Are you the one who makes 221 mistakes annually while raising your child?

Laila Ali

Motherhood is a full-time job without any training or supervision, so mistakes are expected, and this is what no one denies, especially during the first years that is characterized by anarchism and the exercise of your duties as a mother for the first time, but there is no need to worry, because motherhood is an evolutionary process, in which mothers grow day after day , Year after year.

Psychiatrist Sean Grover (in his article on Psychology Today) addresses the mother: Keep in mind that making educational mistakes is normal, but correcting them is not, as it requires courage to acknowledge them, especially for your children, and starting again and finding a new healthy relationship with them is a challenge . This is one of the advantages of motherhood as it gives you your children an opportunity to develop and improve your performance with them. Growing with your children will not only make you a better (not only) but a better person.

He continued, "Make sure that you are not the only one who makes mistakes while raising her children." I found a new survey that included two thousand parents, that the average parent commits 221 educational errors annually, or about four thousand educational errors from the birth of their child until he is 18 years old. This study was conducted on Americans.

As for the quality of mistakes committed by parents, a study by the OnePoll Center for Marketing Research OnePoll found that 65% of parents allow their children to have a great time to sit in front of the screens, followed by inadvertently teaching children 42% of inappropriate words, and allowing them to see something Not suitable for 39% of their age. The study also revealed that 50% of parents admit that their youngest child is their favorite.

Ten common mistakes
Psychiatrist Shawn Grove discusses - in a book entitled "WHEN KIDS CALL THE SHOTS When Children Have Control" - a number of educational errors that he sees most parents fall into, and below is a presentation of what he reached during his fieldwork in this field.

1. The mother does everything
Because the mother loves her children very much and wants them to succeed, so she does everything for them, and does not let them do the work that they must do themselves. As a result, her children face great difficulty in relying on themselves, lack motivation, and despite their intelligence they are not mature Emotionally. The solution is to give your child the tools of self-reliance and independence.

2. Meet all needs
The behavior of the mother is usually well-intentioned, and when she provides her children with all their needs, they become bad in their relationships with others, as they expect everyone to fulfill their needs without effort from them. It avoids them working hard in exchange for being empowered. Emotionally, these children suffer from a strange mixture of low self-esteem and arrogance. To avoid this, you should strive to teach your children to take responsibility.

3. The bad model
The mother's primary job is to set a good example for her children. However, there are many mothers who offer a bad form of behavior such as continual anger, blaming others, telling lies, and playing the victim all the time. They are thus unconsciously training their children to adopt the same behaviors. And you don't have to blame them for the bad behaviors and habits you taught them. Above all, think about adjusting your behavior and behaving the way you want your children to behave.

4. The bullying mother
There is some tendency by mothers to control their children and their whims, and instead of understanding the young, they are overwhelmed by orders, directions and threats of violence or actual violence. The goal here is to form children through intimidation, so the children of bullying parents suffer from problems in self-esteem and anxiety, and they have difficulty trusting others and fearing relationships in their future lives.

5. Contradictory decisions
Mothers who often change their minds, find it difficult to make decisions or provide strong leadership, are very likely to produce emotionally upset children. These children come to life with unstable feelings and weak identities. They have trouble identifying themselves, and permanent feelings of insecurity. Providing a stable home may not be available at times, but stable and consistent maternity is always within reach.

6. Criticism and comparison
Many mothers criticize their children and compare them daily with others, and this is a sure way to weaken your children's self-esteem and harm their fragile thoughts. Children who are criticized grow up thinking of themselves as unwanted, and unsuccessful. It only takes a mindless time to hurt your children with criticism or comparisons, but it may take a long time for them to recover.

7. No limits
Boundaries mean curbing destructive or dangerous behaviors through good judgment, and they are meant to respect the privacy of others. Some parents set very strict limits, and others do not set enough or clear borders, balance is required for your children to prepare them to leave your home ready for a world full of challenges.

8. Neglect unintentionally
When your time and energy are absorbed in the work that you do, you delegate others to do your tasks as a mother, such as the use of grandparents for example, and therefore your presence with your little ones is very little and not enough, and it leads to them being exposed to all forms of emotional neglect that eliminate the healthy sense of self. Emotionally marginalized children always experience mood and behavior problems. The simple act of listening to your child has a magic effect.

9. Ignore learning problems
Many academic and behavioral problems are a direct result of undiagnosed learning difficulties. Parents who are quick to classify their children - lazy, unenthusiastic and indifferent in school - fail to think about what might actually lead to their children's troubled attitudes toward learning. Difficulties make learning a painful and stressful experience. If your child has the slightest difficulty in learning, diagnosing the problem is a first step to finding a solution.

10. Emotion assessment
When your children reveal their feelings and insecurity, do not oppose or correct their thoughts or provide unwanted advice, and do not take it as an opportunity to give lectures about your experiences. They want to feel understood by you only and contain them.