Passion, intimacy and commitment. In the program Sans Rendez-vous, on Europe 1, Doctor Damien Mascret deciphers the three components of love, as theorized. A triangle necessary for balance and cementing the couple according to him. And it must be taken care of: ensure mutual respect, not to fall into excessive jealousy or a lack of sexual appetite. In case of difficulties, do not hesitate to consult specialists but also to listen and communicate with an open heart.
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Intimacy, passion and commitment
"There is at the same time the passion, in love and sexual, the intimacy which you develop with your partner and then, there is the engagement in your couple. Let us start with the most important intimacy. The intimacy, c is to be good together. You are happy when you are with the other, but it goes further. You want the happiness of the other, there is this reciprocity which makes you wish him the best and that the other wish you the best too. And then it also goes to mutual respect. Self-esteem is strengthened and there is mutual understanding. There is material sharing. In principle, what belongs to you belongs to the other. This is how we make the connection with the other and this is how you are able, not only to be in connection with the other, but to communicate sometimes even without speaking. Sometimes a couple can spend hours together feeling good without having exchanged a word. There is no embarrassment at all. There is no discomfort pa Because you are in an intimacy that is completely shared. And it goes so much that we could have this pretty formula from a poet, Rûmî, who says that 'lovers do not meet anywhere. They are in each other, always. '
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Physical attraction, sexual desire, passion, of course, that's what jumps out at you. This is how a couple usually begins. And it also means that this passion makes you desired. You feel desired and you desire the other. You also sometimes have, in certain couples, the impression of belonging to the other or that the other belongs to you. Be careful, this is not something unbalanced, but something that is experienced positively. Otherwise, we switch to the pathological, we switch to jealousy.
Take care of the three pillars
If one of these three pillars goes wrong, we take care of it. If one of the two has ever disengaged from the couple, for example, if one of the two is no longer making efforts in the couple, we will have to have a discussion. So often it manifests in a very simple way. It is one of the two who will report to the other. "I would like you to put your things away, put them in the wash, take out the trash, take care of the paperwork." Whatever is said, it is important to hear it. Don't pretend. You shouldn't do it too badly. One really does it voluntarily to help the other. It is not to help the other. Precisely, this is where the subtlety is, to help his couple. It is normal that everything is distributed, that the emotional charge is well distributed.
On the other hand, from the moment when the other does not respect you, it is because he does not love you as he should love you. It is better, in this case there, to resume your autonomy if it is not able to respect you. If the sexuality goes wrong, you should not hesitate to consult because it rarely resolves on its own. And contrary to what many people think, well therapists can really help you with that. "