China News Service, March 7th. According to the US "World Daily" report, I want to find someone to marry or find a good marriage for my children, but there is no suitable person in the circle of friends; I want to make friends online, but I am worried about online dating and hidden fraud.
In the United States, traditional, brick-and-mortar dating organizations do better business in the Internet age.
Parents over 30 worried
Ms. Yang, the manager of a sorority in the United States, revealed that after New Year's Day this year, "obviously more people" called her.
The Chinese believe that "one year longer during the Chinese New Year", and they are very anxious to see that their children who are over 30 years old have no partner, especially female parents. "Because women want to have children, 35 years old is a hurdle."
She said that in addition to calling to register, parents also came to the office in person to help their children register, hoping that they would get rid of the order as soon as possible.
Ms. Yang revealed that there are several Chinese-run dating agencies in New York City, as well as many dating sites targeting Asians, so the matchmaking market is highly competitive.
A person familiar with the matter said that in addition to finding partners through dating agencies and dating websites, Chinese in the United States also set up their own blind date WeChat groups to introduce objects to their children through WeChat groups.
Some people feel that dating agencies and dating websites are unreliable, so they publish marriage advertisements in Chinese media to find their other half.
Ms. Yang said that there are several reasons why it is difficult for Chinese American to find a partner: First, the number of Chinese in the United States is small, and many Chinese women marry non-Chinese, so it is more difficult for Chinese men to find a spouse.
Second, although online dating is very popular, it is difficult to verify the authenticity of online information, so the success rate is low.
She said that face-to-face blind dates can improve the success rate, because face-to-face can see each other's appearance and conversation clearly, and can get to know each other in depth.
The sorority was established in New Jersey in 2007 and has an office in Flushing, New York City, mainly engaged in matchmaking for domestic and international marriages in the United States.
From its establishment to the present, the association has successfully introduced many well-connected people, some of whom have married and had children.
"The oldest child is in his teens and the youngest is two years old."
Face-to-face dating has a high success rate
Ms. Yang said the association has been established for more than ten years and has been advertising in newspapers.
Many parents see their advertisements all year round and have a sense of trust in them.
In addition, some people have passed word of mouth, "Some people recommend it to friends after they successfully get off the list, so some members are recommended by members."
The matchmaking organization has several thousand members, and the ratio of men and women is about the same.
The age distribution of members is very wide, the youngest is 22 years old, and the oldest is 80 years old.
The members are mainly Chinese from 30 to 60 years old, mostly white-collar workers.
However, the male-to-female ratio differs in age distribution.
For example, there are more men in their 30s and 40s than women in their 50s and 60s, and more women in their 50s and 60s than men in the same age group.
In addition, some members are over 70 years old and mainly want to find a wife to spend the rest of their life with.
She said that in mid-March 2020, a new crown pneumonia outbreak broke out in New York City.
After the New York State government issued a stay-at-home order, New Yorkers are mostly working from home.
"During the epidemic, our business has not stopped." In the past, they often held face-to-face networking events for single friends.
"Because of the epidemic, we have stopped all social activities."
During the epidemic, they provided other contact methods that they did not meet, such as phone calls, videos, WeChat groups, etc.
They created several WeChat groups and organized single friends in WeChat groups.
After friends join the WeChat group, they can get to know each other.
She said members were free to choose after they got to know each other.
It is also possible that they will not follow their lead. If the talks are good, they will meet offline.
Difficulty finding objects online
Ms. Ruan, the founder of another dating agency in New York, said that during the epidemic, many people were working from home, and when they had more free time, they went online to find a partner.
They reported that it was "too difficult" to find the right person online, mainly because they couldn't understand each other's situation.
For example, if they just met each other, it is difficult to ask each other's personal information, for fear of asking too much and causing the other party's resentment.
However, dating agencies can "find out the basic situation of the blind date".
She said that every person who wants to find a partner in her place, she has to ask some basic information in person, including family, education, work status, interests, hobbies, etc.
She said that guests must go to the Zhiyin matchmaking office to register face-to-face.
When meeting with guests, she also needs to verify age and show documents, and she also observes the guests' situation, such as conversation, personal values, personal accomplishment, etc.
"These information are all references for matching."
Some people expressed that they want to join the membership and want to send money directly, but they do not come to meet.
She said that she must meet in person, because there is still a difference between the photo and the real person.
"Some people look better in photos, and some people look better in real people than in photos." She said that she must meet and help check.
