EUROPE 1 ACCOMPANES YOU
The first sexual intercourse can be a source of anxiety, especially among young girls for whom the penetration can be likened to a violent act that could injure them. On Friday, at the microphone of Mélanie Gomez in Sans rendez-vous , Europe's health show 1, the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc wants to deconstruct the prejudices that make this "first time" a necessarily painful moment for the woman.
The question of Noémie, 19
"I'm a virgin and fearing penetration, I think I'd have to come across a partner who has a small penis to gently walk the way, which, of course, is unmanageable, I'm aware. Do you think so? "
Catherine Blanc's answer
"The fear of pain before a first report is quite normal among girls, they feel they still have a small body that will have to pose as a large body, be penetrated, with the idea of a hymen that could be painfully pierced [...] Under the best conditions, that is to say, conditions of desire, excitement and lubrication, not only does not hurt, and in addition we do not lose blood.
Unless there is an anomaly, to have adhesions, in reality, the penetration is not painful. Let's get out of these ideas that rocked all girls so that they do not make love before marriage. The reality is that when a woman is excited, perfectly lubricated, with a partner in her face who does not do anything and everything, at no time is there a question of pain or loss of potential blood.
Does the size of the penis have an impact?
What is called dyspareunia, which is pain during intercourse, occurs when a vagina is not lubricated. The fear of the man, the worry of losing his erection, makes him absolutely want to return quickly, and his partner is not always ready and lubricated. It hurts because there is a friction, while lubricated, it slides naturally.
It's not a small or big penis that will change this story. It should be remembered that a vagina, whether it is a woman who has already had sex or not, is very small at rest, with walls that touch and that it will be able to extend, in depth and width, depending on the size of the partner's penis.
How do you explain, then, that some women are hurt the first time?
Women often hurt because they submit to the desire of man, and therefore to the rhythm of man. They also often hurt because they feel they do not know and will know. Many young women tell me that they need to meet someone who has already had many sexual experiences because they will be able to penetrate them, when it is first about their body.
Rather than embark on a casting of the man with an adequate penis, you have to make friends with your own sex, understand how it is done. One can observe the ability to open to the penetration with his own finger, if the modesty does not prevent it. Otherwise it does not matter. But it must be said that one goes towards his desire, that it is me who opens me to the other and not the other who forces me to open myself. It is in this forgetfulness of herself that women feel pain. "