In a college in Utah, two notions collided during a boom: the importance of consent and the fact of not putting aside a classmate. On Valentine's Day in Laketown, a party is organized in the college of Azlyn, an 11-year-old girl. "She was so excited," said her mom to the Washington Post . The two previous college celebrations having been a success, the little girl was impatient to go back, hoping to dance there this time with the boy for whom she had a real crush. Full box for Azlyn, who managed to dance well with him. Surprised all the same: she was forced to dance with a boy whom she hates and who makes her uncomfortable.
Although she tried to say no, the principal of the college told her that saying "no" was against the rules of procedure. During the parties organized in this college, the custom for girls and boys is to ask some to dance with the others, after each music. All this with the aim of not leaving anyone on the sidelines and avoiding that we end up at parties with rooms where there are girls on one side and boys on the other.
"Girls must learn that they have the right to say no"
Intentions that Azlyn's mother understands, but that do not justify putting her daughter in an uncomfortable situation. "No means no. Girls need to learn that they have the right to say no and those around them need to respect that, ”she wrote in a long Facebook post.
An unwanted dance that launched a discussion on the importance of teaching children to respect the limits imposed on them, to manage being refused or simply to be kind to each other. “I am only a mother of boys. They have already told me that they are afraid of being rejected. I replied that you had to take your courage in both hands and ask, because you never know. And that if they are refused, that's life, ”commented a woman. “I will not remain silent while my daughter and all her friends are getting involved in the rape culture. Out of the question, ”added Azlyn's mother in her publication.
Old-fashioned rules, but still applied in many schools in Utah
The principal denied that little Azlyn was "forced" to dance, but agreed that students are advised to accept any invitation to dance. In an email discussion with mom, he suggested that before the next party, Azlyn tell her who she didn't want to dance with to discreetly handle the situation. Second alternative, that Azlyn not come to the party.
Rather common, other schools in Utah apply these rules, although they become old-fashioned. In 2018, a school had to remove a similar rule. A list describing who was going to dance with who had been upstream and sparked protests from a mom.
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