Children's book about divorce: Then start abusing your parents!

For children, a world falls apart when their parents separate.

At least if they are used to the fact that they have been together up to now.

Which is usually the case, just as it is a very common occurrence for that marriage, and with it the family, to fall apart again.

In 2020 there were around 72,000 couples in Germany with and roughly the same number of couples without children who got divorced; ten years ago there were around 90,000 with and about the same number without children.

The enormous number of unmarried parents who separate is not even counted.

A sentence like "After the initial shock, it's becoming clear to you day after day: Your parents are separating, maybe even getting divorced" is definitely correct.

Sad children may overlook the fact that he is nevertheless clumsy.

For now.

Because "Zicke Zacke Trennkacke" keeps you on your toes.

With thinking, crafting and writing tasks that should help to better cope with the whole misery of a family breaking up.

Clichés about love

There are plenty of literary adaptations of divorce, separated parents, blended families in youth literature.

Successful and less successful.

A few also appear in "Zicke Zacke Trennkacke", there are reading tips, for example with Guus Kuijer's "We All Together Forever" and "Everything Family" by Alexandra Maxeiner and Anke Kuhl.

In the growing segment of advice and activity books for children and young people, however, there is not yet too much that has been designed for children of divorce or separation.

Author Ilona Einwohlt and illustrator Regina Kehn have combined both into a hands-on guide.

It ranges from a “parental abuse machine” that combines new swear words, health tips, word explanations and cursory legal advice including addresses for help.

Kehn has illustrated pages designed in different styles - for filling in and coloring, even for sticking together and thus hiding from others.

The large format, the beautiful colors and the good paper also make “Zicke Zacke Trennkacke” a special book in this respect.

Unfortunately, the text does not quite live up to what the presentation promises.

This ranges from phrases about love and the observation that whenever one door closes, another one opens, to the question of what happens when the parents enter into same-sex new loves that start with the succinct sentence "You will then be a rainbow family". is answered.

The first chapter begins with first aid for that moment when a child or young person learns that their parents are separating, including breathing exercises for acute cases and "let it all out, you can do it" exercises.

Which, however, raises the question of when affected children should get their hands on Einwohlt's "Zickezacke Trennkacke".

Will caring parents who are separating buy the book in advance and give it to the child along with the dark news?

Let it all out, you can!

Einwohlt, who has already brought all sorts of books mixed from episodes and advice to the youth book market, from so-called strong girls to first love and puberty, collects tips and instructions for her text, the sources of which range from practical youth work to self-help and behavioral therapy approaches.

Apart from taking sides for the well-being of the child and a strong child, this is extremely heterogeneous and ranges from clichés such as the reconciliation cocoa and the search for a personal power animal to "I-messages".

Even the promise "You're not alone" gets a stale ring when it stands for looking for alliances with friends and family - but on the other hand and first of all tells the presumably newly struck child that millions of other children feel the same way.

Small consolation.

The exemplary biographies that are scattered between the tips and hands-on passages are quite interesting to read.

And are based on the research that Einwohlt has done in groups and counseling institutions.

Authenticity and the collection of good advice in a sometimes overly pedagogical tone, with jumps in content and conciseness instead of a confident courage to leave gaps, make "Zicke Zacke Trennkacke" more of a well-intentioned book than a good one.

The lush illustration cannot hide the fact that there is no original, clever approach of its own.

In any case, the mix of established genres has not created a convincing new one.

Ilona Einwohlt and Regina Kehn: "Zicke Zacke Trennkacke".

Carlsen Verlag, Hamburg 2022. 160 p., hardcover, €15.

From 7 years