Is it different from usual? August 24, 22:23 to notice the child's abnormalities after summer vacation
"Teacher doesn't know anything... Oh, I hate school anymore..."
"Life is getting tough... I need your help..." It's the
end of August, the time when the new semester begins.
There are many children who complain of mental and physical disorders over small things.
Would you like to think together about how to notice the children's feelings and how to talk to them to lighten their hearts?
* There is a list of consultation desks at the end of the article
(Network Press Department, Chuya Sugimoto, Akiko Shimizu, Momoyo Imai, Good Morning Japan, Saki Yamauchi)
Summer vacation homework, in the voice of the principal...
The staff room of a junior high school just before the new semester.
There was a lot of exchanges between teachers about homework.
"What do you do with students who don't give homework?" "
Would
you like to gather them in an empty classroom during lunch break
?
"
"Students will be coming to school tomorrow. I'm begging you one thing. Don't blame the children who can't finish their homework. I can understand the anger of the teachers. Wouldn't it be enough if you just came in good spirits?"
Early in the second semester, the instructions were careful not to make the children and teachers feel bad about each other.
This episode was told by a man in his 30s living in the Kanto region, Nobu-san, who was a former junior high school teacher.
When I tweeted this, it received nearly 80,000 “likes” and received a great response.
In response to Nobu's tweet,
there were many praises such as "It
would be nice if there were teachers like this",
"Even adults don't want to go to work after the holidays" , and
"A perfect score of 100 just for being here" .
.
On the other hand, there was also an opinion that it is important to keep the deadline.
Ms. Nobu thinks that even if she praises and evaluates the children who submitted by the due date, she doesn't have to dare to drive the children who didn't submit.
Nobu-san
, giving out homework should not be the goal, and blaming teachers and parents for the sake of learning is counterproductive.
In particular, many children do not want to go to school after summer vacation, and there are children for various reasons.
If school becomes difficult because of homework, it is putting the cart before the horse.
"I don't feel like going, I'd rather die"
At this time of year, the voices that children have been trapped in their hearts are coming one after another to the phone and chat consultation.
"
What should I do if I am excluded from my class in the first semester and school starts and it continues?
"
Day and night are reversed, and I don't feel like I'm going to start school. Maybe I should die.
"
The certified NPO "Childline" listens to the voices of children up to the age of 18.
He points out that there are voices unique to this time of year, when the summer vacation, which was spent freely, is over and the new semester is approaching.
Ms. Hiroe Takahashi, Childline Support Center
I had almost a month without any stress in my relationships with friends and teachers at school, as well as interpersonal relationships in extracurricular activities during summer vacation. I think it's stressful.
In addition, the impact of the corona misfortune is also out.
It is said that there are children who feel reluctant to talk to them because of the increase in environments where wearing masks and loud conversations are restricted.
It is said that he is in a situation where he is prone to feeling uneasy about himself, saying, “I am (alone)”.
Childline Support Center Ms. Hiroe Takahashi On her
website, there is a page called "Tweet" where you can write your feelings.
I want you to write there.
By writing, you can sort out your confused feelings.
First of all, try tweeting, and try to get out of yourself the troubles in yourself.
If you hold it alone, your thoughts will go round and round, and it will be difficult to find a solution.
I think it's very important to ask someone first.
Advisors are troubled students!
There is a school that has started a unique initiative to catch the SOS signal of children who complain about minor things.
"At first, I felt pain when I cut my wrist, but recently I don't feel it anymore."
" I'm
irritated
and want to die ."
This is the official homepage of a certain junior high school.
Kumamoto Municipal Obiyama Junior High School opened a consultation forum named "Obichu Katariba" on its website last summer.
Here, students can freely choose from 7 items such as "friends", "study and career", "family", etc., and post at any time, 24 hours a day.
What is unique is that the answers that the students of the same junior high school came up with are read by a person in charge who is familiar with SNS and then answered.
<Consultation>
"There is a girl in the same class that I like, but I can't talk to her."
<Answer>
“Courage is a moment, regret is a lifetime.
Junior high school students around the same age will answer with frank opinions based on their own experiences.
