Psychologists: The ranking of your siblings affects your personality type

Joking is common about the arrangement of the brothers and their connection to their personalities;

The privilege and tyranny of the older brother, the oppression of the middle, and the coddling of the youngest.

Is there any truth in this farce?

Is it possible that your position among your siblings affects your personality?

How not, when the position of the psychologist "Alfred Adler" as a second son, who hopes that he has the favor of his older brother with his parents, is enough to enrich his person and motivate him to put forward his most famous theories.

On the outskirts of Vienna, after the birth of "Adler" in 1870 and the succession of years, reaching four years and recovering from rickets and pneumonia, he decided that he must become a doctor, so that he might be immunized from disease (1).

At that time, he had developed a habit of looking up to his older brother (Sigmund) and making constant, hidden comparisons between them, because of his feelings of inferiority and jealousy;

While he was lying ill in his early years, his brother was in good health and playing around.

In his writings, he describes a day with his family on the beach: "He could run, jump, and move around effortlessly. As for me, any movement would tire me."

This comparison extended to his future career, as he lived with the old psychotherapist "Sigmund Freud", who gained fame that made a number of his successors fall in his shadow, so Adler was sometimes compared to Freud despite his public disagreement with him in some of his theories and his founding of the Society for Individual Psychology. (2).

Adler believed that all human behavior is driven by an unbridled desire for superiority that is driven by feelings of inferiority or inferiority.

We all have some of those feelings related to the social or psychological aspect.

In his theory, Adler tells us that the social and societal aspects of a person's life are as important as his inner thoughts and emotions. Adler's interest extends to child development and birth order theory.

Sigmund Freud (networking sites)

Yes, there are many factors that can contribute to a child's personality, such as economic status, family structure, adoption, mental or physical damage, etc. Most psychologists agree with Adler that children have their own unique personality traits depending on their birth order.

Adler's theory of birth order states that the position of the individual in his family will affect his life and the development of his personality, which was embraced by many psychologists, such as the psychiatrist "Kevin Lehman" who has studied birth order since 1967 and authored the book "Birth Order: Why You Are What You Are" On it”, and he emphasized that the secret of personal differences between siblings lies in the order of birth and how parents deal with their children differently based on whether they are the eldest, middle, youngest or only child (3) (4).

And some researchers argued that this may also affect health, as their studies indicate that if you are older, your birth weight is likely to be less than the weight of your siblings.

Adler explains how family environments and dynamics play a role in child formation, even if families differ, because there are general similarities between parents' interactions with their children, as well as siblings among themselves.

Psychologist "Alfred Adler" (networking sites)

Adler mentioned the psychological birth order or your perceived position within your family as more important than the numerical order of birth which can sometimes be different, such as an average child but takes on the responsibilities of an older child due to a disability or the culture, vision and social background of the parents, in some cases cultures, even if a boy is born after four girls, he may still be treated as the eldest.

Adler notes that if the age difference in children exceeds three years, subgroups with different dynamics may form (5).

Most experts agree, but they add that the age gap is five years, and that twins often receive special attention from parents, so experts note that these rules do not necessarily apply to all groups, and that birth order, even if it helps shape personality, is not the factor. the only.

Many psychotherapists use this theory today, but is it scientifically based?

Here's a closer look at the truth and science behind birth order.

Let's take a closer look at Adler's birth theory and see what traits he believes can be linked to birth order.

Big brother

(Shutterstock)

Parents pay more attention to the older child, and they are more careful in everything related to his upbringing.

The child is apprehensive about the birth of his second brother, as he finds himself forced to share his parents' interest in the newborn.

And if the time difference between them is less than three years, he will not be able to understand what happened, and if it was explained to him repeatedly with words or concepts, then it becomes difficult for him to accept the situation, and he looks with hostility towards his younger brother for being the one who caused his dethronement.

The older child is usually obedient, discreet, orderly, conservative, limited in relationships, highly serious, dominant in social settings, prone to neurosis, or depression and anxiety arising from an unhealthy focus on human imperfections, or a mistaken belief in one's superiority. over anyone else (6).

Adler attributes this to the child losing the parents' undivided attention, and trying to compensate for this by working to win it back.

The parents place really high expectations on him and may even get a little stricter with him, demanding that he set an example and take responsibility for his younger siblings.

This child goes from being an only child to the oldest child, and he finds himself forced to learn how to share.

This is what causes the child to turn towards an authoritarian and strict approach, in which he feels responsible for the other siblings, and then feels in control.

This child tends to grow up to be a leader and follow the rules, but he also appears to have a bossy attitude.

Those leadership skills may make him a pioneer in his work.

In the mid-1990s, the American psychologist Frank J. Sulawy combed the history books in search of prominent figures from the first-born and the rebels who were born later. He saw among the late-born thinkers and revolutionaries such as Charles Darwin, Karl Marx and Mahatma Gandhi.

Among the firstborn, he discovered leaders such as Joseph Stalin and Benito Mussolini.

