80% of them leave their homes and look for other partners 

"Community Development" warns against neglecting the assistance of male victims of domestic violence

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The Ministry of Community Development has warned against neglecting the treatment of male victims of domestic violence, and not providing them with psychological support in a timely manner, stressing that men are also victims of domestic violence, and do not seek support because their image in the family does not collapse, stressing that there is a misconception and a widespread stereotype that says that Men are always the aggressors and women are the victims.

While a psychologist confirmed that the abuser, that is, the person who abuses and abuses, always has a strong and intelligent personality, but he uses his personality and intelligence negatively, noting that violence directed at men by women is often not physical, but it is more severe, because it is psychologically and humanly harmful.

In detail, the Ministry of Community Development explained a set of facts related to domestic violence in the "Family Protection Guide", which "Emirates Today" reviewed an electronic version of, at a time when the Ministry did not respond to questions from the newspaper about statistics and consultations related to domestic violence problems provided by the Ministry.

The ministry stated in the guide that domestic violence is widespread among millions of people in the world, regardless of nationality, age, economic status, race, religion, ability or educational level, pointing out that widespread stereotypes that say that men are always the aggressors, and women are the victims, A mistaken belief, which is reinforced by the fact that men are less likely to seek help or report their mistreatment, and that many of them are unaware of the services provided to men. There is also a common belief that domestic violence programs serve women only.

For her part, the psychologist and family counselor, Fatima Sajwani, confirmed to «Emirates Today» that there are misconceptions about the meaning and forms of violence, which can happen to any member of the family, including men who are considered the source of strength and protection in the family, stressing that the results of the occurrence of Men are victims of domestic violence much more seriously than women are victims of violence, and 80% of these victims eventually leave the family and seek safety and stability with another partner.

She said that domestic violence occurs between people who have or had an intimate relationship, and that it may occur in any relationship, and may take many forms, including emotional, sexual, and physical abuse, as well as stalking and threats of abuse.

Sajwani explained that abusive relationships always involve an imbalance between power and control, adding that the abusive party in the marital relationship uses threats, offensive words and behavior to control the other party.

Sajwani explained that the aggressor, that is, the person who abuses and abuses, always has a strong and intelligent personality, but he uses his personality and intelligence negatively, as he harnesses them to harm and exploit the person who is subjected to violence, stressing that violence directed against a man by a woman is not usually physical. However, it is more severe because it is psychologically and humanly harmful, and it undermines a man's dignity, respect and personality in front of his children.

And she continued that the abused person, even if he is a man, is often a weak and isolated personality, or if it is not, then she is always a polite and courteous person, and he lived in a family environment with a good and sound upbringing, and he has morals of respect, and therefore it is not permissible for him to insult others. Verbally or physically, and this is what is exploited by the abuser, and the woman in this case takes advantage of this in the interest of practicing more violence and harm.

Sajwani summed up the man's reaction to being subjected to violence, and his inability to exercise his role as a father, with three possibilities, either he leaves the house most of the time and abandons the life and affairs of the children and the family, and searches for another source of safety and psychological calm, because as a human being he cannot live without safety and humane treatment, especially He is often one of the sympathetic and loving personalities, and the second possibility is that he withdraws into the house and isolates himself, distancing himself from any friction in order to distance himself from quarrels and disputes, and often occupies himself with electronic devices and following social media.

And she continued that the third possibility is that he remains in a daily confrontation with the partner, and disputes that result in her interest, and she wins it so that the tension, anxiety and harm to him and his children continue, because they witness his insult and vulnerability, adding that this scenario often includes high levels of threat to the father by harming his children as well, Or by claiming to commit self-harm to exert more pressure, abuse, and moral violence against the man, as these characters are characterized by their ability to emotional blackmail, allegations, and the practice of forms of violence and abuse as a result of being subjected to violence in their childhood.

In response to a question about why the man in the previous scenario remains in the relationship and at home, Sajwani said that he usually bears all these pressures because he does not want to abandon and be away from his children.

She said that he does not realize the seriousness of his children's exposure to abuse as a result of their continued exposure to stress resulting from the mother's violence, and her insult to him and his falling victim to them in front of them, but he mistakenly believes that bearing him and not putting an end to that situation and merely staying in one house is in their interest, but that is not true And that the solution must be through resorting to family and psychological specialists, who can help him reach a solution according to the circumstances and situation of each family.

Few men ask for help

The psychologist and family counselor, Fatima Al-Sajwani, confirmed that, according to the experiences and cases that she dealt with through her work, the percentage of men who resort to seeking help and addressing the imbalance in their families as a result of the violence inflicted on them is very small, because the man believes that this is a defect in his right, and he is ashamed of Acknowledging the need for support.

She said that 80% of men who are subjected to domestic violence by women leave the house, and their relationship with the family often ends either with emotional divorce and what follows according to each case, or with actual and procedural divorce, and that in both cases, the man is looking for a natural partner who will provide him with kindness and affection, And be a source of security and psychological stability.

3 reactions of a man to his exposure to violence:

■ Leaving the house and looking for another partner who will be a source of affection and psychological security.

■ Isolation inside the house to avoid arguments and preoccupation with electronic devices.

■ Daily confrontation and disputes that cause permanent harm and tension for him and his children. 

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