How can you convince your husband to listen to you and take your advice?

Although spouses who have a close relationship are in the best position to advise each other, they are less likely to work with these tips.

In a report in the American journal Psychology Today, Susan Krause-Westbourne said that you notice that your husband continues to make the same mistake when logging into your online bank account.

After each login, you must return the credentials, and although you try to be as polite as possible and advise your husband to keep the passwords in a safe place, the failure to log in will continue.

And your husband may need to get away from snacks because of the high cholesterol level on the advice of a doctor, and regardless of your effort to communicate the information, it does not respond.

The first situation involves a degree of inconvenience, but the second situation involves a high degree of risk.

Logically speaking, your in-depth knowledge of your private communication style with your husband is a positive factor, and you may be an expert by requesting service from your husband or suggestions on how to better coexist with a family member, and if that is what you need, your timing may be appropriate, but if your husband seems distracted Or effort, wait until the right moment to submit your application.

However, when it comes to undesirable advice, it cannot be communicated easily, and in fact the greater the risks in the advice, its delivery becomes more difficult, especially if it was advice that your husband did not ask for, and moreover, the greater your urgency on the topic, the more his annoyance and his refusal to take advice.

Advise sensitive area
Research on inter-couple communication tends to focus on patterns that partners use to resolve conflict, rather than the actual content of the conflict.

In a new study, Emma Muscari and CG Obanx Flaming from Elon University focused on how to advise a partner in a sensitive area, such as seeking mental health assistance, for example, when it comes to mental health complications grow because of the sense of shame associated with this field, and moreover, partners may use the characteristics of Short for mental health when they want to insult their partners, such as "crazy".

On the other hand, the sample included a study of Muskari and Flaming 282 adults who were hired through the company "Amazon Mechanical Turk", and they are characterized by very emotional relationships, in addition to their diagnosis of mental health disorders, and most of the diagnoses reported by members of the sample included mood and anxiety disorders.

Moskari and Flaming's study relied on the theory of planned behavior in their investigations, which suggests that people decide to make behavioral changes in accordance with the three areas of personal attitudes toward behavior, their perceptions of social norms regarding behavior, and the amount of control they think they exercise on this behavior.

When it comes to the search for help, Muskari and Obanex believe that the social dimension is the most important, and that "it is usually individuals who turn to their social circles for support, as the level of support they receive is directly related to their intention to seek help."

Positive and negative tactics
Although previous research has demonstrated the role of partner support by promoting physical health changes, the study notes that there is little previous work that addresses the search for mental health assistance.

In this context, research indicates that positive tactics such as showing patience, or negative tactics such as trying to make the person feel guilty are used based on the type of behavior targeted for change, and the impact of partner support on mental health is very limited, according to the author.

The study adopts the basis of the assertion theory, which is an approach that emphasizes showing consent and a positive view towards your husband who knows acceptance, and testing the capabilities or skills of a person, i.e. the challenge, and acceptance can help you give your husband a sense of self-worth, and the challenge in motivating him can also help you to realize The need for change.

Three viable communication strategies
The affirmation theory provides three viable communication strategies that you can use to guide your husband to make changes. In the event of high challenge and high acceptance, you will recognize your husband’s independence, but you also support him, allowing him to realize the need for change.

But in the case of high challenge and low acceptance, it is possible for your husband to make the changes that you require, even though he is not approved, and in the case of low acceptance and high challenge, he will feel criticized, and even if he decides to change, he will do so while he is upset with you.

To test the three basic strategies, the study provided the participants with a series of short essays in which a hypothetical partner begins a conversation about seeking mental health advice with a participant who falls into the three challenge and acceptance categories, and the participants read the short essays and then reveal whether they will seek help based on the treatment of their partners.

In addition to the articles that were the main focus of the study, the study presented to the participants a series of measures designed to assess their mental health symptoms, and criteria to identify barriers that prevent them from receiving mental health care.

The results showed that there is a positive effect of the high acceptance strategy and the high challenge on the extent of the participants ’confidence in the efficacy of treatment, and if you are trying to help your husband to accept your advice, the Muskari and Flaming study recommends gentleness.

It is noteworthy that helping your husband see the benefits of the assistance that you think he needs is based on conversation style, and in general he will see wisdom behind your point of view if your advice supports and respects his sense of independence of his personality.