Rest assured, you are not alone .. everyone suffers from loneliness at some point

Laila Ali

The stereotype says that loneliness increases with age, so a person begins his life with a broad and active social network, and with the passage of time the friendships diminish and each person goes a separate path, and it becomes difficult to reach old friends and acquaintances.

But is this stereotype true to reality?

The answer tried to be presented by new research aimed at discovering the development of loneliness in the middle ages and old age of women and men.

The study, which was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology last month, examined the development of loneliness throughout a person’s life, and researchers found that the path of loneliness in middle age and old age depends on a person’s sex, so men suffer from feelings of increasing loneliness In the middle age stage, while women begin to suffer with these feelings in old age.

Gender differences

"The results showed significant differences between the sexes in age trends by feeling lonely, and a steady increase in loneliness from the age of 40 to 80 years for women, while the level of loneliness in men follows a curve on the research," says the research team, led by Tillman von Soest of the University of Oslo. U-shape, with higher levels of loneliness at 40 and 80 years, and lower levels of age between them. "

To reach this conclusion, the researchers examined data from the Norwegian life cycle, and more than five thousand Norwegians answered a series of questions that revealed their attitudes and expectations towards aging in this study.

The researchers mainly concerned with the answers of the participants in the research to three phrases related to feeling lonely, and they answer them with or without approval, which are:

- "I miss having a really close friend."

- "I find my circle of friends and acquaintances very limited."

- "There are not many who I can totally trust."

The researchers also tracked the participants ’gender, their ages, the functional and familial states of each of them, and the different aspects of their personalities, and found that the difference in paths of loneliness for men and women is too large to be ignored, and stated that“ the current study is one of the first studies to indicate age-dependent sex trends ".

The difference between the sexes was not the only remarkable result, as researchers also found that social and environmental conditions contributed to the development of a sense of loneliness in life later, and they wrote "The analyzes revealed that people who suffer from a disability or lack of a life partner and widowhood, recorded high levels of feeling In loneliness. "

Moreover, the researchers found that those with emotional stability and a tendency to happiness feel less lonely, and feelings of loneliness decrease during their old age.

Dealing with the unit

To understand the difference between men and women in their experience with feelings of loneliness, you can refer to the book "Stop feeling lonely" by Keira Asatrian, the family coach who says "There are many differences between women and men in terms of the feelings each of them experiences, when things do not go well in A woman's life, for example, tends to be depressed, while when a man does not feel good about himself, he expresses that with anger.

According to Keira, many studies indicate that women are more pronounced than men in general. With regard to loneliness, women may not necessarily feel lonely, but feel more comfortable when they admit to being alone, as opposed to men hesitating to acknowledge feelings of loneliness. Interestingly, the more "male" the man he was the more reluctant to admit any social disability.

Although it is unclear which of the two sexes has better coping mechanisms with unit, it is clear - according to the family coach - that men tend to focus on reaching a set of their knowledge to combat unity, while women tend to focus on individual relationships.

And since the weaving of good relationships needs more time and energy to maintain them, women have fewer relationships, but at the same time they are sufficient to prevent loneliness. As for men, they tend to weave a wide range of knowledge, where men feel less alone when they have a large network of friends and family and romantic ties.

In turn, Elaine Hendricksen, a clinical psychologist at the Boston University Center for Anxiety and Anxiety - in her article titled "7 Ways to Feel Loner" on Psychology Today - "It is important that people with loneliness challenge their feelings, while taking concrete steps to strengthen ties with Others. "

"It may be difficult to meet new people, especially for the elderly. But reaching out to those close to us like neighbors, as well as strengthening weak relationships in our circle of acquaintances, reconnecting with old friends, is a good start. There is no need to start from a point Zero, just think about the friends you have lost contact with and start from there, and volunteering as well as joining groups is another good way to get to know and connect with others.

"When you are alone, it is normal for you to feel a little despair. Rest assured that you are not alone. Everyone suffers from loneliness at some point, so do not be afraid to renew and consolidate your relationships and do not fear rejection," she said.