When men are the victims

UNDER REGISTRATION

• MAITE RICO

Updated Friday,26May2023-15:44

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Rafael, Daniel, Carlos, Sergio, Pedro, Alejandro, José Manuel and Francesco know what it is like to be dead in life. Some of them still are. In the process of separation, their ex-partners falsely accused them of gender violence and the worst of aberrations: sexually abusing their own children. They were beaten by the media, repudiated at work, excluded from their environment and unassisted by justice and the police. And most devastating: they lost contact with them for years.

n the kids. Not even the fact that the courts have finally given them the reason guarantees that they can rebuild their lives. The destruction has been profound.

They are also victims of sexist violence. Or rather, "of a binary thinking that cannot accept that there are good men and women who are not so good." He says it.

Quico Alsedo (Oviedo, 1976), journalist of EL MUNDO

Specialized in investigation and courts, which has dived for six years in the viscous universe of false accusations and the kidnapping of children and has just published

Some good men

(The Sphere of Books), a chronicle with a frenetic rhythm of

.

The eight cases that the book reconstructs are just the sample of a much broader casuistry, and that reflects a very serious dysfunction: how a law, that of

, inspired by the noble purpose of protecting women, becomes

, condemning to defenselessness not only parents, but, above all, minors.

To open the book is to immerse oneself in some shocking facts, which lead one to wonder how they can happen in a European country with a minimally solvent judicial system.

, to which the political class, the media and certain health professionals and the judiciary contribute.

Modestly, I want to intervene in that divisive dynamic. I don't identify with extreme positions. The book is not ideological at all, but I try to claim some moderation.

In 2021 they were reported in Spain

. The number is rising. "Child and half kidnapped a day," Alsedo writes. "There's a little problem there, isn't there?" There is. But whoever dares to point it out runs the risk of being accused of being "macho" or "facha". Alsedo is not suspected of either, but

. Why has it gone ahead? "Because it is my obligation and because, modestly, I want to intervene in that divisive dynamic. I don't identify with extreme positions. The book is not ideological at all, but I try to claim some moderation. Get out of the trenches, let the facts speak and let everyone judge."

Alsedo, in fact, does journalism

: contrasted data, testimonies, sentences. But he cannot avoid capturing his own evolution, from the initial skepticism (which led him, for example, to avoid Daniel, a colleague from the newspaper, when his ex denounced him) to the anxiety caused by the helplessness "of uncles who love their children, who are willing to do anything for them", to whom he is deprived of the presumption of innocence and to the "nobody pays a fucking attention".

Quico Alsedo, journalist of EL MUNDO and author of 'Some good men'.

Free Childhood

Two of the cases had a huge media echo: that of

, the woman from Maracena (Granada) who kidnapped her two children so as not to return them to the father, the Italian

, and

, who kept her son isolated, out of school, doping him with unnecessary medication and instilling in him the

divine" that his father,

, "It was the devil." All this while Podemos walked her through Congress as the new president of Infancia Libre,

.

Rivas and Sevilla were sentenced to prison and immediately pardoned by the same government that had elevated them to the saint of feminism. "Equality had been so involved that pardoning them was their way of covering up," says Alsedo.

The name of María Sevilla appears behind two other cases, that of Daniel and that of José Manuel, whose ex,

, has managed to flee to Switzerland with her twins. "The police tried to get the prosecutor's office to prosecute Infancia Libre as a criminal organization. They worked with organized crime tactics and were well advised," explains Alsedo. "The prosecution didn't want to go in there. In the end it becomes politics. But the police report is very well founded. They make a quadrant of 18 cases, all dismissed by the Justice, and in all of them there is the same lawyer, the same pediatrician, the same psychiatrist, who comes to prescribe antidepressants to two children under 10 years old. "

Children, real victims of the drama

What happens when children return to their parents after years of traumatic separation? "It's a very difficult puzzle to put together. We are talking about the disintegration of the affective soil that has to sustain a child in its growth," says Quico Alsedo.

. The journalist has spoken with Samuel, son of María Sevilla, who has turned 18 with Rafa, his father. The others are minors. "In 15 years I would like to make the book of what happened to these children, and what footprint he left on them"

Another common feature in the cases, and that is striking, is

. They lie, manipulate, have no empathy, subordinate the well-being of their children to their own interest, invent diseases and hypermedicate them. How is it possible that prosecutors and judges do not investigate the mental health of these women? Yes, the Italian coroner who determined that Juana Rivas was a danger to her children did. "The courts in Spain have a wild overload of work. And there is a social climate that also has a very important impact. That's how it is," Alsedo explains. "Of the eight cases in the book, the only one where serious expert work is done is that of Juana Rivas and Arcuri:

Over five months, they do family dynamics, talk to a lot of professionals and relatives. All God passes through there. That work is unthinkable in Spain. And I don't know if it's usual in Italy, because probably the Italian judge, seeing what had been set up here, decides to make goldsmithing so that the stall does not fall."

