The beginning of relationships is usually a wonderful thing. We find ourselves (according to the self-help books, at least), we adjust our smile to that of our new partner and then we familiarize ourselves with things such as dopamine, dinner for two and the emojis and gifs that show our love for phone.

Time passes, the communion between the two settles and stabilizes, and everything flows to the cordial presentation in society of our affinity. First, normally, to close friends and colleagues, then, more ceremonially, to the family. This is what is supposed to happen, according to the flow of normative and common relations. But sometimes there may be some problems.

For example, stashing , a "trend" relatively freshly minted, but that carries with us as much as we can imagine. As lecturer and psychotherapist Mario Guerra explains to the medium Martha Debayle , "it is when a person deliberately conceals their love relationship from their social, work, family and social networks." In fact, the word stashing , first coined by the journalist Ellen Scott of Metro UK , literally means " hide " in Spanish.

Although we did not have the exact word at hand to refer to this type of social punishment , contempt or psychological abuse , we had already heard about it in our circle, sometimes frivolizing the subject and considering it as part of the "play in" partner". However, in the era of social networks, not being accepted and disseminated in the environment in which your partner shares everything important, can become painful, dangerously approaching the point of compromising the mood and mental health of those You need this type of validation.

Social networks compound the problem

Yes, strange times in which if your partner does not put you in his profile picture we are distressed and sorry. It is so, but whoever is completely free of that "illusion" when he is blindly in love and, a priori, reciprocated, who throws the first stone.

After all, as psychologist Jo Hemmings told the Daily Mail who makes you stashing "it could be someone who doesn't think of you with a long-term perspective," or even worse, "doesn't think you're special enough to introduce yourself to your circle of friends. " And that, we have the self-esteem that we have, at least sting.

The psychologist specialized in sex Fernando Villadangos believes that the issue is due to a question of social status that can scratch the objectification : "Many people treat others as a consumer product. Just as you like to have a brick of spare milk there is people who collect relationships without emotionally compromising. They show interest and use false seduction techniques to engage the other and never lack love. "

Stashing seems an ambiguous term. Even experts have trouble cataloging real cases, since not all individuals behave equally in a relationship, nor in society. So you have to go slowly, common sense, and open the topic of conversation without ambiguity when the time comes.

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