<Consultation>
"My parents didn't approve of my first choice school, and I feel like I was rejected."
<Answer>
“I am in the same position.
Invisible SOS
These efforts were initiated to meet the needs of today's children.
“In the past, when juvenile delinquency was common, it was easy to see the SOS of children, but now it is even harder to see. That
's what I started with,"
says Shinichiro Tanaka, the vice-principal who created the system.
Mr. Tanaka was previously in charge of "student guidance" at a junior high school, and has continued to deal with children who are involved in bullying, school refusal, and delinquency.
At times, he had conflicts with his students.
However, about 10 years ago, while children's behavioral problems became less conspicuous, troubles on the Internet increased.
There have been cases of sexual assault involving junior high and high school students triggered by SNS, as well as murders in the prefecture.
I don't know what
's going on... I don't know what the children are really like...
Mr. Tanaka learned from the children how SNS works and how to use it.
Mr. Shinichiro Tanaka of Obiyama Junior High School One day
, I asked the children, 'Why can't you talk to them?
', he said, 'Even if you want to ask for help, it's going to be hard if you always ask for help.'
In that case, I thought that it would be necessary to have a system in which children who had similar experiences would be on the side of helping.
Visualize what you want people to notice
However, if children interact with each other, it may lead to SNS flaming and bullying, and it may be difficult to deal with serious problems.
I think I can hear some people worrying about this...
In fact, all of these exchanges were made anonymously on tablets distributed to all students by Kumamoto City.
Regarding the exchange, it is a system that Mr. Tanaka always looks through at least once.
If there are offensive or inappropriate expressions, Mr. Tanaka will correct some of the expressions and publish them to ensure the psychological safety of the students.
In serious cases such as "I can't stop cutting my wrist...", Mr. Tanaka writes down the answer directly and encourages another "relief consultation" place where you can communicate with your real name.
Mr. Shinichiro Tanaka, Obiyama Junior High School
I think the thing that scares me the most is, for example, when a child who cuts his wrist is suffering because he can't tell the truth.
If you don't have a place to catch it before telling you to stop, you will become more and more isolated.
On the other hand, there was also a child who said, "I quit" because I was able to confide.
It seems that children don't want to "understand everything", but first of all, "I want them to notice the pain and suffering".
It's been a year since I started working on it this month.
Obiyama Junior High School has a total of 950 students, and so far, about 1,200 consultations have been posted and about 2,200 responses have been received.
The contents have been processed and published on the school's official website, and in cases where the real name has been consulted, it is being handled by telling the homeroom teacher.
Mr. Shinichiro Tanaka, Obiyama Junior High School Face-to-
face counseling is a high hurdle.
Successful experience in consulting or being consulted is required.
Without a place to express their feelings and true feelings, children go to private and dangerous places.
I would like to continue to create a better system in the future, while also considering the workload of teachers.
A place in the school classroom...
Many children who do not want to go to school have no place in the classroom.
Toda City, Saitama Prefecture has set up new classrooms at three elementary schools this spring.
About five such children visit the classroom named Palette Room every day.
Not only teachers, but also professional staff with experience in school work are watching over the children, giving them a sense of security.
If desired, children can take classes online at the same time as regular classrooms.
Toda City Board of Education Classroom Policy Office Director Takanori Kikuchi
Children who stop going to school do not hate school itself.
We thought that it was necessary to create a safe place within the school where children could visit at will.
Six months after the room was set up, children who had been unable to come for a long time began to visit the Paretto room, and some children began to use the Paretto room to calm themselves down while attending regular classes. The effect is starting to be seen.
In Toda City, we would like to install it in all public elementary schools in the future.
A classroom in a “virtual space”!
?
Furthermore, Toda City plans to provide new support.
From next month (September), we will provide learning support and various consultations in a virtual “classroom space” set up online for children who can no longer attend school.
We are collaborating with the certified NPO Katariba, which has continued to support school refusal.
When you set your favorite avatar and log in, a page like a game screen appears.
The staff and children of the certified NPO Katariba can go back and forth between classrooms, living rooms, staff rooms, etc. on the screen, have conversations, and participate in programs for each day of the week.
