After a friendship that lasted about 7 years, teacher Shireen Mansour decided to end her relationship with her closest friend. It was not a matter of – as it seemed to others – a difference of opinion that led to a rupture, but only Shireen, 36, knew that she had lost her friend a long time ago, and not only for the reason that was obvious to everyone, so she did not obey the efforts of those who wanted the water to return to its course, saying, "We have changed and we are no longer friends as we were."
Many reasons led to the transformation of the friendship relationship between the two young women, despite the age difference between them, which allowed Shireen to take the position of a guide friend all the time, and often a savior, which increased her psychological burden, she would have been indispensable if not for what the bonds of that friendship forced her, but she says that she was severely traumatized by her friend when she told her that she practices the role of a mother.
Says Nader Atallah, psychiatrist, for Al Jazeera Net, that the impact of the end of friendship is similar to some of the impact of the end of emotional relationships, especially if repeated patterns of endings of different friendships more than once, one feels as if the error in it, and that everyone leaves it because it is not worthy of companionship or love, and this is a psychological trauma that some can not overcome.
Ending a friendship is not easy for the soul, as most of the time a person feels obligated to continue in the relationship despite his annoyance with it, no one determines what the parties to the friendship must receive in order to continue it.
If you feel overwhelmed after meeting your friend or the phone call between you becomes heavy, this is a sign that your friendship is strained (Shutterstock).
It seems easier in romantic relationships, there is a binding protocol for both parties, and if either of them ignores his duties towards the relationship, it becomes easy and clear to the other party, and he has to make the decision, but in friendship the signs seem clear; but the decision remains difficult for the parties or one of them, according to an article by relationship mentor Roxy Psy, published by Phychology Today.
Roxy says that the strength and durability of friendships affect human stress levels, physical health, general feelings of fatigue, and the way they cope with things, and just as there are positive effects of a good friendship, there are also many negative effects, especially when there are many fluctuations that can affect physical and mental health.
Roxy identifies a number of signs that indicate the need to end an abusive friendship, and if you discover these signs or some of them, do not hesitate to end the friendship because its continuation affects you negatively.
Signs of the end of friendship
Difference in core values
With a long time into a friendship relationship, the commonalities that led to it may change, and it is normal for your life to move over time in a different direction from your friend's, sometimes some friendships may survive these changes, and others end up diverging.
If you're the only party making an effort to maintain friendship, know that this relationship is in danger of breaking down (Pixels)
You are the sole defender of friendship
If you are the only party making an effort to maintain a friendship, know that this relationship is in danger of breaking down, because the success and continuation of any relationship requires effort from both parties.
In the meeting there is trouble and tiredness
If you feel overwhelmed after spending time with your friend, or the phone call between you becomes heavy and makes you feel drained in vain, this is a sign that you need to know the reasons.
Why am I here?
When a question arises inside you: Why am I here? Why does this relationship continue? When you can't find a good reason and the role this friendship plays in your life doesn't work, it's a sign that you should break up with that friend.
Failure to respect borders
Sometimes your friend expects to be with you wherever you're invited, jealous to spend time with other friends, or wants to integrate you into circles you don't like just because they're their favorite, all of which means not respecting the boundaries between you.
If your friend wants to integrate you into circles you don't like, this is a sign of not respecting the boundaries between you (Shutterstock).
Hide the details of your life from him
Each of us has his own life and secrets that he does not reveal, but your constant attempts to appear as a human being different from your real personality, and hide some secrets to look perfect, perhaps for fear of his judgment over you, or that you do not feel safe enough to share details with him, or perhaps because you feel that your friend carries some jealousy of details specific to your life, it means that your relationship is not safe enough to be described as friendship. A friend guides you if you get lost without judging or stigmatizing you wrongly.
How do bad friendships affect you?
Psychiatrist Janet Berto points out in an article on Healthline that bad friendships have a significant impact on personal well-being, producing negative emotions.
Bad friends often use roundabout ways in their relationship with you, such as making them always a victim, and you start to feel let down, and that relationship may come at the expense of your other relationships.
In her article, Berto points out that dealing with bad friendships does not mean cutting them off from the beginning, but you can be given another chance to strengthen them, but it is necessary to be clear and decisive.
If friendship does not have positive benefits for you, giving it more opportunities will be a waste of time, and she stresses that opening up to other relationships, and filling your time with new and useful ideas will help you get through that stage.