• A contraction of the English terms “fight” (“dispute”) and “texting” (“sending messages”), “fexting” refers to the fact of yelling at each other or settling one's conflicts by text or SMS interposed.

  • If it is acclaimed by many couples, for whom yelling over SMS has become a habit, “fexting” can have harmful effects.

  • “Texting is a good channel for defusing a situation or reconnecting after a conflict, but never for settling a dispute.

    On the contrary, it is the best way to pursue misunderstandings, ”explains Morgane Catoire, therapist specializing in marital relations.

In the all-digital era, SMS have taken a considerable place in our daily lives.

After the emergence of

sexting

[sending a message or photo of a sexual nature],

fexting

now seems to be gaining more and more followers.

Contraction of the English terms “fight” (“dispute”) and “texting” (“send messages”), this new practice designates the fact of yelling at each other or settling its conflicts by text messages or SMS interposed.

It was the American presidential couple who popularized the expression last spring.

In an interview with

Harper's Bazaar magazine

, the wife of the American president, Jill Biden, confided that with her husband, she regularly practiced "fexting".

A way to avoid getting angry and arguing in public, especially in front of the secret services, and especially not to disclose confidential information.

“A habit” for many couples

Without even knowing it, a large majority of couples – and friends – today practice

fexting

.

“When you argue over text, the distance may make you feel less oppressed.

We have time to formulate our words, and to better understand what makes us angry.

When we text, we don't have the pressure of having to resolve a conflict immediately.

It allows you to give yourself a little time, a little perspective, ”explains

Morgane Catoire, therapist specializing in marital relations , to

20 Minutes .

Fexting is

especially

a technique very appreciated by people who are introverted or who have difficulty expressing their emotions face-to-face.

“Some have trouble expressing how they feel, so writing things down can help them express themselves more honestly and clearly,” said Judith Aronowitz, a therapist in New York, interviewed. by the

Huffpost

.

"With texting, my clients say they have the ability to maintain a level of connection while still having the space to express themselves thoughtfully."

"Solving a problem by SMS is the best way to pursue misunderstandings"

If it is acclaimed by many couples, for whom yelling by SMS has become a habit,

fexting

does not only have advantages, quite the contrary.

“Text messages sent in the heat of the moment can result in hurtful comments that you don't really mean and might never say face-to-face.

In writing, some words can be misunderstood.

Certain terms - such as "trust" and "respect" - can be subject to multiple interpretations.

And there, it is very difficult to readjust his remarks, ”explains the Parisian therapist.

“Texting is a good channel for defusing a situation or reconnecting after a conflict, but never for settling a dispute.

On the contrary, it is the best way to pursue misunderstandings.

There is no guarantee that the other has heard the message that we wanted to convey,” adds Morgane Catoire.

The “fexting” method can indeed have harmful effects.

“It can be potentially devastating.

I've had lifelong relationships and friendships that ended with a hastily written, angry text message,” psychotherapist Hannah Martin told Britain's

Glamor

magazine .

So why is

fexting

so popular?

For some, it is a way of not directly confronting the person concerned: "It's a blanket you can hide behind, so that you don't see someone getting physically angry or in distress", estimates the psychologist Jo Hemmings with

Guardian

.

By the Web

Why do some men send "dick pic", photos of their penis?

high tech

“Sexto” becomes an official legal term in France

  • SMS

  • Message

  • Couple

  • Communication

  • smartphone

  • By the Web