At the beginning of children learning words, they pick up what they hear and repeat without knowing their meanings, and there may be some among them that should not be repeated, such as insults, racist words, and so on. At an older age, the child may use insults out of ignorance of what they mean, or to imitate his peers, or for other reasons.
Unfortunately, these swear words are used in society around us, and you cannot completely prevent your children from being exposed to them;
A study conducted by the American University of Illinois showed that by the age of eight, children recognize more than 50 forbidden words.
Therefore, you must know the reasons behind this behavior, and how to deal with it effectively.
Determine why
Try to notice the possible reasons why your child uses these words, here are some reasons:
Lack of skills:
Doctor and psychotherapist Amy Morin explained to the "Verywellfamily" website that children resort to insults sometimes because they lack communication skills with others, or anger management skills and impulse control, which must be focused on to solve the problem of inappropriate words.
Inability to express emotions:
If a child has not learned how to express their feelings in a healthy way, they may use insults when they are overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger or frustration, to express themselves.
Imitating others:
Jacqueline Sperling, a psychologist at Harvard University, told Harvard Health that "imitation is a big part of children's development," as they see and hear what others say around them and imitate them, or what they hear on television and video games.
An attempt to attract attention:
One of the most important reasons is to try to attract attention, especially when parents show great interest when the child utters these words.
Whether by exaggerating his river, or laughing at what he said.
He will almost certainly repeat what he said again.
Trying to break the rules:
Eugene Berezin, professor of psychiatry at Harvard University, explained that after a long day at school during which a child adheres to many rules, he may feel like breaking some rules, and of course, home is the safe place for that.
When your child curses, be calm and try not to give the unwanted behavior too much attention (Shutterstock)
In view of this, the important question arises: How can a child who uses insults in his conversations be dealt with?
Here, psychologists and educational experts recommend the following steps:
Discuss with him the difference in words
It is important to discuss with your child from an early age the words we use, and that everything we hear should not be repeated. There are some expressions that he may hear or read that can be harmful to others and cause them to feel pain.
Including insults or racist words and bullying.
Don't overreact
When your child throws insults, be calm, and try not to give unwanted behavior too much attention, as children pay attention to what draws attention to them, and often repeat behaviors that attract attention.
Therefore, it is preferable to ignore your child's behavior, especially young children who only repeat what they hear, and if he repeats the use of these words despite ignoring them, you can gently explain to him that these words are unacceptable and should not be used.
Ask him why
Ask your child why he used insults, how he felt when he decided to utter these inappropriate words, and whether he was angry or frustrated or did not mean it.
Explore the underlying feelings
It is helpful to gently explore what your child is trying to say when he curses, and what feelings are behind this behavior.
Next, help him name what he's feeling and how he might express himself. Reassure him that all feelings are okay, but you should pay attention to his behavior.
It is okay for him to feel angry, but it is not acceptable to curse when he is angry.
The impact of his words can be discussed by asking him: What do you think the other person felt when he heard that word from you?
How would you feel if someone else said those words to you?” This helps build empathy in the child and reflect on the impact of their words.
Explain the consequences
If swearing becomes a problem you have with your children, rather than just repeating words they don't understand, it may help to explain the consequences of continuing to swear.
One of the effective means to reduce insults is the "insult fund", as parents agree with their children that any person who utters an inappropriate word will put a specified amount of money from his expenses in this fund.
Don't forget the reward
You can encourage your child by rewarding him for using appropriate language at times when he was swearing, such as when he is angry or when he is exposed to an upsetting situation.
And focus on making the biggest goal during disciplining your child is to teach him that his language affects others, and we must focus on our words at all times.
Parents should set an example for their children in avoiding swearing (Shutterstock)
Set an example
If a parent swears jokingly or when angry, it is likely that the child will repeat the same behavior. It is useless to tell your child that “these are adult words, and children should not repeat them.” Children want to be like adults;
So they imitate what they do anyway.
Therefore, parents must set an example for their children in avoiding swearing, managing feelings of anger, and expressing feelings without insulting.
And when your child or his father argues with you that you use insults, admit that this is wrong behavior, and ask him to warn you if you do so, and when he warns you, apologize for your behavior and thank him for reminding you.
And if the child witnesses another adult insulting, mental health counselor Christine Souza suggests ignoring the situation and not drawing the child’s attention to it, and if he interacts with the situation, you can discuss what happened with him, and what is the best way to act in such a situation.
Dr. Berezin stressed the need to teach the child the impact of his words, and said, "This is a very important and necessary point for his future, as there are those who lose their jobs because of slips of the tongue and their behavior, and the earlier we start teaching them this, the more it will serve as a cornerstone for their future."