Marital dependence is a situation in which a spouse cannot imagine his life without his partner. And that is regardless of the way he treats him, he is willing to bear anything to stay with him, because he believes that his partner will not be able to live without him, or that he himself will be lost if the relationship ends even if he is exposed to abuse .. it is a type of addiction .

Author Joe Elvin explains in his article on the site "Little Man" that some who depend on the partner excessively and feel comfortable and happy, may deny that this is bad for them, because their condition is often depicted as signs of "true love", but that incorrect. Although these unbalanced relationships can last for some time, in the end they are not permanent.

Social advisor David Eisel recounts the reasons for this, in an article on his marriage.com website, saying that "reliability is acquired behavior, we see the behavior of our parents when we are children, and with the passage of years, we incorporate these behaviors that we have learned into our own relationships."

"Dependent people do not think they deserve love, or suffer from low self-esteem, so they accept the least thing from their partner and are attached to it a lot and they may accept the insults they are subjected to at times."

Dependents do not think they deserve love and accept the slightest of their partner (Pixels).

Women and men either

"When people think about extra reliability, they often think about women," said Sean Megan Byrne, Ph.D. and a professor of psychology at California State Polytechnic University, in an article on the Psychology Today. Minor or no differences between men and women in measures of interdependence, even some studies find that men score higher degrees of reliability than women.

Byrne attributed this to the societal cultural image of the role of men and women accepted in society. With regard to women, the general culture promotes the self-sacrifice of women and martyrdom for the sake of others, so the traditional behaviors of the wife, mother and daughter of caring for others are encouraged, and their lives are made easier by doing things for them and for them.

For men, behaviors that make women dependent on them arise from stereotypes and acceptable roles that men are encouraged to, such as the heroic and gallant role of the protector and savior. It is a prototype found in most stories, games and media that are marketed to boys and men.

Byrne says it is nice to help others and live in the title role, but not to the degree that makes others dependable people in a way that harms them more than good for them.

Marital dependency effects

Based on her book entitled "Dysfunctional Help ... A psychological guide to overcoming interdependence." Byrne says that marital dependence is a type of dysfunctional help relationship, as it helps one person to weaken the other, feeling irresponsible, immaturity, addiction, procrastination, or poor mental or physical health.

The auxiliary party does this by doing many things for the other party, making it unable to develop natural competencies that are appropriate to its age or true capabilities.

Likewise, due to their weak capabilities and capabilities, the relationship of dependents with others is minimal. This makes them closely related to their partner to satisfy many of their emotional and psychological needs.

As for the symptoms of excess dependency, Elvin says it is a feeling of unworthiness of your partner and that you do not deserve it, and much fear and anxiety of losing it, although there is no justification for it. Likewise, your self-esteem is linked to your partner's opinion of you, as any slight decrease in affection by the husband reduces your confidence.

Learning to self-love is the all-in-one solution to overcoming extreme dependency (Pixels)

Excessive reliability

According to the Psychology Today and Marriage.com website, excessive marital dependency can be overcome by:

  • Learning self-love, as it is the universal solution to overcoming excessive dependence. People who love and respect themselves have limits on dependence on others, and do not ignore their role in a shared life. Some people may suffer from difficult education from a young age, so learning to love oneself is difficult, and to overcome this you can write a list of the things you love about yourself and the achievements you have made in your life so far.
  • Be grateful, by listing five things that make you grateful each morning, and five achievements that you are proud of every evening.
  • Meditation, which is a good practice to improve focus, calm anxiety, and reduce stress caused by your persistent fear and insecurity.
  • Working to change and improve your appearance, update your fashion, and taking care of your appearance increases your confidence.
  • The development of hobbies, the best of which are the ones you can participate in on your own. It can be as simple as reading or listening to music, provided it makes you satisfied with yourself.
  • Circle of Relationships, most people fall into interdependence because they feel their relationship with their life partner is their only chance for love. But there are multiple sources of love from friends, family and children. So working to expand and nurture the circle of relationships greatly contributes to solving this problem.
  • Interdependence is more common than we realize, but it is important to be aware of its harmful effects. Also, overcoming interdependence is not easy, but it is worth the effort to secure your happiness in the long run.