It often marks the end of a love story. Whether they are a few months or several years old, infidelity is very often the obsession of couples, an act which can demolish in an instant years of confidence built over the years and the hardships of life. If by nature it is difficult to have precise statistics on the phenomenon, it is still estimated that one man in two and one woman in three will at least once make a misstep in their love life. This Friday in "Sans Rendez-vous" on Europe 1, the doctor and sexologist Damien Mascret takes stock of infidelity, the shock it can represent, and explains how a couple can get over it.
"If we are used to talking about infidelity in general, we must realize that we distinguish two types: sexual and emotional. Very often, we realize that men will start with purely infidelity sexuality, which will end up in a mixture of sex and feelings. In women, on the other hand, it often starts more with emotional intimacy, proximity, to arrive at the act. Of course, this is about patterns, it is quite possible that a man is sentimentally unfaithful and vice versa.
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Why does infidelity hurt so much?
No matter what type of infidelity, the result is the same: whoever has been deceived feels betrayed. It is really this feeling that is important and has consequences. Because the couple is ultimately our safety zone. And in this cocoon, loyalty is generally taken for granted. This is why an infidelity can go so far as to create post-traumatic stress, anxiety, anger, hyper-vigilance, disappointment, or even jealousy. In short, the whole procession of negative feelings.
Can a couple overcome it?
It depends on people and situations. There are aggravating factors such as the duration of the infidelity, the person concerned (especially if it is a friend) ... Not to mention that some consider the sexual aspect more serious when others give more of importance on the sentimental side. But it is still possible to overcome the situation, provided that the offender bends to a period of probation.
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That is to say ?
The first thing is to understand why we got there. Then, of course, you have to commit to change by stopping infidelity. But this is only the beginning: the partner at fault must agree to be monitored and very often to reassure his half. But even by doing this, you will have to be patient and mature because it can take years before confidence returns. However, couples who do succeed are much more solid afterwards. "