The older brother often experiences a strong fear of failure. He seeks perfectionism, idealism, and a tendency to excel. Because he is afraid of making a slip, he is inflexible and does not like change, so he hesitates to get out of his comfort zone.

He also tends to complete his education with a higher degree and choose more traditional professions, such as medicine or engineering.

In his efforts to please others.

middle brother

(Shutterstock)

The second-born finds that the eldest son receives the attention of his parents, and he feels neglected, excluded, unloved, and that life is unfair. Not only does he lose his status as the younger child, but he does not have the rights and responsibilities of an older sibling or the privileges of a younger one.

He looks at his older brother as a role model, trying to keep up with him and compete with him to attract attention to him, and because he feels the need to prove his self-worth, he fights for importance and privilege, and this tendency often lasts in his career by working harder than those around him to be the best, but he may set unrealistic goals for himself , leading him to ultimate failure.

This may lead to neuroticism later in life.

Research in the Journal of Human Resources in 2016 found that parents don't actually provide later-born children with the same cognitive support they do for their first-born.

In the same context, the middle son is cooperative, flexible, seeks to please those around him, and has the ability to compromise, even if he refuses to be equal with his younger brothers, which made psychologists describe him as a dove of peace (7) (8).

He also enjoys negotiating and haggling and most likely communicates with people of all ages easily.

All of this causes the child to develop a very black and white attitude which makes him impatient, the most poised and rebellious all at once and probably the most independent of his siblings.

little brother

The last child receives excessive care from his parents, as most of his older brothers have reached different stages of development in life, and are no longer dependent on their parents for everything.

In many cases, the rest of the family members show responsibility towards the youngest, which leads to this child wanting to grow faster and have more control over his life, and to become more independent (9).

But that care may spoil the youngest child, even if he enjoyed freedoms that his older siblings did not enjoy.

The younger child is likely to be hostile to the older siblings, and the younger brother may develop his own ways of getting attention. Celebrities are the youngest in their family.

Therefore, we find the youngest child mostly fun-loving and attention-grabbing, and we may feel that the youngest child is too selfish, usually adventurous and risky, and the first free-spirited children may be more open to unconventional experiences and physical risks than their siblings.

only child

The fourth category described by Adler is the only child defined as having no siblings.

Due to the lack of sibling rivals, he enjoys the full attention of his parents throughout their upbringing and is often coddled. This can lead to feelings of entitlement and dependency even when outside the family.

However, some of these children may just feel suffocated by the attention from their families and seek independence and autonomy (10)

What do studies tell us about birth order and its relationship to personality?

(Shutterstock)

Many early studies challenge the validity and accuracy of this theory, due to a systematic defect such as family size, as their size is related to several social factors such as race, education, and wealth.

Studies show that more affluent and highly educated parents have fewer children, which means that children who grow up in comfortable or luxurious environments are more likely to adopt the characteristics of the eldest son (this is cited as two homes for two children versus a home for five children: in the first, the child has 50 % of being first-born; per second, the child has a 20% chance of being first-born)

Despite these uncertainties, some recent studies that have come under scrutiny have been supportive of the birth order theory on a biological level.

For example, a 2007 study in Norway showed that the IQ of first-born children is two to three points higher than that of the next-born.

Another study in 2009 demonstrated that "birth order influences our choices for friends and partners. The eldest is more likely to be associated with the first-born, the middle-born with the middle-born, and the last-born with the last-born."

Which means that there are personal factors that play a significant role in their lives (11) (12).

Other recent analyzes of these studies found that birth order may have some effect on child development, although not as profound as the theory claims. Evidence for this is the conclusion of a 2015 research review that firstborn children actually have higher levels of intelligence than children in arranged settings. other birth.

But the researchers found no differences between firstborn and non-firstborn children in terms of broader personality traits such as extraversion, emotional stability, or imagination.

(Shutterstock)

It is clear that the issue of birth order overlaps with survival cultural and biological factors, related to parents' fears for the only child or the eldest child, and so on. A previous study showed that, compared to later births, the likelihood of firstborns participating in dangerous sports is lower due to fears of physical injury.

A 1980 study of 170 females and 142 college students showed lower levels of anxiety and higher ego in firstborn children, as measured by the Howarth Personality Questionnaire.

Sometimes, however, these investigations used questionable methods.

For example, the members of the same family were asked to rate themselves in terms of extraversion, openness to experiences, discipline, tolerance, and neuroticism (13).

But these surveys were conducted simultaneously and only one person judged his personality and that of his siblings.

This detail is important because the perception of oneself and the perception of others can sometimes differ greatly.

Whatever your arrangement in the family, and regardless of the accuracy of the descriptions that studies show about your case, we find that the general agreement among researchers lies in the privacy of each of the families, and therefore it would be interesting to note the effect of your arrangement among your siblings on the formation of your personality through your understanding of the personality of your parents. Then you notice how they deal with the older or younger brother or with you personally based on their fears and expectations, and then you will begin to deepen your understanding of yourself and your family problems, if any.

In conclusion, remember that this is a space to help yourself and your family overcome problems, not to fabricate them, exaggerate them, or make arbitrary accusations.

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