Monday begins the original confinement of the French population, and Laure, 31, is afraid. Fear of meeting "new boys" when the coronavirus epidemic is far from over, fear of being faced with strangers in whom she does not trust. The 30-year-old prefers to see old boyfriends she knows well. To be reassured and relive a great story? This is the question she asked Monday to Catherine Blanc, psychoanalyst and sexologist in Paris, in the program Sans Rendez-vous on Europe 1.
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Laure's question
"Despite the end of confinement, I sincerely hesitate to meet new boys, I rather think of seeing exes whom I know well and in whom I trust. Perhaps the flame will be able to reignite. you? "
Catherine Blanc's response
"In fact, the confinement and the phobia of the virus awaken and reveal things which are buried in us and for some, more strongly, this fear of the contamination which represents the other. It is something which takes part in the psychic construction of any individual.
This is why when we are little children, we sort out green, red, white, etc. At that time, everything is a little scary, everything is subject to little beast that could enter me, or microbe or poop. It's part of our construction as a small child. It will refer to subjects of our construction which are first the food subjects, then the subjects around anality, then the sexual subjects.
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There is also the other that transforms me. The characteristic of sexuality becoming fertile is a transformation from one towards the other and conversely, even if the other is not pregnant, there is also the idea of being transformed in his life . With the unconscious desire, rather positive, but with the unconscious structure, which it suffers.
On the occasion of this confinement, this brings up the idea that the foreigner is dangerous. Laure, since she is looking for love, with an urgent idea of looking for someone to suit her, will rather tend to want to go where it is the domain of the known and the controllable rather than the uncontrollable .
But is it a good idea to see an ex again?
It is neither a good nor a bad idea. We pass by wonderful people and we pass our way before we have even developed everything that we could create with them. As such, I do not find it silly to go back to your first love or your first curiosity to see what can be born and emerge from all this.
In confinement, many people went to look for old friendships, old memories in their past, to rekindle them, as if suddenly the fear of the future was happening and suddenly we looked a little in the rear view mirror .
You have to be careful between not missing out on your life and always looking for something new to try to grow up as if it were always in the future that we would be, but also not just look in the rear view mirror for fear of future and our construction.
Is Laure afraid of getting sick with people she doesn't know?
Of course it has to do with the virus, but it goes far beyond the virus. All the elements of our life reveal our stronger anxieties in some than in others. There is the idea of having confidence, but there is also our feeling and our good will, it goes far beyond a single confidence. We would not betray each other. It's always the idea of mastery over non-mastery.
In times of difficulty, he is happy to see that around us, we already had answers and solidities, people to count on. We know their shortcomings, but also their strengths, their kindness and their complementarity with us. With a stranger, everything is to be built and discovered, which can potentially be disenchanting. "