Why do men make trouble? Female complaints in the days of homelessness

Farida Ahmed

It seems that the long hours of staying at home due to the measures to combat the outbreak of the Corona epidemic have resulted in various forms of interaction between spouses, some of which are positive as they appeared on social media through the participation of men in household chores and play with children, which appeared on the social networking site "Facebook" via Tag your photo # in the hall, some of which are negative, at least from the wives ’point of view.

Common problems
Several women's complaints have recently surfaced on social media, from husbands' requests and interventions regarding domestic work and their criticism of women's performance.

Despite the cultural and social differences, three main complaints were repeated about the man’s performance during the period of domestic isolation: his constant criticism of the level of hygiene without participating in it, the request for food all the time, and the constant complaint of disturbing children.

These problems are the most common among husbands at the current stage, according to Amal Al-Dhaif, the advisor of marital relations, explaining the reason for the void felt by the man with the current circumstances, and explains "In normal circumstances, these matters are among the tasks of the woman, and because of the void state that the man feels with his stay At home for many hours, he searches for the woman’s tasks and specialties to criticize her and fill his emptiness.

Female anger
The wives found their way to talking comfortably about the problems men currently create inside homes, through some women's groups on the social networking site Facebook, the safe space, serious informed interaction and support in providing advice encouraged them to share their current experiences with their husbands to discover that some problems are repeated within Most homes.

In the "Confessions of a Married Woman" group, which includes 147,000 members, one of the members formulated the problem resulting from her husband staying at home for long periods in his constant criticism of the cleanliness of the house and the lack of sterilization of the surfaces repeatedly, as well as her lack of interest in the refrigerator and left residue The food is inside it.

Others expressed their anger at her husband's endless requests to prepare food for him throughout the day, in addition to the main meals required of many snacks, such as cakes, popcorn, tea and uninterrupted coffee.

Others drew attention to their husbands ’commitment to sit and watch TV, and at the same time they complained about the children and their inconvenience, and they asked their wives to deal with the matter and spend time playing with children and studying for them without giving any help.

Why do they make problems?
It is not only the void that causes these problems, but also a change in the daily routine of a man confusing the general atmosphere in the home, and she shows hope for the island: "The man is not like a woman, so changing his routine causes him an unexpected confusion that he cannot deal with, and it appears in his sharp behaviors. While women are more flexible and acclimatized as the routine changes. "

While the third reason that makes a man more critical and accurate in his wife's work inside the home, according to Amal, is the expected unknown, as the nature of the man tends to plan and clarity of the future vision, and in light of all this, a lot of tension occurs in his life and thus is reflected in his behavior at home .

The fourth reason for the problems that the husband creates is due to the nature of the man who does not reveal or talk, often, about what haunts him or fears him, instead he practices unbalanced behaviors that are not related to the real crisis, and often falls on the wife who criticizes her domestic work.

Defuse crises
What happens from men and what worries women is a natural thing that applies to any people who reside together for long periods, which is not a matter of concern, according to the marital relations advisor, explaining that these problems reflect a man's concern for the future and his fear of the current situation, especially as he is primarily responsible for his family, She recommends a number of steps to deal with these problems before they turn into major differences, including:

1- Understand the current situation and try to contain each other.

2- Understand the different natures and the changing atmosphere in the family.

3- Ask your husband to share the household chores and prepare meals.

4- Containment and understanding of the state of psychological pressure experienced by the man and his nature, and ignoring his criticisms as best they can.

5- Create a healthy family atmosphere through group activities such as playing and talking with children, which reduces stress.

6- Make a special time for you and your husband away from children to talk and exchange memories that will calm the soul and summon happy moments.