TESTIMONIAL EUROPE 1
Gabrielle's daughter is 29 years old and is addicted to crack. Gabrielle feels responsible for her daughter's situation and can not get her out. Last October, she had contacted Olivier Delacroix to tell about his loneliness and his helplessness in the situation, he had advised him to turn to groups of words. Gabrielle followed this advice but did not find the hoped-for help. In the Free Antenna, she expresses her concern since the old American boyfriend of her daughter, a man twice his age who had made her addicted to crack, is back in France and seeks to recover the custody of the child he had with Gabrielle's daughter.
"I have the impression of being in the worst case, my daughter has suffered since the beginning of her life, we have missed something: we adopted her, her father and I separated immediately after, she was barely two years old, so she lived in the permanent drama, it's our fault, that's our responsibility anyway.
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I have done some pretty fruitless research, I've only found groups that go to addicts to help them and not really their loved ones. I found a group at the Marmottan hospital (in Paris, ed) for the addict families. I did not feel it at all because it was mostly parents of addicts to video games, it was not my life.
I ended up finding a group called Nar-anon, anonymous narcotics, on the model of alcoholics anonymous, which addresses the relatives of addicted people. I found it very interesting, there is a real written method, the exchange is structured. We start by understanding that the addict has a disease, but when we understand that, we can not just tell him 'when do you stop?', We could not say that to a diabetic. The problem is that addicted people provoke a lot, they manipulate, they make us feel guilty, but we must not go into it.
Heard on europe1:
I feel completely alone, despite my desire to exchange
What annoys me with this structure is that it is of Christian obedience, and we are still being told about the 'superpower who will save us'. There is no proselytism at all, but I may have said that I was an atheist, we are advised to believe that the superpower is your will, your personal power, but there is still a very religious setting. I know it's mostly a spiritual setting, but it shocks me. I was raised with God, my father was very sick. As a child I made bets with God, with Satan, but they both disappointed me, my father was never healed and I decided that it was better to count on his own strength than on that of a hypothetical entity.
That's why, when other people talk to me, I know everyone has their case. But I have trouble to join, to recognize myself. I could testify, I bought all their literature, I told myself that I will return, and I could not, because I feel completely alone, despite my desire to exchange.
Involuntarily, I totally desocialized myself. When I see people, either I want to tell them it's hard, or I can not because I think I'm tired of them. It's hapless evening, so I stopped going there.
Heard on europe1:
My daughter told me 'in two years I might not be here'
And my daughter, she dive more and more, she makes a child that aggravates the case. We are responsible for another little life, which we take care of and raise. She does not want to get out of there, she says 'it's my life choice'. I asked her if she knew where it leads, she said 'yes I know'. She told me about a deadline for her child, 'in two years I might not be here'. She is aware of all that, it is her will. She is not explicitly suicidal, but at the same time she has a very conscientious life of self-destruction.
She does not take care of her little girl, she lives with her cat. Our granddaughter was at first at home, now she is at her grandfather's, my ex-husband's, and it's going very well, but it's a time bomb.
Heard on europe1:
Her father cuts our little girl from her bases
The father, rather the American parent, came back two years ago saying 'I was in the corner'. Suddenly he said 'my child, how beautiful he is, how he looks like me', and now he wants to take it. But he's a drug activist, a drug dealer. He has initiated proceedings against her to recover the child, it's not difficult given the state in which she is.
We educated this child, she has her bearings here and for nothing in the world we would not let him take her there. The judge has already decided a ban on leaving the country and a right of access and custody, a weekend on two and half of the holidays. But her father cuts her off from her bases, telling her 'you have to change your name, you do not have to use your mother's name anymore'. In any case he tries.
My ex-husband is at the level of the lawyers, he is a little authoritarian and manipulative too, but he is very good at activating a procedure in order to win it. Except he is very sick and we do not know how long he will be there.
Heard on europe1:
I can not save her, there is only she who can
My little girl is 6 years old and she has a problem of loyalty between her father and her grandparents. He works, he does translations, for what we know, but above all he continues to dealer. When he came back to France, he gave my daughter back to crack when she had just fallen back, she had resocialized herself, she had a job for a year and a half. He is stronger than she. Stronger in his head and body and may be less broken, less desperate.
I can not save her, only she can, but she must have the will. I must arrive for myself, and for her, to detach myself, not to bind my fate to hers. With the girl it's doubled and even prolonged in the future, it will never stop. "