Sometimes called "morbid attachment", love addiction occurs when feelings of attachment and affection become overly obsessive and uncontrollable and turn into a form of illness.
How does that happen?
And what drives some people to this insatiable need for love?
Psychologists and specialists agree that love addiction is a type of behavioral addiction that is characterized by excessive attention to a person, which leads to lack of control and abandonment of other interests and activities, and may be associated with some obsessive-compulsive behaviors that lead the wife to constantly thinking that the husband will abandon her Or vice versa, which increases attachment and makes it more complex.
Pathological attachment becomes a problem when pathological behaviors increasingly encroach on other responsibilities and obligations.
The partner feels the compulsive desire to seek love because of strong feelings that start with the need for a sense of belonging that deepens and repeats itself when the partner feels abandoned or rejected.
Attachment disorders can occur in children who have trouble forming deep emotional relationships with new people, far from the mother, father, or the child's primary caregiver, affecting his ability to express his feelings and his ability to build strong relationships later in his life. .
When we lose love and respect
Pathological attachment occurs to people who have suffered from childhood problems or been subjected to severe psychological trauma or abuse, which made them lack love, belonging, acceptance and self-esteem, to look for these feelings in others instead of them coming from within them.
Physical abuse or repeated abandonment can also be a cause of pathological attachment, as these people lose self-esteem and are unable to discern healthy boundaries in relationships.
Psychologist John Bowlby describes attachment as an emotional bond that influences behavior from childhood to old age.
And that bond begins in early childhood with our relationship with our parents, how we behave in relationships, and how we allow ourselves to consciously express our feelings.
Early attachment leads to a particular mental model of relationships, which continues to shape our interactions with others even after maturity.
A pathological attachment person tends to place excessive demands on others, and may constantly feel an unfulfilled need for emotional exchange and intimacy regardless of the other person's feelings or desires.
They also become very anxious about separation, as they suspect that the other party may abandon them at any time, which pushes them into a kind of one-sided relationship, in which they put all their feelings and want the other party to take constant and exaggerated care and pampering in return.
Love addiction can cause a person to focus on their loved ones as if they were something they had (Shutterstock)
Love is never satisfactory
Normal people tend to reciprocate love, while people who are pathologically attached to other people cannot give, nor care for the other, whether in friendship, love, or marriage, nor do they show any interest in caring for other people.
Relationships for them are nothing but a way to satisfy their unmet needs. In addition, satisfactory love is often motivated by the idealism of the lover and his ability to live up to the expectations of the party involved.
Love addiction takes these feelings as far as possible, as it makes a person focus on their loved ones as if they were something they own, not allowing them to interact with other people, go somewhere without their company, or even think of others.
So far, pathological attachment or love addiction has not been included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
However, this obsessive love can be an indication of other psychological problems and disorders, so if a person who suffers from pathological love cannot control the general symptoms he feels, he has difficulty regulating his feelings, which may lead to more violent disorders and behavior.
Other traits of pathological love
True love involves accepting the other person while acknowledging their own shortcomings, while pathological love makes the person neither see nor acknowledge the other person's flaws.
People who are pathologically attached to the other party refuse to end the relationship, no matter how incompatible it seems, and it is very difficult to convince them of the idea of abandoning the other party, and it may even threaten the other party if he tries to end the relationship.
Pathological attachment can sometimes involve a non-active relationship, such as that of a person with a celebrity or with a stranger they do not know.
Refusing to listen to the other person's feelings and refusing to accept any boundaries he is trying to create.
Too preoccupied with the relationship all the time.
People who are pathologically attached to the other party refuse to end the relationship no matter how incompatible it seems (pixels)
How is pathological attachment treated?
Attachment therapy focuses on identifying and treating the cause of the obsessive thoughts and feelings. For example, a person may need certain drugs to control delusions and negative thoughts.
He may need to dismantle those feelings and refute them with the other party to avoid the obsessive fear of abandonment.
In addition, it is preferable to use family therapy or to help the individual replace positive, constructive thinking with negative delusions.
For many people, therapy is key to managing obsessive feelings and developing healthy relationships.
The therapist often helps untangle the traumas and past events that caused the attachment, and lay the foundations for healthier relationships.
It is always difficult to take the first step in breaking a pathological attachment, because the threat of loneliness frightens the emotionally attached partner, but it is important to focus on your desire to be happy and relaxed.
Once you are honest with yourself, you can take action to promote that happiness without relying on someone else.
Journaling can also be a good way to confront yourself, monitor thoughts, and write down everything you need to find your emotional peace.