8 steps to teach your child how to confront bullies

Farida Ahmed

Half of students worldwide from 13 to 15 years of age are exposed to bullying and violence from their peers inside the school, which negatively affects their education, according to a report issued by "UNICEF" entitled "A Daily Lesson ... Eliminating Violence in Schools". According to the report, three out of ten students in 39 countries reported being bullied.

Bullying and school
Bullying is related to the school environment only, as it is the most suitable place for the emergence and practice of this behavior from a child with bad tendencies. The writer and psychiatrist Ahmed Saeed explains that "racism, for example, is not bullying, it is possible that the person is racist towards the brown skinned people, but he does not practice violence Against them, while bullying is linked to the act or targeting of a person, "stressing that the child turns into a bully when psychological abuse such as cynicism, exclusion, and threats in the face of his peers is adopted.

UNICEF defines “bullying” as “one of the forms of violence that a child or group of children perpetrates against another child or annoys him in a multiple and repeated manner. Bullying may take multiple forms such as spreading rumors or threats, attacking the child physically or verbally, or isolating a child With the intention of hurting or other movements and actions occur significantly. "

Saeed believes that one of the causes of bullying is the "cycle of re-violence", pointing out that many studies have confirmed that children who practice bullying are victims of the home.

But that is not the only reason, according to Saeed. There are psychological problems that some children suffer from that make them aggressive and it is not necessary that they have been subjected to violence earlier or neglected or ignored by the parents.

He points out that "herd behavior" is one of the important causes of bullying, and he says to the island, "Most children tend to form gangs to engage in violence, particularly boys who prefer to join a strong group that practices violence against others," adding "also the search for fame and show of strength is what drives some Children go into bullying, especially if his physical strength helps him in this. "

Saeed believes that "children may be among the fiercest bullies, their cruel actions stem from not realizing their psychological impact on the victim," explaining that the bully does not care about the matter because the victim does not suffer any pain according to his belief, and all he cares about is raising the attention of other children.

Bullying victims

"Bullying" negatively affects the victim's psyche and lasts for decades, beginning with the rejection of education and school delay, psychological disturbance and lack of self-confidence, then isolation and counter-violence to suicide.

UNICEF reports a number of common effects that bullying has on the victim, including:

• Loss of self-confidence.

• Loss of focus and decline in school level.

• Social shyness and fear of facing new societies.

• Possibility of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and suicides.

In Egypt, for example, UNICEF estimates that 70% of students between the ages of 13 and 15 are subjected to a form of bullying, such as aggressive physical behavior towards a child or his belongings, verbal harassment, insult, threat, or exclusion from activities Intentionally and repeatedly.

Bullying incidents are spreading in Egypt remarkably, the most recent of which was shared by social media users for a video in the middle of last month, showing ridicule and "bullying" two young boys on an African student of brown skin, trying to seize his bag, and ended up quickly after the arrest of the young man bully.

But there are other bullying incidents that ended tragically, in September two years ago, when "Souad Mohamed," the mother of the 12-year-old Iyad, wrote on her Facebook page, "I don't forgive (I will not forgive) anybody (person) that caused my son's suicide." ".

The child committed suicide after suffering severe depression caused by his schoolmates' bullying and ridicule of him, to the extent that he called ugly names and disdain for him, due to deformations in his face and feet as a result of a fire in his home, according to the Al-Ahram Gate.

"The psychological impact on the victim is immensely bad," he said, "throughout his life, and in some cases it affects anxiety and depression, and increases the likelihood of her wanting to end her life."

How does your child face bullies?

Saeed advises mothers to educate their children about bullying and how to deal with bullies through several points:

1- Stay away from the bullied child and not respond to his provocations.

2- Surround your son with a group of friends to check on and feel confident, especially as the bully chooses his lonely victims.

3 - Inform the school officials immediately, while being aware that informing the officials is not a sign of cowardice or impotence but rather a sign of boldness and courage.

4- Responding firmly to the bully, as the bully usually does not expect the victim to confront him, and it is better to stress your child by not being emotional and trying to hit him or any physical contact, but by responding forcefully through clear and simple words without fear or anger such as "stop that".

5- Training the child in firm response skills, such as maintaining eye contact when facing the bully, maintaining a calm voice, standing at an appropriate distance from it, and using the name of the bully when speaking to him.

6- Avoid speaking in an emotional manner with the bully, as this gives him greater authority to practice bully his victim.

7- Teaching the child to trust himself and not to allow anyone to question his abilities and capabilities.

8- Educating the child not to ever turn into a violent and aggressive person due to the actions of bullies, while reminding him of the difference between him and those who offend others.