Revenge represents a special force of attraction within the popular imagination, and as a subject we find it present in ancient Greek masterpieces such as the Iliad, the Odyssey and the Oresteia, in addition to being the basis of many dramatic plots as many stories, films and novels revolve around it.
Perhaps that is why the recent song "Revenge" by Colombian singer Shakira has received such global acceptance.
Nothing is more famous than the song “Revenge” by Shakira, except for “Dress of Revenge” by Princess Diana, in addition to the songs released by Taylor Swift and Beyoncé about separation and betrayal.
Perhaps these women, and many others, are united by an unbridled desire to restore their dignity and avenge their dignity after feeling rejected by the former lover or husband.
But does women's desire for revenge betray irrationality and desperation?
Is men's revenge different?
Is women's revenge different from men's?
Revenge varies by gender. While men tend to retaliate or use physical means, women plan and think ahead, which can make their revenge more dangerous.
In general, men are more violent in their reactions than women, but when it comes to a woman's rejection by her husband or partner whom she has known for a long time, her behavior is violent and she has an urgent desire to avenge herself.
With regard to the difference in revenge behavior between men and women, according to Psychology Today, women feel that the violation of their trust is the root of betrayal, and trust includes oxytocin, a hormone made in the hypothalamus of the brain, which is involved in bonding. The relationship between mother and infant contributes to social bonding in general, and is a key component of the psychological experience of trust.
According to a 2014 study conducted at the University of Electronic Science and Technology in China, only women sought revenge after losing trust and feeling betrayed, and men did not.
The study authors concluded that this was because women had generally higher levels of oxytocin than men.
The desire for revenge
For its part, the British newspaper "The Telegraph" reported that research revealed that people seek revenge when they are subjected to a breach of trust, and that this is reflected in increased activity in areas associated with reward in the brain.
That is, revenge revolves around the desire and the search for satisfaction and getting rid of bad feelings, and the researchers found that those who are subjected to a breach of trust are willing to bear the personal loss in order to take revenge.
Research has revealed that people want revenge when they experience a breach of trust (Pixels).
Does revenge make you feel victorious?
It might be if your song is making a multi-million dollar fortune like Shakira's last, but does applying that kind of "justice" make an avenger feel any better?
Fayed Eddah, from the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis, answers this question, saying, "We find people expressing positive and negative feelings about revenge, so that revenge is neither bitter nor sweet, but rather becomes both. We love revenge because we punish the violating party and we hate that." Because it reminds us of his original act."
While there is satisfaction in making a great fuss, in the words of George Herbert, the 17th-century poet, the best revenge is to live life well and be happy.
forms of revenge
Revenge takes some forms, such as:
Treating your partner badly and justifying this behavior because they have treated you badly for years.
Plotting or attempting to harm your partner physically or emotionally because of an affair.
Determined to keep children away from their father not because he is a danger, but because you make them pay for what he has done to you.
In the cases of Shakira and Princess Diana, what they did can be refuted as follows:
The song "Revenge" by Shakira
The public called Shakira, the Colombian pop star, the song "Revenge", due to the lyrics and timing of the song, which she released after her separation from Gerard Pique, the former soccer star in Spain, Barcelona and Manchester United.
According to the British newspaper "The Telegraph", Shakira posted a message to her 80 million followers on Instagram, describing her song as a healing and a hymn to all other women who suffer from separation.
She further wrote "I want to embrace the millions of women who are rising up against those who make us feel unimportant. Women who stand up for what they feel and think and raise their hands when they don't agree."
Describing her song as not an achievement for her, but an achievement for all women.
And that women should move forward in the way that suits them and not in the way that society dictates to them, "the way that helps us move forward for our children and our parents and for those who need us and put their hope in us."
The audience released the "Song of Revenge" because of its timing and words released by Shakira after her separation from Pique (communication sites)
Princess Diana's revenge dress
As for Diana's revenge dress, according to the American "CNN" website, although the Princess of Wales was a symbol of elegance, her appearance did not make a fuss like that of her "revenge dress" as the royal analysts called it. that time.
In June 1994, Diana went out to a party in London in a black off-the-shoulder dress with a chiffon train swaying in the wind.
This appearance was not usual for a member of the British royal family.
The late princess wore this sexy dress on the same night that her husband (Prince Charles), the current British king, admitted on national television that he was loyal to her until the relationship collapsed irrevocably, confirming rumors of his relationship with his current wife, Camilla Parker.
It was personally upsetting for Diana, not only to hear it from him but because the whole world now knew her husband had indeed betrayed her.
After being betrayed, Diana decided to wear a remarkable dress that she had refused before because it was inconsistent with the royal rules (Getty Images)
Perhaps here Diana should have avoided the cameras, kept a low profile and let the storm pass, but that is not what the Duchess of Wales chose.
She kept her scheduled appearance at the ceremony, even though she knew the eyes of the whole world would be on her.
She didn't have to defend herself with words, her reaction came through what she wore, and the dress she wore that night became her unmistakable message to Charles and the world.
According to People, Diana changed her dress plan for the night.
And at the last moment, she changed into her famous black dress by designer Christina Stambolian, which had been in her wardrobe for the past 3 years, but she considered it revealing and inappropriate.
Experts say that Diana decided to resist, and that she would choose a dress that she had previously rejected as being somewhat exaggerated and wear it and go out into the world.
Better avoid revenge
The Very Well Mind website states that focusing on your mental health is better than getting revenge, and one study found that respondents who engaged in various types of revenge against their partners experienced anger, anxiety, and remorse.
Thus, no matter how good you feel after taking revenge, these feelings usually turn into shame, remorse, sadness, and guilt.
So it is best to please yourself as much as possible by doing other things, for happiness is the best and most productive revenge.