YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES
Louise, 24, suffered from unhealthy shyness at school. In particular, she recounts that she was the victim of school bullying, which worsened her situation. She explains that her shyness was particularly disabling on a daily basis but she managed to overcome her to become president of an association of eloquence today. In Olivier Delacroix's show on Europe 1, she detailed the path that led her to become what she is now.
"When I was little, my parents told me that I was not necessarily very shy, but from the start of school, speaking was very complicated, whether in class or at school. Outside, in the shops, everywhere, it was really disabling for me.
With hindsight and therapy, I realized that I was afraid of others' eyes and judgment. I happen to have suffered a little bit of school bullying and mockery from my classmates. I think it's really printed in me so I was always afraid to say something stupid and make fun of me, judge me. I completely went out. In college, it was really difficult and I totally lost confidence in myself. The most banal actions of everyday life were really mountains for me.
>> From 15h to 16h, share your life experiences with Olivier Delacroix on Europe 1. Find the replay of the show here
"I found a solution to avoid the conversation and to run away"
I always found excuses not to go to parties or to leave earlier. As soon as I had to speak with people, even if they were kind and came to me, they were climbs of anguish, climbed with heat. I found a solution to avoid the conversation and to run away.
It was a handicap on a daily basis, even with the family. For example, when going to a restaurant, I could not ask where the toilet was alone so I had to ask my parents. To buy clothes, shoes, I dared not ask for sizes. It creates frustration because you can not do anything alone.
It's instinctive, we do not even know why we are afraid. Even today, even if it's better, I'm always afraid to go talk to the seller, to ask my size. I still have a little apprehension even if they will not judge us. It has become an instinct.
"When I had to speak in front of an assembly, I panicked days before"
To speak in front of an assembly, until very recently, it was really anguish. I had mainly lectures or lectures to do and I did not panic days before, I had hot flashes, the chest that contracted, I sometimes found excuses not to go. At the time of doing it, it was really a trial, I became all red, I stammered, it was a disaster.
In college, I was very lonely. I had some childhood friends but I found myself very alone. From high school to college, it was more public timidity, so with people I did not necessarily know, or when there was a group, namely my class. I still managed to make friends and I was not alone. Precisely, I think that's also what gave me strength and helped me out of this shyness. My family did not understand why I was so shy, it's hard to help someone shy.
Arriving in Master at the University Paris 8, I saw the movie A loud voice: the force of the word . He follows the work of an association called 'Eloquentia', which organizes a training and eloquence contest in Seine-Saint-Denis and within the university. There are 30 students who are fortunate enough to take eloquence training for six weeks. They receive advice, they train for the contest, but also for public speaking simply. It is not a contest of eloquence or eloquence training, it is really speaking and self-confidence.
A film that changed everything
It triggered hope in me. I was 22 years old, I was in Master, I was always shy, I had no ambition in life, I was in depression. I said to myself: 'We must still come out of the abyss at a time. It's now or never.' My parents tell me about this movie and I watch it. It's so positive, so much hope. They are young people who speak, who say what they want to say. It touched me and I thought, 'It's so much the opposite of you that you have to sign up to try to do the training.'
The first session was very intense. We find ourselves in a group of 15 people, with whom we really have to get naked. The first exercise was to look in the eye with someone you did not know. An impossible exercise for me basic, except that I found myself with caring people, people like me, shy or not, but who were there to learn. It was hard at first but then we let go quickly and we grow up with the others.
Compared to the college where I suffered this daily harassment of people, there, people encouraged me, they did not judge. We are happy with the success of the other and we want the other to advance. It's really the key, the kindness and advancing in a group.
"I want to give what I was given"
Today, I became president of this association, it was unthinkable. I found college childhood friends and they say to me, 'It's amazing! Never would have thought that you became president of an association of eloquence. ' I want to give what I have been given. My first advice would be to let yourself live, to gain self-confidence. I feel that shyness is that we do not dare to exist, we are afraid that people will judge us when in fact, we are already great. We do not care about people. For public speaking, the key is really to train. Training alone, training in front of people you know and trust, training in front of strangers. You have to repeat, repeat, repeat and it gives you confidence to have done it already. "
>> Click here to find the full story of Louise
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