In a relationship for four years with his partner, Julien is satisfied with a rather sexually fulfilled relationship. But the forty-something still wonders about a peculiarity: he does not understand why he can only enjoy in one position with it. On Europe 1, the psychoanalyst and psychologist in Paris Catherine Blanc brings her elements of response in the show Sans Rendez-vous on Europe 1, Thursday.
Julien's question, 40 years old
"With my girlfriend, we have been together for four years. Sexually, it is going relatively well, but I just noticed one thing: I can only enjoy in one position. How to explain it?"
Catherine Blanc's response
"It is understandable. It is quite classic, that does not mean that there are no other positions that work, that it could not turn to something else to give the possibility to the relationship of to bring sexuality to fruition. And, suddenly, achieve this ejaculation and not simply ensure a mechanism that must be started to reach its end.
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It looks like he's making love, he's making love, he's making love, and then, at some point, you have to put yourself in THE position to get there. It's a bit mechanical, it comes out of the relationship and the excitement with the other, in a masturbatory way. It is a question of finding the position which makes that at this rate, every time it works, 'as if I were masturbating'. "
Is it a story of physical position? Visual excitement?
"It depends, it can be the two elements, or only one. It depends on what is playing in the relationship: for example, he can have the vision of his face, her breasts, his buttocks and that so that’s what’s going to be really exciting. It could be because he feels more content, or he can be more active and less addicted to others, so he re-causes the rhythm who participates in his masturbation, to reach ejaculation. "
Are there positions that make it easier for men to enjoy?
"Basically, there are all the positions where the man is in peace and dominating, that is to say the position of the missionary. In this position, he knows exactly what he is doing and he will have his rhythm, by rubbing more or less and being more autonomous. There, it is rather for a history of mechanics and perhaps a position of domination. Otherwise, there are all the positions where the woman is back, because it is the vision of the buttocks that will excite. The man can also get stuck between his buttocks to be more content. It can be extremely exciting. It is a set of fantasies and a set of techniques where the man feels content . "
Should Julien try to do otherwise or can he be satisfied with it?
"Insofar as it also suits his partner, everything is fine. What is more problematic is when there is a nice relationship between the two but at one point, 'I put you like that, because that I'm going to go that far. ”This is the whole part where she is no longer in the relationship, but is only a means.
Even if it is not acrobatic, if you feel that you are no longer in the relationship, if you are only used, if you are an observer of a situation that escapes you, it will completely takes away from the eroticization of the relationship. This is not problematic in itself, but it can be problematic for the couple and this woman, who is bored. She may have the impression that everything she offers outside (her way of moving, of looking at him, of being active) never brings enjoyment, and that it is only when he is doing her little scenario that he is brought to enjoyment. It can create a mess in the relationship, a doubt, and a lack of confidence for her, to the extent that she feels little participation in this part of sexuality. "