It's been a while since I told you at this point about my and my wife's efforts to acquire the license to play golf, i.e. permission to push a cart full of clubs across the sacred lawn of the local golf club and every now and then trying to hit a small ball into a slightly larger hole.

Our efforts were only successful on the second attempt, because the Scottish pro was of the opinion at the end of our first attempt that the cart pushing was impressive, but that the precision of our shots did not quite meet the requirements.

This impression may have been reinforced in one scene when a friend who was completing our course hit the ball so forcefully against a tree in front of her that the rebound came to a halt well behind her.

Old news.

At the second attempt we had the handicap in our pockets.

The pro was impressed by our quick wits, and the trees had no reason to complain this time either.

Sports washing!

Unfortunately, my hoped-for professional golf career came to a halt shortly after I had received my license to play.

Clubs and carts found a place in the basement and soon fell into oblivion.

Until a few days ago.

Until a message that changed everything.

I read that the Saudis and their sheikh have started a golf tour.

With a lot of money they lure professionals away from the venerable PGA Tour.

What does that have to do with me?

Well, there are a lot of bucks to be made on the Sheikh Tour, which suits my pro ambitions.

In addition, the demands are not too high.

The renegades, I read, are almost all players who haven't won anything in a long time.

And what can I say, I'm one of them, I've never even won anything.

The Saudis want to spend two billion dollars on their tour by 2025.

Even Martin Kaymer from Mettmann, who hasn't won a tournament for as long as anyone can remember, has already collected around a million for three appearances on the Scheich Tour.

This series, you will agree, is tailor-made for me.

If I can't make the cut, I can do that too.

Now I hear a few smart guys calling: Sportswashing!

Once I sign for the tour, I'll help the Saudis clean up their state's battered reputation.

But I know what I have to answer: You have to keep talking, you have to take small steps, short blows, then human rights will work out.

It's gotten a lot better over the last few years.

As far as is known, the Saudi sheikh has not had a single critic massacred since Khashoggi in 2018, at least not in Istanbul.