable. Why? is it a matter of habit? "
Catherine Blanc's response
"What Bastien's girlfriend observes is that he can be naked when they have sex, when they cuddle, and then all of a sudden he gets dressed before going to sleep, like if he was in an absence of security at the time What makes us get dressed and we re-dress the sexual part?
It is indeed always a question of trust. "How come, as we go to sleep, you're on your guard and protecting your sex zone like you're afraid I'm going to jump on you?"
It is not necessarily that the other represents a danger, but that in the night, when we abandon ourselves, an exterior could come and be dangerous. One could have a view on sex, which would not be controlled by oneself. It's one thing to expose your sex, it's another to be seen without your knowledge. "
There is a practical side to staying dressed, especially in relation to children
"Of course, we know very well what our nights mean to each other. We can be disturbed, children can come and be exposed to things. that we don't want to share with them, but they are not supposed to come into the room unexpectedly.
We organize our life, we organize ourselves and we get used to being covered. You end up finding yourself very weak when you are discovered. There are also people who do not hide their gender. They cover the upper body while remaining very quietly the sex in the air. They need to be protected so they don't get cold and to be safe. "
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Why does she absolutely want him to be naked?
"It's a way of being able to say that there is a shared intimacy, that it is two naked bodies that are together. What we would not do by sleeping with who we do not sleep with: if you have to sleep with a friend, you sleep in your pajamas and you do not share this nudity.
There is something of the order of intimacy which is delighted to him. She would like to be able to live it even if it is not to consume it, but just to live this moment of intimacy of the bodies which can meet in the night and tighten, skin to skin. It's basically our animal momentum. "
The male sex is not very beautiful either ...
"It's a received idea, a man's idea, that he should always be magnificent, with an erect penis. Men think that they are only loved for their great splendor, but a woman also has fun to see a man in the intimacy of his loss of erection and his tiny penis. She could even participate in making him grow big. For a woman, it is not at all catastrophic, her hanging testicles resting one on the other and that flaccid penis.
It's the same for women: do they have to stand up straight so that their breasts stand up straight? It is also extremely touching. We always have to be magnificent, always made up… Seeing these abandonments, these sick faces and this relaxation is part of the relationship. Rather, that's what makes the beauty of relationships, to be able to trust each other in this context. "