Abdul Salam Fayez - Amsterdam
They fled with their children from the hell of war, leaving behind a past and a legacy crying eyes, so that they can settle in the European continent, thinking that they will provide their children with a comfortable future after the lean years of war that they witnessed step by step, but they were not aware that they would fight another adventure and divorce would transform them And show their aspirations.
One of the asylum centers in the city of Wirt, in the south of the Netherlands, witnessed 11 cases of divorce among its residents, and the number was repeated in more than one center, and lawyer Sharif Al-Abadi said in a previous press statement that he attends every week one or two divorce sessions between refugees, where each session is characterized by the speedy decision-making and the easing of the case .
It is noteworthy that 90% of divorces are at the official request of women, not men, according to official statistics published by well-informed media sites such as the Jeron Network and the Abwab website. So why so many divorces among refugees in Europe?
Sumaya, the daughter of the Syrian north, agreed to meet Al-Jazeera Net, provided that no personal information was mentioned about her in order to avoid embarrassment, or to avoid the return of the clash between her and her ex-husband.
She is the mother of two daughters, who asked for a divorce from her husband about two years ago, and she insisted on him despite family appeals to prevent this, in order to preserve the future of her two daughters.
She says to Al-Jazeera Net, "As if I am required to live a lifetime under humiliation, humiliation, beating, and masculine sadism, since my ex is characterized by all these characteristics, because he loves to humiliate the woman, and in front of any mistake or omission or negligence, you find me abusing me with insults that human nature abhors."
And expresses her surprise, "Why does a woman always bear responsibility for any divorce occurring in Europe? She is accused of using the European law that supports women to live her life away from legal and moral controls, and this is absolutely not true."
|Sumaya's attempts to seek divorce in Syria were unsuccessful every time to reject her siblings on the pretext that it was a heinous crime (communication sites)|
In our country .. not for divorce
Soumia was in Syria, always calling for her power to be lifted - according to her words - and she often complained about this tragedy to her brothers, who were pressuring her every time to bear the rudeness of his nature for the sake of the eyes of her children, and she often left the marital home and the effects of the beating on her asking her to divorce him through the mouth full.
However, her attempts were failing every time because her brothers rejected the idea of divorce on the pretext that divorce was a heinous crime, and that a divorced woman quickly mentions her mention among people and becomes the subject of condemnation of authoritarian male society.
"There may be another reason that my brothers did not announce, which is that I will become dependent on them after the divorce, because I, as a rule, will settle in someone's house because my father passed away ten years ago, which prompted them to reject the idea of my divorce categorically, although I always told them the size of the injustice that I shall be subjected to him at my discretion. "
The scene between her siblings and her divorced woman often turned into a clash and an exchange of insults, but the matter was ultimately settled at the expense of her dignity, and each time she had to return to the marital home, humiliated, to repeat the series of beating and insult two days after her return of dignity.
Here in Europe, there was an opportunity to get rid of this heavy burden "not caring about what people say about me" and insisted on divorce despite her brothers boycotting them and threatening them with other things, assuring Al Jazeera Net that divorce is the best solution in such cases, and it is wrong for those who believe that divorce always breaks The future of the boys.
|Refugee: As if I was required to live a lifetime under humiliation, humiliation, beating, and male sadism (communication sites)|
Girl: I am afraid of Baba
Sumaya says to Al Jazeera Net, "I ask my daughter which is better before the divorce when they were watching their mother being beaten day and night, and screaming for 24 hours? Or now where calm and tranquility? I demanded my right to divorce only, and I did not demand that he be taken out of the city or harmed in order to preserve "Bread and salt" is between us, and it would be preferable if she took the testimony of my older daughter, too, nine years old.
Indeed, Al Jazeera Net met her oldest daughter and the signs of fear of her father were visible to her, and she stated that she does not prefer her father to go home, so as not to hit her mother on her head, and scream and cry and go out without a veil "I am afraid of screaming and I am afraid of my father, so do not tell him what I told you" .
In the language of innocence and in her Syrian accent, she said, "I do not want my parents to return because of what continues to hit Mama on her head and become Mama screaming and shouting and looking without a veil, I am afraid of shouting, uncle, afraid of Baba, honesty, do not tell me that I tell you something."
To find out the legal aspects of the case of divorce of husbands, we met Dutch lawyer Johnny Elia, who specializes in family affairs, and he is of Syrian origin, where he assured the island that the reasons for the increase in divorce cases among refugees in Europe are many, the most important of which is the budget difference between the Arab and European societies, as the man in the eastern countries was It is directly responsible for securing all the requirements of the family, as it is the economic pillar of the family. Hence, the man will gain the position premium, and he will have a valid and enforceable opinion that affects all individuals, starting with the wife and ending with the children.
While there is no such thing in Europe, after the state provided for all supplies for refugees, monthly allowances for the wife and children, and expenses for care and welfare that the man had in the past. Consequently, the wife became easier to divorce, because dispensing with her husband would not cost her much. Some women offer childish reasons for divorce that do not persuade others or even convince themselves, according to the lawyer.
|European society views the divorce issue as an issue that is less than ordinary and even helps (Getty Images)|
Ease of divorce in Europe
In addition, European society views the issue of divorce as an issue that is less than normal, and even helps on it, because separation between husband and wife prevails in many cases, and society does not view the divorced woman as having committed a great sin against herself and her children and her husband.
While Arab society condemns divorce, works hard to prevent its occurrence, and holds the wife and husband responsible for the consequences that result from it, and this is what drives the wife in Europe to accelerate her request for divorce, indifferent to the results and consequences.
When our lawyer asked about the wealth of all the cases he personally examined, he stated that the children were the victim in all divorce matters, as they were deprived of one of the parents, and in most cases the custody of the mother was legal, and therefore the children lost the father's compassion and important presence alongside them, which sets their future At stake, and threatens him with more dangers according to him.
In a testimony of a well-known social organization, the Palestinian House in the Netherlands, which is concerned with Palestinian refugee affairs but faces similar cases to the separation of Arab husbands, according to its head, Amin Abu Rashid, who has indicated to Al Jazeera Net that they have examined many of these cases, and they do not bear responsibility in any way Direct, neither for the man nor for the woman, for each case has its circumstances and circumstances.
Abu Rashid believes that the big differences between the Arab and European societies cause an imbalance in the marital relationship, and the man was unable in most cases of divorce that we witnessed to adapt to the new society, which gives women things that would not have been attained by Arab societies.
Also, sometimes women are unable to balance their marital duties and the new society, and for this many cases reach the divorce of the spouses despite all attempts at counseling and deterrence, according to him.
It seems that the Arab mentality bears responsibility for increasing divorce cases among refugees in Europe, as before reaching divorce, the Arab man must be aware of the dangers of the stage and prevail in the family in a manner that guarantees his right as a man, and in line with European laws.
And the woman is required to invest the positives of European law in a way that benefits her and her children and family, not to take advantage of the law’s bias towards her, in order to compel the man to prefer the fire of war and the buzzing of bullets to the hell of divorce, because the only difference between the two hells, in the first we hear the voice and the rumors of the slain In the second, everyone is killed silently.