THE PSYCHO QUESTION - My daughter appears in a swimsuit on social media, it worries me

>> A happy memory on a beach and a photo that ends on social networks.

Many people do not hesitate to show off in swimsuits on the Internet, even teenagers.

This is the whole problem of Marie, who is worried about her 17-year-old daughter.

Afraid of the idea that perverts are doing her wrong because of a photo in a swimsuit, she wonders if she should intervene.

In "Sans Rendez-vous" Monday, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc argues that the young girl is not necessarily aware of what she is causing.

According to the specialist, if we should not ban, a discussion is necessary.  

Mary's question

"My 17 year old daughter is on social media in a swimsuit on her profile picture. She is very pretty, but I am afraid of perverts. Should I forbid her to upload such pictures or is it his freedom? "

Catherine Blanc's response

If this young girl has of course the freedom to express herself as she wishes with her friends, she must also be explained what she provokes and ask her why she is reduced to it.

Seduction is not about putting yourself in the window.

Today it's in a swimsuit, but what will it be for the next generation?

All naked?

It's not that nudity is a problem, nor being in a bathing suit on the beach.

There is no problem. 

It's just asking the question of the relationship to the other and why I am reducing myself to someone in a bathing suit.

Of course there will potentially be, as this mom quite rightly says, all those who are wolves who will try to look for the easy prey feeding their fantasies.

And this young girl is not necessarily aware of what she is causing.

However, you should not make her feel guilty, but simply ensure that she remains the actress of her choices and that she does not let herself be carried away by a group effect. 

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Is showing off a little naked on social networks a form of provocation? 

First, it reflects the need to be part of your group.

It is always difficult for us, as parents, to welcome what our children do because we do not have the same codes and because, in essence, children are looking for other codes to stand out from the parental field. .

However, it is up to us to warn them of what is at stake.

Because she can find herself in a relationship of seduction and provocation that she does not necessarily assume in reality and which, suddenly, would put her in difficulty.

As soon as it leaves the group, it immediately takes on a connotation that can be extremely anxiety-provoking for the girl in question. 

But would the question arise for a boy? 

Indeed, that would be another story.

Still, it should be the same.

But in the case of a boy, there would not be the potential risk of falling prey to the other.

In any case, we must explain to our children that they do not have to reduce themselves to an image which puts in an object position, instead of being in a subject position. 

Finally, should Marie prohibit this kind of photos from her daughter?

Generally the parents are not very listened to ...

I think we still have to say things, because the issue is not that of perverts.

The real subject behind these photos is the idea of ​​being reduced to an object.

And the more we reduce ourselves to this state, the more we hurt ourselves.