YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES
After several years living alone, Delphine, 28, was unemployed and had to return to live with her parents in Picardie for almost a year. "Clearly, my social life has taken a hit," she told the microphone of Olivier Delacroix on Europe 1.
"I had a new life project that was to start freelancing, I left my old job a bit too fast because it did not go well at the end, I was not really ready for my project at that time and live with only unemployment in Paris, it is not possible.At a time, I had no choice and my parents always told me they were there for me They were very kind to welcome me.
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"It was a bit hard to find myself with a rhythm that was not mine anymore"
The hardest thing was to readjust to the rules, especially since I was working at night, so I was out of rhythm. It's more with my father that I felt that way. With my mother it was simple because the discussion was easier. After me, I was not necessarily in a good mood either because my project did not work. Once I managed to get past that, it went better.
It was a little hard to find myself with a rhythm that was not mine for four years. And then I'm in a step a little greener so there was a shift also on that side. I had to learn how to let go of ballast. I sensitized them but I always wanted more.
At one point, a friend put me back in place and said, 'Did you thank your parents for making an effort?' It made me a little shock and I thought it was true, the answer was 'no'. There, I changed my speech a bit.
Conflicts between parents, "the most complicated part"
It was not going very well between my parents and that was the most complicated part. When we live outside, we see it two days here and there, so we do not really realize it even if we know. But to relive everyday ... There are mornings, I got up, I knew very well that it was going to clash in the day. So, there is a stress that is constantly there. And I also wanted to absolutely control things to make it better between them.
I really wanted to change things and I was trying to put things in place to make it better between them. I've been told many times, 'It's not your role.' It's true that it's not my role. It was stupid but it was a source of conflict because I wanted to intervene and help them.
(...) I found myself between four walls with my parents. I lived at their own pace and when I had to leave, it was hard to tell me: 'I'm going back to independence.' In addition, I left in van so it is not a similar comfort of life. There was fear and I did not want to let go of parental comfort. And as it was better between us, it was much more complicated to leave them.
"I call them at least once a week"
In van life, loneliness is the hardest to handle. Every night, we told each other our days, we spent time together. Even if it was just watching a movie, it was still a moment that we shared together. The weekend, we took the drink and there, there is more all that. Today, I call them at least once a week. "
The opinion of the specialist
Michel Billé, sociologist, author of Conjugal Link and Aging (Ed Eres)
"[Returning to his parents] is a growing phenomenon that has emerged significantly in our country since the economic crisis of 2008. Immediately appears one of the causes of this phenomenon, the financial difficulties in which are, so Provisional but significant, a number of our contemporaries at this moment in their life where we could believe them gone forever.If there was not a severe look on these adults, we would not even talk about it. It is because the look is severe that the situation is difficult to live.
For parents, it's both pleasure and compulsion. This is just the potential trap of the situation. Nobody imagines leaving his son or daughter in great difficulty without welcoming him, whatever his age and whatever the situation. How not to live this as a duty, an obligation and sometimes a constraint? It is a daily jostled that will have to reinvent for a period unknown a priori.
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