Cut the judge's hair, see Bambi once a month ... The most extravagant royal court decisions

Judges and magistrates often repeat that no two cases are the same. That is the reason, along with the absence of a single jurisprudential criterion when interpreting each article, for which each sentence is unique and that explains that, from time to time, there are most extravagant decisions.

Some as surreal and incomprehensible as the one signed by the London court of Southwark Crown in 2017 and which served to exonerate a man of the rape of an 18-year-old girl, arguing that the accused accidentally fell on his victim and unintentionally penetrated her because his penis "stuck out" of the underwear.

Although there are many sentences of a macho nature that have accumulated throughout history, one of them, drafted by a Mexican court in 2010 , is especially hurtful. That year, Judge 42 of the Family Court of the Superior Court of Justice of the Federal District of Mexico , ordered to withdraw custody of her son from a Spanish woman after considering that she did not fulfill the role of "traditional mother". To make matters worse, the ruling also included the obligation to go to psychological therapy "to accept traditional gender roles."

A little further north, specifically in the state of Missouri , in the United States , a judge considered that the best sentence for a hunter who had killed more than 100 deer illegally was to spend a year in prison in which he would be forced to watch the movie Bambi , at least once a month.

Also in the North American country, in this case in Cleveland , a magistrate condemned a woman who went off the side of the road to overtake a bus for the payment of $ 250 and to walk every Tuesday and Wednesday for an hour in which she had to carrying a sign with the following message: "Only an idiot would drive down the sidewalk to pass a school bus."

Surreal sentences in Spain

One of the most phlocratic and insulting sentences ever seen was signed by a Spanish magistrate in 1992 . Specifically, Miguel González Calderón , who acquitted an ATS of having kissed the breasts of a woman on the understanding that "it is difficult for the complainant, 60, to awaken these instincts in the accused," taking into account "that by her profession she will have no doubt better opportunities. "

Another Spanish court, in this case the Granada Social Court number 4 , declared the dismissal inadmissible to a worker who, sensing that he was going to be fired, insulted his boss and threw several karateka kicks into the air. According to the sentence, "the imposition of the dismissal sanction, which is the most serious that exists in the workplace, is not appropriate to such behavior." Months later, the ruling was ratified by the Andalusian Superior Court of Justice .

A sentence that is still remembered in Huelva , not because of the ruling but because of its wording, was issued by Javier Pérez Minaya to file the complaint of a woman against the man who emulated King Baltasar in the Huelva cavalcade of 2010 for causing injuries to him in an eye during the candy toss.

In the sentence it was possible to read: "Without being able to affirm that there is a friendship with the denouncing party", given that the accused, "with the help of the kings Melchor and Gaspar , have been offering him yearned for presents every January 6 since he had use of reason ", he was forced to file the case, insofar as his Majesty's nationality should be" determined, since being well-known that he comes from the East , more than 2,000 years ago the controversy around his true Thus, only knowing its nationality, applying the rules of Public International Law , it could be clarified to which jurisdiction and to which judicial body, within it, it would be appropriate to instruct. "

A little less than 350 kilometers from there, the juvenile judge of Granada , Emilio Calatayud , has ended up becoming one of the most mediatic judges in Spain after issuing several of the most pedagogical sentences. The first, which leapt to the media, was signed in 2003 . That year, he sentenced a minor to accompany a local police officer for 100 hours for driving without a license. Years later, in 2014 , he sentenced a hacker for revealing secrets to give 100 hours of computer classes to young people. Already in 2017 he ordered another minor who had stolen from a hairdresser to attend a styling workshop and cut his hair after completing the training.

It is impossible to conclude this review of the most outrageous sentences without mentioning a couple of those drawn up by the Canarian judge and poet Álvaro Gaspar Pardo , who in 2011 wrote the following verses after determining that a stewardess had to be compensated by the academy he had attended to get a degree:

"Darkness of the heart. The resolution of the litigation begins at the end. Why did the rra attend . Cabo Vizo to the trial if his interrogation had not been asked? Because it hurt, his heart hurts. Perhaps, hopefully, the present contributes to derive such pain into the pocket (...). The plaintiff has fought hard for her right for three years (three courses, three trips, consumer complaints, out-of-court claims, notaries, solicitors, lawyers, and personal appearance at the trial , the defendant recklessly depriving him of his word by renouncing his interrogation without just cause or prior notice. And it is fair, for the reasons that follow, to give him reason. "

11 years earlier, the judge from Tenerife had already resorted to the metric to sign a marriage separation act that is already the history of the judiciary: "It is appropriate to agree to the separation that Mr. Triana so implores, who does not really feel like supporting the tension, like Mrs. Sarmiento , who, not suffering a lesson, after her first stumble, persists in the same tone, and adducing abandonment, begs for a solution. " Already in the conclusions he changed register and, drawing on the prose, he ended: " I remember you, Amanda . And I must not forget you at the end of the sentence, whose first recipient must be you. Because you are small, because you are defenseless, and because you are not to blame for anything ... ". Pure poetic justice.

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