When browsing social networking sites and seeing the positive social aspect of your Facebook friends, their most amazing travel snapshots on Instagram, and the latest scientific and professional achievements of your colleagues on LinkedIn;
You can compare your life with those around you, and feel that you are the only one suffering in life, and everyone around you is happy all the time.
And it is not only when browsing the communication sites, but also extends by looking and thinking about the lives of everyone around us. People do not usually publish the negative aspects of their lives, and we only see the positive side, which may fall into the trap of comparison and start asking: “Why is everyone happier and better than me? "
What are the reasons for comparing ourselves to those around us?
What effect does this have on our thoughts, feelings, and our view of ourselves and our lives?
Two types of comparison
According to the Very Well Mind website, there are two types of social comparison: The first type is comparing ourselves to those who are better than us, and thinking of them as an inspiration and motivator to improve ourselves.
The other kind is comparing ourselves to those we feel are worse off than us, in an attempt to feel better about ourselves and our situation.
This indicates that comparisons are not negative all the time, and can be motivating, but they can also destroy our sense of happiness and satisfaction with ourselves, what we have and what we achieve, and among the factors that affect whether comparisons are useful or harmful is our self-esteem and the difficulties we are going through.
We often compare the worst aspects of our lives to the best aspects of those around us, and this is an unfair comparison (Shutterstock)
Why do we compare?
Man is a social creature, and comparison with the lives of others is a common behavior since the beginning of creation, which is the reason for the first murder in human history.
With exposure to social media and seeing those around us have everything we lack, watching celebrities and extravagant lifestyles, and major career and financial accomplishments around the world, we are constantly questioning every aspect of our lives.
Also, we often compare the worst aspects of our lives to the best aspects of the lives of those around us, which is of course an unfair comparison and distorts our judgment of ourselves.
Comparison effect
Comparing yourself to others' accomplishments is a losing battle. There are an infinite number of people you can compare yourself to, and there will always be someone who does something you wish you could too, but everyone has their own limited life and abilities.
Excessive comparison leads to unhappiness, dissatisfaction with life, and destroyed self-esteem. We are also jealous, angry, hopeless and frustrated with ourselves because we “are not good enough,” which can lead to excessive anxiety or depression.
Comparisons result in unhealthy behaviour, as some look for other people's faults or negative aspects of their lives to make themselves feel better, making other people's pain a source of comfort for us.
Here are some things you can do to help yourself stop comparing yourself to others:
1- Identify what motivates you and avoid it
List the situations and circumstances that make you compare yourself to others and affect your self-esteem, such as being in a group of friends who always care about material things, walking into an expensive store, and other things that stimulate your brain to compare.
2- Reduce your time on social media
You can unfollow accounts that make you compare yourself to others, or close your accounts for a while so you can rethink your life and look at the blessings you have and improve your image of yourself and your life, without unhelpful influences and news about other people's lives.
3- Remember that the picture is not complete
No one really knows what happens behind the scenes in someone else's life;
Everyone faces their own suffering, and even as this is taken for granted, we sometimes need to remind ourselves of that.
4- Commit yourself to gratitude
Negative emotions are hard to creep into when we're immune to gratitude and see the blessings we have so clearly, you can make counting the blessings in your life a daily habit, so they don't get buried under comparisons and hard to remember.
5- Make the comparison prompt
Instead of avoiding self-comparative people all the time and feeling envious of them, you can look at their accomplishments as a motivator and motivate you to put in more effort and believe in your abilities.
Choosing a friend to motivate each other to achieve common goals makes celebrating small victories more fun (Shutterstock)
6- Focus on your strengths
It is okay to be humble, but you should also be proud of what you have accomplished;
Excessive humility is as harmful as excessive self-confidence.
7- You are not alone
Remember that everyone has weaknesses and sides that they don't want anyone to know, and it's normal to compare yourself to others, we all doubt ourselves and get scared from time to time.
8- Trust your accomplishments
During the times when we feel weak and failed and we are dominated by negative emotions, and we cannot remember our achievements, writing down the achievements will help us get through these difficult times.
It can be made a daily habit, writing a daily achievement whether it is as big as a master's thesis discussion, or as small as resisting the urge to eat unhealthy food at night.
9- Just compare yourself
The only person you can compare yourself to is you in the past.
Look at your condition a month or a year ago, and think about the development you have achieved, the difficulties you faced, what you learned and how you established yourself, and you have the right to be proud of yourself for what you have achieved and overcome.
10- Choose your buddy
You can choose a friend to motivate each other to achieve common goals, celebrate together, and help stick to the plan.
Sharing goals provides moral support, a sense of responsibility to stick to the plan, and makes celebrating small victories more fun.