On April 10, voters are called to the polls for the first round of the presidential election.
Each and everyone will have to choose, among the twelve candidates, which one they wish to see elected as head of state.
20 Minutes
gives the floor to its readers who do not share, but then not at all the same political opinions as their spouse.
Who should you trust to take the reins of the state?
Macron, Le Pen, Hidalgo, Pécresse, Mélenchon, Dupont-Aignan, Jadot, Roussel, Poutou, Arthaud, Zemmour or Lassalle?
On April 10, it will be necessary to choose which of these names to slip into the ballot box during the first round of the presidential election.
If some have not yet decided who they will vote for, or even if they will, others have already made their choice.
A choice that is not always consistent with that of those around him.
So, arguing with your brother-in-law or friends is commonplace.
But within the couple, what do you do when you have opposing political opinions?
Do we love each other because we share political convictions, or despite opposing opinions?
To be happy in love, do you have to vote the same?
Readers of
20 Minutes
confide.
“The important thing is to agree on the essentials”
For some, loving each other means sharing a common vision of life.
So when politics gets involved, differences are allowed as long as they do not reach a point of ideological fracture.
Paul, 43, will not vote for the same candidate as his wife, "but they are not at the antipodes either", specifies the one who defines himself as "an ecologist with deep convictions".
The quadra is also convinced: “I could never have married a person totally opposed to my political ideas.
This poses a problem for the construction of a couple, of its axis of life”.
Like him, “many say to themselves that it is impossible to be with someone who does not share the same values inscribed in our personality profile, our foundations, explains Véronique Kohn,
Which lover(s) are you?
(ed. Tchou).
We each have one or two very high essential values, which we consider so important that it seems imperative to us to have to share them with our partner”.
Thus, Jean, 72, and his wife “will probably not vote for the same candidate.
But that doesn't matter to us, we agree on the essentials: no one will vote for Zemmour, or for Le Pen, or for the one we brought to power in 2017, ”he says with satisfaction.
Because in practice, “many couples are based on a compatibility of values, political, societal, family.
It's the principle of "like attracts like", confirms the psychotherapist.
“Without common values, we could not be together”
Unlike Paul and Jean, Emmanuelle and her companion sometimes get torn.
“My companion has very strong, thoughtful opinions but very different from mine, whether on the management of the Covid-19 crisis or other subjects.
It is rather radical while I am moderate, describes the young woman of 35 years.
At the beginning of our relationship, it was a subject of passionate and exciting exchanges, but it quickly became a subject of disputes.
Over time, each has learned to listen to the other and to respect their point of view, even if we don't agree.
If the couple succeeds, it is because “we share political ideas.
It is on the measures to be taken, the method, that we do not agree.
We will certainly not vote for the same candidate, but we share common fundamental values.
Without that, we could not be together, ”she says.
“Left politicians who take right-wing measures and vice versa, it is common.
And not finding yourself on the method, but on common values allows you not to be bothered by the fact that each in the couple chooses a different candidate”, reassures Véronique Kohn.
“We no longer talk about politics, it avoids shouting”
On the other hand, when spouses each sail on opposite sides of the political spectrum, conflicts can quickly appear.
“It's the permanent fight at home, says Patrick, 66 years old.
My wife is rather seduced by the ideas of Jadot, Mélenchon and everything on the left, while I lean more towards the ideas of Zemmour and Marine.
My wife is very politicized and absolutely does not support the policies towards which I tend.
So since the start of the campaign, the atmosphere has been electric.
Even about the choice of media, it's a fight: I like CNEWS, Europe1 and Sud Radio, France Inter, France 5 and all these well-meaning media”.
However, “two personalities can attract each other despite their opposition on political values if they are complementary, reassures Véronique Kohn.
If we share other values,
Except that at Marianne, 64, politics matters a lot.
And turned into a point of intense tension.
“With my husband, I avoid any discussion and I watch the debates of my candidate alone, it avoids shouting”.
However, previously, Marianne and her husband were on the same side: “on the left, trade unionists and used to demonstrating.
He remained so, but for ten years, I no longer recognize myself in these ideas.
I prefer Eric Zemmour, I like his proposals on immigration, police and security.
To the point of getting up at 5 a.m. on Sunday and driving 400 km by bus to attend his meeting”.
"Just because we live together doesn't mean we have to have the same opinions"
If her husband saw her slip away before sunrise, “on my return, continues Marianne, he did not ask me what I had done.
But he must know because since then he hasn't spoken to me and sleeps in another room”.
If she does not know “not really who he will vote for, probably Macron”, she knows on the other hand that “any political discussion has become impossible.
When I want to talk about it, he braces himself and tells me that I was bamboozled.
Temporary storm or fundamental crisis?
“This couple had to cement themselves on militancy and a common political vision, and find themselves a little disoriented by their differences, advances the psychotherapist.
The couple, the partner, in the societal projection, is the first ally, the one who supports us on a daily basis and in the trials.
When the other switches to opposing convictions,
Today, Marianne sees it: “we no longer have common political values.
It's a shame, but I don't care!
I do not admit that he tramples my opinions.
It's sure, at the moment, it's a little hard, but it's nothing serious, ”she reassures herself.
“After the election, perhaps the tension will fall, continues the psychotherapist.
Unless these contrary political opinions are grafted onto pre-existing tensions and become a pretext to vent his resentment.
There, couples therapy can be a path to take.
But if this is not the case, we can overcome this stormy passage by revisiting what is good in the relationship: tenderness, benevolence, empathy”.
Moreover, Marianne is convinced of this: “Just because we live together doesn't mean we have to have the same opinions and agree on everything!
Couples blessed-yes-yes, it's not interesting.
»
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