What have they been able to do a little pringado? Yes, and they tell you: 'I didn't see this coming'... But they are normal uncles.

Regarding men, it seems that some are perfect propitiatory victims for manipulative people... "Let's see, if we start to make a bar conversation, it is true that uncles are often temporizers, we prefer to look the other way and avoid the problem. But I have to say that

. What have they been able to do a little pringado? Yes, and they tell you: 'I didn't see this coming'... But they are normal uncles, who face someone who distorts and who also has in their hands something as precious as your son or daughter. You're afraid there, of course."

That ideological flags are on the sidelines of the issue is demonstrated by the fact that among them there are even

.

Judicial slowness

Everyone encounters the slowness of the procedures, which contrasts with the expeditiousness of the process when it is a woman who complains; with the apathy of police and judges...

"Judges have many possibilities to procrastinate the proceedings, to slow them down, to protect their position. And lawyers obviously know how to control timing, which is a basic thing, like in football and politics. Here a large part of the problems derive from the guaranteeism, which logically has to permeate all judicial activity. But of course, if that guarantee causes more harm than general benefit... As we know, delayed justice is not justice."

The Law on Gender Violence allows you to press a simple button that can only be accessed by women and justice dances to their rhythm

The

It is the same: when in a divorce process the father touches joint custody, it falls

. The man is charged and removed from the minor. Criminal proceedings are opened and the proceedings in the Family Court are paralyzed. It can take years for the case to close. By then, sometimes the mother has eloped with the children.

The devious use of the law is, unfortunately, prevalent.

. "When I started researching, cases started raining down on me. One after another. I have done a lot of journalism in court and when you talk to family lawyers they tell you with total simplicity that this is the order of the day." The law sets limits on the playing field, but then reality fills everything. It's like a gas. In these conflicts of family, of couples, everything and each one is used with their ethical and moral standards.

That brings us to the heart of our own.

, prepared by the

and approved unanimously in Congress in 2004, which has tied the justice system when it comes to curbing abuses. Quico Alsedo uses a very graphic image. "It allows you to press a simple button that only women can access and justice dances to their rhythm." Judges, prosecutors and police believe the law creates more problems than it solves in some cases. "I don't have a clear opinion. There are women who die from sexist violence. I don't see any harm in dealing with these situations, but I don't know how it should be done. I have a law degree, not a lawyer. I've had enough to tell what has been happening."

Social media is causing damage we can't imagine. They distort reality, the value of things. We live in

, each as advertisements for itself

The problem puts feminism before two paradoxes

. On the one hand, Alsedo points out, "feminism legitimately fights against gender roles, but so do these men. It's sad that it's countercultural to say they love their children." On the other, "by defending dishonest people who use the law in a spurious way, they do a disservice to women who suffer real abuse."

Role of the media

Reading the book reveals the nefarious role of opportunistic politicians, but also the enormous responsibility of some

with distance and critical sense, determined to defend causes and build myths, even if that means silencing testimonies and distorting reality. It is enough to recall the abracadabrante coverage of the case of Juana Rivas, in the midst of a kind of collective delirium. "Yes, absolutely. I remember being home that summer, watching the news and thinking: I don't understand this, I'm missing something here. I've been at this for over 22 years, and I think

. In the end we get infected by social dynamics, which today are crap, Everything is the one that screams the most. Social media is causing damage we can't imagine. They distort reality, the value of things. We live in

, each as advertisements for itself. And this simplification, also in journalism, comes from the absence of real debates, beyond 280 characters. Doubting is something that is outlawed."

Absence of debate and perhaps excess of cynicism. Like the one oozing from a television executive who rejects Alsedo's proposal to make a series about Francesco Arcuri with this sentence: "No matter what Arcuri is, the important thing is what they say he is." "The thing is, that's business realism. I understand that position in this person. I don't understand it in us journalists."

QUICO ALSEDO

SOME GOOD MEN

The Sphere of Books. 312 pages. 20.90 euros. Ebook: 9.99 euros.

You can buy it here

.