Patricia's husband does not budge: once deconfinement started, from May 11 if the coronavirus epidemic is stopped by then in France, he will refuse to wear a mask. How to explain that he does not accept to wear it in the public space, when it can protect us and protect others? Sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc explained the reasons for this quasi-adolescent posture to our listener on Friday in the program Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1.
Patricia's question
With the deconfinement that we are finally projecting, the wearing of a mask is announced to return to social life. My husband virulently refuses. I do not understand this exaggerated opposition. What do you think ?
Catherine Blanc's response
"There can be two reasons for this refusal. The first is a need to go out, to escape or to refuse authority, perhaps because this confinement generated a tension in their couple relationship, with the feeling of being subject to government orders or his wife. And suddenly, being able to go out is finally freedom, and more specifically freedom outlaws.
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It's a very adolescent attitude that comes down to saying, a bit like young people do: 'When I am 18, I can do what I want.' There is no such thing. Doing what you want is always in accordance with the reality of the laws, whatever they are. If I take my car to go from one point to another, I must respect the highway code, therefore the law. But not because I'm nice or docile, but because that's what will get you there.
It is a teenage attitude which emerges perhaps because he felt during this time of confinement subject to the other and perhaps an authority which he perceived, real or subjective, on the part of his wife who rules or manages everything. This must have awakened things of the order of the almighty maternal. It is this 'historic Mom' whose rules and laws he wants to betray in order to finally define himself and manifest himself as a free man.
What is the second possible explanation?
The second possible reason for this refusal is because going out and going out with a mask can be a way of expressing our fear loud and clear. Unlike the Asians, we are not used to wearing a mask. So refusing to wear a mask is a way of saying 'not even afraid'. It is the affirmation of manhood.
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Instead of seeing that it's just a time, like that, during which you have to wear these masks, it's a way of saying that I really have cojones. I prove it because, even as close as possible to danger, I go out without a mask. It is to forget that it is not only for oneself that one wears a mask, but of course for others, and what is more for our elders.
Can we exercise a form of constraint?
Yes, but it is harmful. It is absolutely necessary to make a country understand the danger of the epidemic. What is to be deplored is that adult individuals behave like adolescents and are infantilized by prescription and punishment. When we want to protect each other, we are however obliged to do so.
It must be made clear that there is more freedom in respecting the law than there is in disrespecting these laws. When you are a teenager, you are extremely selfish, you are in search of personal enjoyment. We confuse freedom and enjoyment, while enjoyment is in the capacity to be able to do and do with others. When people don't understand, unfortunately you have to be a little firmer. "