INTERVIEW
The #NousAll movement revealed the results of an online questionnaire on Wednesday. And the figures are edifying: nine out of ten women declare that they had once had a non-consensual sex with their partner once in their life. The survey has no scientific value, however 100,000 responses were given in ten days by a majority of women under 35 years of age. "We wanted to measure, before talking about violence or sexual assault, everything related to pressure", explains Caroline de Haas, feminist activist, member of the collective "We all", on Europe 1.
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Giving up is not synonymous with consenting
According to the results of the survey, the majority of women in the couple have already forced themselves or been pressured during a sexual act. "The couple, intimacy, are not immune to the inequalities of society", analyzes Caroline de Hass. "Inequalities between women and men are everywhere, also in our intimacies. And the consequences are that the desire, the pleasure, the desires of women are minimized, denied."
"When we talk to these young women, we realize that they know little about their bodies, their desires, that they do not have the impression of being able to express them," deciphered the activist. "And they have in front of them partners who know little about the body of their partner and who do not necessarily have the wish, the idea of asking them what they want."
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With this investigation, the movement wants to send a message: saying yes, giving in or accepting is not synonymous with consenting. "Consent must be free, informed and this implies that there is no report of pressure or blackmail, and at no time an act of violence," says Caroline de Haas.
Eight out of ten women who responded to the survey explain that they were victims of derogatory remarks, or even violence, during a sexual act. "In a report where there is violence, the consent is difficult to enlighten", underlines the member of the collective #Noustoutes.
Education for consent
Behind these observations, the concept of "conjugal duty" remains alive. "Conjugal duty has not disappeared from our imaginations and from our collective representations," notes Caroline de Haas. "When you don't want to have sex, you don't have to have one."
The #Noustoutes movement has deliberately chosen to avoid the word "rape" in the thirty questions asked of the respondents. "If we had put it on, I'm not sure that all the women would have answered the same way," explains Caroline de Haas. "It is very difficult to recognize that you have been raped. Particularly when it comes from a person you love. We preferred to define the acts rather than putting words on them." As a reminder, legally, rape is an act of penetration committed with coercion, threat, surprise or violence.
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"We are asking the government to carry out a massive, representative survey which will allow us to look at the reality of this problem in young and old alike. We have a tool to learn from an early age to respect the consent of the other, c 'is National Education ", says the feminist activist. According to the survey, one in ten women gave in to their partner's expectations for their first sexual intercourse. "Why would we not teach children from an early age to respect the body of the other, the consent of the other?" Asks Caroline de Haas.