Ms. Ruan's matchmaking agency is generally a combination of recommendation and self-selection.
Some men are less than 1.6 meters, but women are required to be taller than him, because they do not want their children to be shorter in the future.
It is understandable for men to ask for this, but women are not necessarily willing.
For example, she said, she once arranged for a short man to meet another woman.
"It's okay for two people to sit and meet, but when they stand up, the woman says no, and they can't pass the psychological barrier."
Ms. Nguyen said her matchmaking center mainly charges two fees, the first being a registration fee.
If she wants to come to register, she needs to see all the documents and photos and take pictures on the spot.
After the meeting, she will ask again how she feels about this person.
The second fee is the membership fee.
"Membership fees are charged on a case-by-case basis, so interviews are required."
Mrs. Li, director of the "Mrs. Li Friendship Center" in Flushing, New York, said her clients are mainly second-generation Chinese immigrants.
She said the age of the registrants showed that fewer people were born in the 1980s, and most were children born in the 1990s.
She said their parents were in a hurry and wanted their children to start a family as soon as possible.
The Covid-19 outbreak had "too much impact" on her centre's operations.
"The state government announced the stay-at-home order, and I quit the rent and worked from home." She said that now, she is mainly a client introduced by acquaintances.
Many blind daters are afraid to meet for fear of contracting the new coronavirus.
She said that after some people paid the registration fee, they told her to "see each other when the epidemic is gone".
There are also people who are willing to meet during the epidemic, but have changed the meeting place.
In the past, they met mainly in restaurants, chatting while eating.
"Now, they drive to the suburbs by themselves and don't eat." Customers communicate through other means of communication, such as phone calls, WeChat, etc.
Parents' participation in blind date is heartbreaking
A forum website run by Chinese-Americans had a post a year ago with the title "There is a group in New York where parents help with blind dates", which caused a thousand waves.
Someone pointed out in the thread that I recently heard that there is a parent group in New York, all of them are blind dates, and there are thousands of data on various singles.
Someone responded: "My relatives are looking for a son-in-law there." As far as he knows, there are Chinese (ABC) groups born in the United States in the Greater New York area, Columbia groups, New York University (NYU) groups, top 50 university groups, The top 50 university doctorate (PHD) group.
"My mother forced me to find a partner. In order to prevent my mother from interfering too much in my life, I chose to join the blind date group." The poster found that the generation gap between the parents in the group and him was too great, so he asked his mother to remove him from the group. Changed out of the group.
A reader who lives in the Bay Area disclosed that there are also parent groups in the Bay Area.
"The school where I went to graduate school had this kind of blind date group." This group started out as an exchange of American life, and after the children graduated, they became a blind date group.
For example, someone said that his family had several groups.
"Three for my dad and nine for my mom. I just wonder why I didn't get away with this."
The poster complained, "Everyone has fled to the United States, but they still can't escape. Isn't free love bad? Why do you want to go on a blind date? It's so annoying!"
I don't believe in dating agencies and she advertises in the newspaper
One woman, who asked not to be named, said she was in her 50s, divorced from her husband, and wanted to find an ideal partner.
She once commissioned a matchmaking agency in Flushing to help her introduce a partner.
She said that after paying the agency fee of $1,000, the matchmaking agency only "introduced two people and exaggerated the man's conditions", which she disliked.
She is also reluctant to make friends online.
So, she published marriage advertisements in Chinese newspapers.
She said she graduated from college and runs a company that earns more than $100,000 a year.
She has a house and an identity and looks good.
The child has graduated from a prestigious school and found a job.
"The condition I ask is that the man's conditions are equivalent to mine." She revealed that after the first marriage advertisement was published in the newspaper, a total of fifty or sixty people called, "and there are men who are ten years younger than me."
After understanding, she found that very few applicants had college degrees and their knowledge was very narrow.
"Many people have no housing or even an identity." She doesn't consider all of these.
She said that if you were to look for one at random, you would find it very quickly.
"I'd rather be queer than abuse." She revealed that after the first marriage advertisement was published, she still gained something, that is, she met "two or three friends".
She said it cost more than $200 to advertise for a marriage a month, which is cheaper than what a matchmaking agency charges.
She plans to publish it twice after a while to see if she can meet a suitable one.
She believes there will be opportunities in a year or two.
"Some men also want to find me like this, but it takes time." She said she was ready.
(Han Jie)