- Doctors who work with incurable patients often talk about the stages of psychological experience of the disease: shock, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This, in its own way, is typical for an athlete who has fallen into disqualification and does not have the opportunity to challenge it, as it was with you after the first two-year suspension. What is happening now, when you were removed from performances for the second time, is it still painful, or is it just perceived as a fact of your biography?
- When I was disqualified for the first time, I really went through all the stages that you mentioned.
Now I understand: no one is insured against this in sports.
And no one is interested in really understanding what is happening.
For example, am I being attributed violations based on a single sample?
Let's admit.
But two days later I take a sample again - and there is nothing there.
Why?
If there is a suspicion that the athlete is dishonest, why not look at the neighboring samples and, if they are clean, then why at least not doubt the correctness of the punishment?
- The RBU dealt with your first disqualification. At the same time, you were not even informed about the progress of the investigation, and, in fact, everything was released on the brakes.
- I still do not have complete information on the first case.
I didn’t agree with that, in my opinion, disqualification, but I honestly left it, honestly returned to the sport, and all my samples after that were clean.
All this time I was living with the dream of returning, dreamed of performing at the Games in Beijing, although, of course, I heard behind my back that they would not let me go to the Olympics.
Now I'm collecting information on a new charge.
I want to take over everything myself, and bring the matter to the end.
For me, it is fundamental to defend my name in this situation.
- Not so long ago, your husband made it clear in an interview that, in his opinion, government agencies should somehow participate in this trial. Does it ever occur to you that you might not be needed by anyone with your current problems?
- I admit that.
Therefore, I do not count on anyone but myself.
They will help - well, but it is better to rely on your own strengths and capabilities.
- Financial - including?
- We turned to foreign lawyers and we were given an amount of 100 thousand Swiss francs, which could result in legal support and all kinds of courts.
And I understand that this amount can grow.
This is a lot of money for our family.
The current system of accusing and punishing athletes is monstrous because you do not have the resources to fight WADA and international federations.
I am ready to take out a loan to pay for the work of lawyers, to make an advance.
My husband and I are ready to move on - to sell a car, an apartment - but defend my innocence.
We have now asked for a two-month grace period in order to collect the full package of documents and thoroughly understand what the charge is based on.
In particular, we have asked the IBU for all the information that is available on the samples I am charged with.
The notifications that were sent to me before are clearly not enough to start doing something.
But I cannot say for sure how quickly the IBU will respond to a request.
- All the time that the proceedings are going on, are you allowed to train?
- I should not appear at the sports centers of federal centers and tracks where national teams work.
But that doesn't pose a big problem.
I train as I'm used to, I plan training camps where possible, so that there is both snow and height.
So that one such collection could kill two birds with one stone, as they say.
- Do you already have the opportunity to train on the snow in Barnaul?
- There will be no problems with skis, I will find a place for snow collection.
- And how do you compensate for the inability to shoot from a rifle at targets?
- For me, shooting is more of a psychology.
Therefore, I do not see a problem that for some time I will do without shooting.
In this regard, I was never afraid to be left without practice for a while.
I always knew what to work on and how, how to correct mistakes if the shooting did not add up.
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Posted by Glazyrina Katya (@katya_glaz) 10 Sep 2020 8:56 am PDT
- After disqualification in February 2017, did you have the slightest doubts about whether to continue your career or end up with the sport?
- Sure.
I then returned after the decree, that is, a forced, but at the same time pleasant pause.
When the disqualification was announced, the first thought was that I still want to run and will definitely come back again.
I continued to train, but psychologically certain difficulties arose from time to time.
I ran along the track and thought: “Why am I doing this?
Who needs all this at all? "
- Did you find the answer?
- My family supported me very much then.
In addition, I still did not leave the regional team, but the national team.
That is, I had an idea of how they run at the World Cup, I could compare myself with those who compete there.
Therefore, I returned.
I knew that I could perform at a high level.
- Is it true that after the birth of a child, a woman begins to train and perform in a completely different way?
- In my case, yes.
You approach everything more consciously.
I used to train with someone all the time.
Either in the regional team or in the national team.
There is a general plan, everyone fulfills it.
You were told - you do.
What for?
As a team, you don't think about such things at all.
But in order to understand yourself, the body probably needs to work alone for some time, learn to feel what kind of training is needed and what is unnecessary.
Now, performing certain loads, I know what I will get at the end.
Accordingly, I can more consciously and competently build preparation not only for winter, but also during the season.
- What is your goal now, taking into account age, uncertainty due to repeated suspension and a long period without competition. Do you think about it sometimes?
- Sure.
I always said: I come back in order to perform at a high level.
- So I'm trying to understand what exactly you consider a high level. Break into the national team? Go to the World Cup? Win a relay medal?
- I would like a personal one too.
There is the World Cup, there are the World Championships, which in my case are even more priority than the Olympics.
