Condolence card, outfit, flowers... The good reflexes to have during a funeral

Alexandre Dalifard 7:03 p.m., November 01, 2022

During a funeral, it is never very easy to know what to do with the family and loved ones of the victim.

For this, the columnist Jérémy Côme, guest of the program

, presents some advice to avoid blunders during this moment of mourning.

What to send?

What expressions should be avoided?

What to wear during the burial?

Which flowers to choose?

So many questions that it is possible to ask in such circumstances.

Call, email, card: what to choose

In 2022, depending on the proximity to the deceased or his family, several media can be used to present condolences.

Care must be taken to choose well, as some may be perceived as clumsy.

For people close to the entourage of the deceased, the phone call is welcome.

Having a personalized note in person will be appreciated by the family and will confirm that the friendship is "real".

The email, meanwhile, will be used when it concerns a colleague or an acquaintance.

It is still necessary to adapt its support according to the deceased.

If it concerns an elderly person, the mail will often be preferred.

This medium remains the traditional sending of condolences.

This consists of sending a card with a word of support to loved ones.

Only, it is important to choose your turns of phrase well in order to avoid clumsiness.

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stay merry

When presenting support to the family, several words should be avoided such as "sorrow", "sorrow" and even "condolence".

Those close to the deceased are already grieving, so adding to it can be misunderstood.

It is better to recall a memory, an anecdote lived with the person, a joyful moment.

When expressing condolences, the provision of good humor is often preferred.

By wanting to be benevolent, it is possible to make mistakes.

This is the case when the person tries to put themselves in the place of the loved ones who are grieving.

To substitute oneself for the pain of the other is therefore clumsy and frowned upon.

It is the mourners who should be in the middle of the words of condolence, not the person offering them.

We must therefore avoid expressing our own suffering.

Instead, talking about the future, hope, and striving to be positive comes with a beautiful intention.

However, the situation should not be trivialized because the relatives are living a real drama.

The writing of condolences therefore responds to certain moral and social codes that should be respected.

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Don't show off

Dress codes are also very important.

At a burial, dark rather than light colors are preferred, unless requested by the family.

If men decide to put on a tie, black is the most suitable.

For women, dresses that are too short and too low-cut as well as jewelry are to be avoided.

The goal is to remain discreet and not to show off.

Regarding the flowers, it is important to respect the color of these when the family indicates it in the funeral notice.

For children's funerals, pale, white flowers are appreciated.

Another example, if it is a mature man, roses or chrysanthemums are preferred.

Then, at certain times, families may stipulate not to provide flowers.

In this case, it is important to respect their choice.