Middle child syndrome has significant psychological, emotional, and social effects (Pixels)
Sociological research indicates that the “middle child” is often less close to the parents, as he receives less attention than his older brother, the “firstborn,” and the atmosphere soon becomes empty for him until the parents’ attention turns to a newcomer as soon as the youngest child is born.
Sociologists call this condition “middle child syndrome,” noting that its victims suffer from an “identity crisis” due to the lack of a specific role for them in the family.
They often see the older sibling getting more privileges and more celebration for their accomplishments, while the younger sibling gets a lot of attention and less duties, which prompts the middle sibling to ask: What can I do to be special?
Middle child syndrome expresses an imbalance or disorder that children experience at an early age (Pixels)
Prevention of middle child syndrome
Educational consultant Dr. Ayesh Al-Nawaisa says, “There is no doubt that middle child syndrome expresses an imbalance or disorder that children are exposed to at an early age, and its effects are significant from the psychological, emotional, and social aspects, and there can even be repercussions on safety and physical health.”
“Perhaps research into the reasons goes directly back to the parents in terms of neglecting the middle child, and giving attention to the older child in aspects of responsibility, or the younger child who is newly born,” according to Al-Nawaisa.
He added, "There is no doubt that this generates a negative reaction for the middle child, including weak self-confidence and a feeling of isolation, and it reflects negatively on his outlook and his relationship with his siblings, which is closer to hatred and envy."
Al-Nawaisa: Parents’ lack of experience in raising their children is a major cause of middle child syndrome (Al-Jazeera)
Psychological and social symptoms
According to the educational consultant, the middle child usually suffers from psychological and social symptoms that appear in his personality when he lacks interest, including a loss of self-confidence and his tendency to become withdrawn and isolated from his family.
The child who suffers from this is also characterized by stubbornness towards his family and siblings, and may express a desire to harm others, and he usually expresses joy over any negative event that the family is exposed to that does not affect his being.
“If this feeling persists among the middle child, it is likely to affect his personality even when he grows up, as he practices behaviors related to his insistence on expressing himself, even by force, and becomes more adherent to his opinion and more rigid in accepting the other opinion,” according to Al-Nawaisa.
He may resort to violence to express himself, and he usually suffers from social problems in his life that may have a significant impact on his family life, such as failing to build and form a family.
“There is no doubt that the lack of experience of the family (the mother and the father) in raising children is responsible for what the middle child suffers,” according to Al-Nawaisa. “The family must - in essence - adopt an educational approach that takes into account all children, regardless of age, or any other circumstances, even if "He was suffering from a certain health condition."
Parents are advised to give the “middle child” the same attention given to the eldest or youngest, not to make preferential comparisons between children, to give attention to the middle child, and to consult a psychiatrist if necessary in order to deal with children optimally.
Touqan: Encouraging the middle child to develop his skills and discover his talents (Al Jazeera)
Reducing the possibility of the syndrome occurring
In turn, child psychologist Dr. Asma Toukan stresses the importance of following methods that can help reduce the possibility of middle child syndrome occurring and promote his correct and positive development within the family, the most prominent of which are:
Enhancing self-confidence by encouraging the middle child to develop his skills, discover his talents and interests, and motivate him when he achieves his accomplishments.
Increasing and strengthening fraternal ties by building positive relationships between them, cooperation among them, and their support and understanding of each other.
Fairness and balance in treatment, by taking into account the distribution of attention and care among them without preferring one over the other.
Providing opportunities for the middle child to participate in activities that suit his skills and abilities.
Constant communication with all family members to ensure that each child feels cared for and supported.
Toukan concludes, “If the middle child does not receive what he feels is sufficient attention from his parents, he may feel neglected, angry, sad, or frustrated. This feeling may appear in behaviors such as rebellion, seeking attention in negative ways, or even undervaluing himself, and anxiety.” And personality disorders such as antisocial personality or borderline personality.
This feeling can affect the development of his personality and social relationships, and can lead to increased tension within the family.
The middle child needs to communicate with people outside the family in order to increase his self-confidence (Pixels)
Important tips
Finally, the “Aha Parenting” website offers several tips that parents can follow to prevent middle child syndrome, the most prominent of which are:
Put more effort into your relationship with your middle child.
This relationship may already be very close, but if not, or if you see your middle child struggling, consider that he or she may need more.
Make sure he feels like an important part of the family.
All children share a basic need to feel important in their family, but the middle child position makes it less likely that this need will be met.
Encourage your middle child,
he needs to feel like he can shine and compete.
Make sure he has a social life,
as he needs to communicate with people outside the family in order to increase his self-confidence.
Source: Al Jazeera + websites