Now the situation is such that participation in the Games does not depend on us at all.
It is not clear: they will invite, not invite ... To be honest, of course I really want to get to the Games.
And not just for the sake of participation.
- Where, in your understanding, lies that age limit, after which, no matter how hard you try, you won’t get better?
- I never thought about that.
When I tell myself that I can’t do it anymore, then I will have to stop.
I think if you are not tired, then in vain went to training.
Likewise, those who are much younger get tired.
That is, to say that I somehow feel my age is not yet ready.
I don't feel it.
In theory, I should probably need more time to recover, but even in this aspect I don't see much difference between myself and very young girls.
- I know that Mikhail Shashilov, who headed the women's team this season, was counting on you very much.
- I felt it.
I remember we worked in Izhevsk, at the first training camp, we had a hard and long training session - imitation.
I don't remember what exactly Mikhail Viktorovich said literally, but the point was that we need to cope with this training in order to be in the top ten at the World Cup, or in the top three in the relay.
This understanding that we are doing this and that in order to be there, constantly motivated us, did not allow us to stop.
In the same way, I have always felt the support of Wolfgang Pichler when we worked together.
He constantly repeated to me in English: "I believe in you."
At first I did not understand: why tell the athlete about this?
It seems like we train - and we train.
But when it got really hard, these words were remembered, gave strength.
I think that Pichler understood this.
He always knew how to find exactly the words that he wanted to hear.
- But, having started working with Pichler, you got used to the fact that the loads can be completely different for a long time.
- The first impression was, of course, shocking - the difference turned out to be too big with the way we trained before Wolfgang joined the team.
With his appearance, absolutely everything has changed.
I think that we did a little bit with the volumes.
Plus, it was necessary to contact more in terms of dialogue.
But I understand that now.
And then she reasoned like everyone else: the task was given two hours at a certain intensity to skate on rollers - you take it literally.
Without any indulgences.
- So, it didn't even occur to you that you can discuss something with the coach?
- There were several moments when I realized that if I did the whole workout now, I wouldn't get up at all tomorrow.
I even quarreled with Pichler about this, and he, in turn, threatened to send me home from the training camp.
But one day he came to my room and said: you did such a good workout yesterday, let's just go for a ride today without load ... I was very surprised by this.
- Is it more comfortable for you to constantly be in contact with a coach, or when no one distracts from work?
- When you train alone, it is more difficult to force yourself to carry out the load.
It's easier in a team in this regard.
Firstly, sometimes I really want to talk with the coach about my condition, to consult.
Secondly, there is always someone to push you to.
While I worked with everyone in the national team, we also had a captain - Alexei Volkov.
As a link between us and the coaches.
- Can you imagine such a fast-paced coaching career?
- I still don't see myself as someone's mentor.
Although I always notice when some athlete does something wrong.
Sometimes I even want to give a hint, but every time I stop myself.
If there is a coach, why should I go somewhere with my thoughts?
- Whose plans are you training now?
- Plans are mainly written by the husband.
In a sense, this is a forced measure: the team is now at a high-altitude training camp in Sochi, and the girls have much more opportunities to conduct some kind of training than I have here.
But we are constantly in touch with Mikhail Viktorovich (Shashilov.
- RT
).
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Posted by Glazyrina Katya (@katya_glaz) Oct 20, 2018 10:46 am PDT
- What skis do you run now?
- On those that I had before disqualification.
Good skis are not easy to get somewhere.
This season I bought four pairs, but I only ran one in competition.
I didn't even run on some ones - there was no weather.
- Do you keep in touch with the girls who, like you, have suffered from doping charges?
- Just the other day I wanted to visit Olga Vilukhina when I drove past Novosibirsk, but it turned out that I was there at seven in the morning.
So I didn't bother.
But we communicate.
Olga is sitting at home, raising a child.
Everything is good with them.
- Before your own child, at least sometimes you have a feeling of guilt, because his grandmother is now forced to raise him, not his mother?
- Of course, my son gets less attention now, but I have no guilt.
While I was disqualified, we constantly took Anton with us - to trainings, to training camps, if it was not very far to go.
He got used to this way of life, he even said, it happened: "Mom, go to training!"
Now he began to train, he was sent to gymnastics.
It is unlikely that a skier will work out of him, but for artistic gymnastics, the physique is just right.
And very active.
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Posted by Glazyrina Katya (@katya_glaz) Apr 30, 2020 5:55 am PDT
- With what thoughts do you observe what is happening in the world biathlon?
- Not that I follow it very closely, but I try to keep abreast of the news.
- Does the uncertainty of your own position press hard?
- In a sense, training saves.
There I am completely disconnected.
All thoughts on how to make the technique more effective, what needs to be worked on more, what to pay attention to.
But it's still difficult.
As soon as there is at least a little free time, the same questions begin to spin in my head.
And I don't have an answer to them yet.