It is truly a virtual classroom space.
Toda City has created not only new classrooms that are separate from regular classrooms, but also virtual “classroom spaces” that children can attend from at home, giving children options.
Efforts to reach out to each child are ongoing.
Mr. Takanori Kikuchi, Toda City Board of Education
Until now, I think I would have just said, "If I don't like it, I won't go."
I believe that the more options you have, the more comfortable your child will feel.
It is important for children with anxiety to feel that they have options.
I think it's important to create a system that allows you to have options in your head.
what would your parents say?
While understanding children's SOS and creating a place where they belong is spreading, what should parents say when their child says "I don't want to go to school"?
We asked Associate Professor Nobuichiro Saito, Department of Clinical Psychology, Graduate School of Hokkaido University of Education, for some hints.
≪The following is the story of Associate Professor Saito≫
Q "I don't want to go to school" How should I say it?
When a child stops going to school, it is only natural that parents become anxious.
At that time, there are many things that are justified and sometimes scolded.
On the other hand, in the morning, the child himself may not be able to move his body as expected, or may have a stomach ache or headache. There are many things.
It is important to be able to express unpleasant feelings in words, but in order to do so, it is necessary to have those feelings accepted.
Accepting the feeling of ``I don't want to go (to school)'' and then saying ``I don't like times like this'' or ``Why don't you want to go to school? I think it would be nice if I could have the time to speak out.
QIs it necessary for parents to calm down without being rushed?
When you get anxious, you can't help but blame the other person or try to move the other person to get back to the way it was.
You can consult with school teachers and school counselors, and recently there are many NPOs that support young people, such as school refusal.
QHow can I notice my child's signs?
Even if you say something you don't like, I don't think you can say, 'I don't like it this way or that.'
In addition to saying ``I'm watching over you,'' it's necessary for children to feel safe and not to criticize or criticize, so please cherish a relationship where you can talk freely. I think
If it is difficult for you to go to school all the time from morning to evening, go to school for a short time after school and talk to your homeroom teacher and related teachers, and gradually start getting used to school and the new semester. would also be an option.
Q What should parents be aware of as the environment changes with the new coronavirus?
Before Corona, if I had to say, I think that friendships were relationships that were established through unnecessary and non-urgent ramblings.
In such a relationship, even if there was a slight misunderstanding, I was able to somehow resolve the awkwardness.
On the other hand, in the current situation, the redundancy of such communication has disappeared, and there is a risk that a slight misunderstanding can cut off a friendship in an instant.
I think it is important for adults to imagine the worldview of children and listen to their voices.
[List of consultation destinations]
Finally, I would like to introduce a consultation destination that you can use when you feel uneasy.
★Consultation via chat or LINE★
《NPO Anata no Ibasho》 You
can consult anonymously via chat 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for free.
https://talkme.jp/
《“Yukisaki Chat” of certified NPO “DxP”》
You can consult on LINE.
Weekdays 10am to 7pm.
"Consultation is about career paths and employment from 13 to 19 years old. About the lives of young people up to 25 years old."
https://www.dreampossibility.com/yukisakichat/
"Childline".
Online chat from 4pm to 9pm.
(1) Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
(2) Only 1st and 3rd Wednesdays.
*Until September 4th, consultations are accepted from 4:00 pm to 9:00 pm every day as a “national campaign”.
★Telephone consultation below★
Toll-free 0120-99-7777
from 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Free from cell phones.
https://childline.or.jp/
《Japan Telephone Federation of Life》
0120-783-556
4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
From 8:00 a.m. on the 10th of every month to 8:00 a.m. on the 11th of the following month.
※free.
It cannot be used from an IP phone.
https://www.inochinodenwa.org/
《24-hour children's SOS dial》
0120-0-78310 *Free of charge
《Children's Human Rights 110》
0120-007-110
Monday to Friday, 8:30 am to 5:15 pm.
*The period from August 26th to September 1st is “strengthening week”,
and consultations are accepted from 8:30 am to 7:00 pm on weekdays and from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm on Saturdays and Sundays.
https://www.moj.go.jp/JINKEN/jinken112.html