Laila Ali

“Happy families are the same, and each unfortunate family is unhappy in its own way,” thus begins Leo Tolstoy's classic novel Anna Karenina.

Tolstoy did not talk about how similar happy families were, so Gerald Schoenwolf decided to do it based on his research as a psychoanalyst.

Schoenwolf says that happy couples are happy to meet them on five basic characteristics:

Good communication
If happy husbands have a problem, they talk about it, they have the basic confidence and commitment that they are not allowed to expose themselves to danger through marital silence, on the contrary they share their pain because they are confident of receiving support and kindness from the other partner, and communication between the husbands aims to resolve the conflict and rebuild proximity Familiarity.

Happy couples while communicating are not concerned with the right or wrong of the other party, because they consider themselves one person, and the important thing for them is that their relationship is healthy and healthy.

Commitment
According to Gerald Schwenulf, happy couples are committed to each other, each side takes the other seriously, one does not underestimate the needs, satisfaction and happiness of the other, this firm commitment is what brings stability to the relationship and gives both spouses the strength to deal with the ups and downs that each relationship goes through.

Commitment is like glue, as it strengthens the marital relationship, no matter how difficult your partner faces, he knows that you are there, there will be no provisions, no criminalization, and no threats to leave or divorce, such things are not contained, and commitment exists as a strong, stable basis that preserves the relationship .

Adherence to glue, as it enhances the marital relationship (Getty Images)

Acceptance
No one is perfect, and we are all far from perfect. According to this rule, happy spouses accept each other as they are, accepting each other's flaws because they are able to accept their own flaws.

Schoenwolf considers that the key to success is summarized in the following phrase: "You must accept others in the way that you should be able to accept yourself as you are," and therefore if your partner tends to worry, snore, camouflage, stutter, talk a lot or speak a little then you accept these things without nag.

Passion
The relationship between happy husbands is the most important thing in their lives, they are always eager to see each other, their relationship is constant, and many husbands begin with a certain affection during the honeymoon phase but this kind of affection recedes somewhere along the way, but true passion is something that lasts to what Then.

Passion is the salt of the marital relationship, and it is what gives it its vitality, and commitment to the marital relationship without a passion leads to an empty relationship, and good communication between the spouses is what nurtures this passion and builds the passion between them.

the love
Schoenwolf considers that falling in love is often unhealthy, and he said that healthy love is something that happens in conjunction with the above characteristics, which are good communication, commitment, acceptance and passion.

He explains that our first experience of love is in our relationship with our mother, where love is not transmitted by words but by action, and in the same way, when we experience trust and safety with our partner in life over a long period of time we live the lasting love that makes life worth living.

Definition of happy couples
"Happy couples are not identified with the number of intimate messages they shared on social media or the amount of their liked pictures they posted," says Ashley Baba on Style Custer.

And she adds to Gerald Schoenwolf's list some other things that couples should pay attention to, and says that happy couples really love and respect each other, and they see the best in each other, and each of them has great confidence in the other.

"Happy couples tend to be more physically affectionate, and they sincerely care about what is going on in each other's life, and this applies to everything from thoughts and feelings to activities, as they feel each other's appreciation, and they provide verbal praise, appreciation and support." To each other, just as they like to spend time together, not trying to change each other, and finally they feel acceptable to each other. "