Mohamed Salah
Humans are social creatures that have grown to express themselves and communicate among themselves to obtain their needs, and during that matter there is not some shame that any person who might stutter at the beginning of standing in front of cameras, or sweat at the moment of medical examination, or be confused when starting an emotional relationship or Reveal his personal secrets.
This is common and confirmed by a study conducted at Stanford University in America, which revealed that 80% of the respondents mentioned that they suffered from shyness in one stage of their lives.
As for social shyness, it is a defensive mechanism created by the brain to escape the rejection or ridicule with which the person who lacks social skills is interviewed, which makes him feel nervous when dealing with strangers, and avoids eye contact when speaking to others, avoids participation in events and attending meetings, which affects his behavior And his actions towards himself and others.
This kind of shyness can be overcome and eliminated if we understand its causes.
What is social shyness?
Psychologists and sociologists considered excessive shyness a social and psychological disease that controls the feelings of the individual since childhood as one of the fruits of the tree of fear and anxiety, leading to the dispersal of his intellectual energies and dispersal of his creative and mental capabilities.
Studies have suggested that this problem appears more during adolescence, as scientists classified this pathological shyness into several types that include shyness of mixing with others, shyness of conversation, shyness of meetings, shyness of appearance, shyness of interaction with adults, and shyness of attending celebrations and events.
Its causes
Like most mental disorders, social shyness is caused by biological and environmental factors, including:
Genetics and the surrounding environment, according to Professor Thalia Elie, King of Genetics at King's College London London, "The reason for shame is 30% of it is due to genetics, while the surrounding environment guarantees the remainder." The environment and painful life experiences, such as failure to study and the impact of divorce, make a child Shy.
And also idealism, where British psychologist Chloe Foster sees that those who are ashamed to talk in front of the public, for example, set themselves high standards, "They do not expect their tongues to be removed in a word, and they believe that all who listen to them must have full attention and attraction to what they say all the time, in addition to Fear and the lack of self-confidence and leaving the practice of social skills to avoid embarrassment.
Likewise, the parental model, shy parents often raise shy children, and the mother’s excess fears afflict the child with fear of playing in order to avoid injury, so he remains introverted and shy.
Concerning criticism and threats, parents who openly criticize their children cause adults to become shy, become defensive, and their defensive reactions, and finally the deficiency complex. Some children feel deficiency due to physical disability, obesity, noticeable shortness or due to poverty, which makes them shy.
Its symptoms
Dr. Fadila Arafat, a professor of educational psychology at the College of Education at the University of Mosul and the author of "Overcoming Social Shyness" describes shyness as a kind of paralysis that affects both the body and the soul, and is like any psychological pressure that leads to the emergence of a set of behavioral symptoms, such as scarcity of speech in the presence of strangers, Looking at anything other than talking to him, feeling extremely embarrassed about speaking to a group of people, and a reluctance to volunteer to perform individual or social tasks.
There are physical symptoms such as increased pulse, stomach pain, moisture and sweating of the hands and hands, redness of the face and dry mouth and throat, tremors and involuntary tremors, while psychological symptoms include a focus on the self, a feeling of insufficiency, embarrassment, insecurity, and trying to stay out of the lights.
Treatment at your strengths
Treating social shyness is by identifying and focusing on your strengths, and restoring your self-confidence and positive outlook for yourself, as well as caring about reading for what you gain from ideas and vocabulary that are useful in dialogues with others, as well as developing skills and personal talents and social and voluntary activities as a bridge that connects you with people and opens you up Prospects for new relationships.
Likewise, body language, permanent smile, and looking into the eye of your interlocutor are important things that you need to practice with to open up to society, as it is one of the most important factors in treatment that you completely forget that someone is interested in monitoring you, along with perseverance and training to break into what you are ashamed of and value each step you take forward .
No room for shyness
Daily life is not without situations that require giving up social shyness. When you harm you or provide you with bad service, there is no room for shyness to ask to fix that or compensate you for it, and also when it is necessary to say "no" to your feeling of the need to set aside time for yourself, do so without shame.
Likewise, you should not be ashamed to refuse gossip in your surroundings, also do not be ashamed to separate your work and your personal life, and ask not to disturb you outside of work time, and when you find that you deserve an increase in your salary, do not be shy about asking for that, and if friendship does not bring you joy and inspiration, do not be shy From its cancellation.
But if your sacrifices for the sake of others have reached the point of harming you, do not be shy to limit them to the point that does not destroy you, just as you should not be ashamed to stick to your seat assigned to you on the train or plane and do not give it up to anyone without your desire, nor be ashamed to take a position or decision Contrary to the general public as long as you are convinced.