Mohamed Salah
Eye contact is a type of body language that is just as important as words in making a conversation successful. Sometimes our eyes and bodies speak better than words, and even help us remember the faces we went through. And many of our relationships start with the moment our eyes meet and we realize that the other person is looking at us with interest, and Japanese researchers have found that visual communication is an intense experience that consumes additional brain energy to the point that makes it difficult for the brain to perform other mental tasks at the same time.
Avoiding contact with the eye may indicate that the person has something to hide, or feel anxious or shy. As for ignoring others visually, causes them to hurt their feelings and separates them from us emotionally, so in German culture it is called "looking at the air".
Charisma of communication
We can learn to communicate with the eye, and one of the people most described as attractive in visual communication is former US President Bill Clinton. How does Clinton feel shaking hands with him that he is interested in?
Clinton does this with his brilliant eye contact. His first step is to come close to shortening time and distance, then employ his talent for visual communication by looking into the eyes of his interlocutor. Despite his narrow eyes, he does not close them and opens them rapidly in the face of his interlocutor, but rather keeps them always taut, and supports his looks using his facial expressions, including facial muscles, eyebrows, muscles surrounding the eyes, the way of tilting the head, all of this contributes to creating an integrated mix of feelings that makes The communication process is fruitful and constructive, until it paves the way to end the conversation by moving away gradually, taking a look that says goodbye or a meeting.
You can practice the Clinton method, by communicating with yourself in front of the camera of your phone or tablet, just look in your eyes and rotate a virtual dialogue following the same steps, then watch again and notice how you feel.
5 gains
1) Appreciation: Visual communication is important to grant recognition and obtain it in return, whether when talking to your boss, or thanking your mother for dinner. Our eyes are what reflect our sincerity and the warmth of our feelings.
2) Understanding: Sometimes focusing the looks is the only way we need to show the desire to understand what we are talking about and reach a vital point about it, such as getting a yes or no saying.
3) Bonding: Direct contact with the eye is so strong that it connects emotions with long-term connections. Neurons that shine in a person's brain illuminate simultaneously in the person's brain that is communicating with him.
4) Trust: According to the expert of body language, Lilian Glass: Nothing fears visual communication such as tension and lack of self, as eye contact gains more strength, and promotes confidence, self-esteem, and firmness during the conversation.
5) Exposing thoughts and feelings: It is said that "the eyes do not lie." Also, there is no love story except with eyes that started to meet somewhere. From our birth, we looked into people's eyes to try to understand what they were thinking, and we will continue to do so for life.
9 references
1- The widening of the pupil is a sign of dazzling attention.
2- Tearing the eye with tears is a sign of discomfort that causes the person to rub it with his hands and try to hide it.
3- Looking at the forehead or avoiding looking at the face indicates lack of interest or thinking about other things.
4- Looking at the highest sign of boredom or remembrance, especially in meetings, classrooms and exams.
5- Reduced eye contact is the result of embarrassment, depression, or a reluctance to talk about self-esteem.
6- Winking with the tip of the eye is often humorous, and may indicate agreement in some funny situations, even if it is rejected in some cultures.
7- Looking at the bottom is an expression of refraction, sadness or feelings of guilt, although in some cultures there is a sign of respect and reverence for those concerned and status, by not raising the eye in facing them.
8- The side view is distraction and turns, because the natural field of view is often horizontal, so the side view is attention on the subject of the conversation or on the personality of the speaker. Sometimes it is a sign of anger or irritation.
9- Exaggerated stare to try to persuade is a sign of lying. While some believe that a liar is more cowardly than looking in the eyes of others, research has shown that a liar focuses his eyes strongly in the eyes of those who accuse him of believing that this boldness will dispel doubts about his lies, and an attempt by him to find out what If it is believed or not.