I'm glad I made this choice-The end of the Corona-stricken family-February 18, 18:06

"No matter what happens to my body, I'm at home without calling an ambulance. Don't take me to the hospital. Let me stay at home."

A 19-year-old woman wrote her thoughts.

Three months after she wrote this letter, she died on June 13, 2020.

As the infection with the new coronavirus spreads, women chose to stay their own until the end.

(Interview Network News Department Shie Kanazawa)

Wearing handmade earrings

It is the remains of Miho Hase who died at the age of 19.

I took it myself a year before her death to showcase her handmade earrings.

Miho-san didn't like being photographed.

This is the only photo in the last few years that shows the face.

She feels that her mother, Tomomi, took this picture with her idea of ​​making her a ghost.

(Mother Tomomi)

"Usually I would only take pictures of my ears, but I rarely see my face. After I died, I felt like Miho said," You can use this as a ghost at the end. " did"

1 in 600,000 intractable diseases

Miho has been suffering from various illnesses since she was a child.

Her weight doesn't increase and her cough doesn't stop.

She went to the hospital many times, but the cause remained unknown.

She was finally diagnosed when she was in the fifth grade of elementary school.

"Cystic fibrosis"

It is an intractable disease that causes various symptoms such as pneumonia, bronchitis, and cirrhosis when the bronchi and digestive tract are easily clogged with sticky secretions. It has been.

(Mother Tomomi)

"I was relieved to find out the cause after the diagnosis, and at the same time, I learned that I couldn't live for a long time. I was very shocked because I had a vague expectation that I would go. "

I want to spend time with my family

From the time I was diagnosed, I couldn't go to school because of hematemesis due to cirrhosis and the accompanying severe anemia.

Every time hematemesis, he was taken to the hospital and hospitalized.

I have been tested many times under general anesthesia and cannot eat or drink for a long time to heal my wounds.

I gradually feel doubts about the days of repeated hospitalizations and discharges.

"I have to do something like this because it doesn't heal. I don't like hospitals anymore.


(Mother Tomomi)

I was sometimes told, "I wanted you to give birth normally so that you can live normally," or "Do you hate moms staying in the hospital all the time?" I started to face my body, and I felt that I was seriously thinking about how to live my life in the future and how to reach the end. "

When I was in the first year of junior high school, I vomited a lot of blood and entered the ICU, and I was hospitalized for two months.

At that time, Miho told her Tomomi for the first time.

She said, "Don't take me to the hospital by ambulance anymore."

It was because I wanted to spend time with my family while drawing my favorite pictures and eating what I wanted to eat.

(Mother Tomomi)

"At first, I said,'What if something happens?' I thought it was safer to stay in the hospital, and I persuaded him, but he had a firm intention

. I was told that I should be treated aggressively, but I really want to spend my time at home. As a parent, I want to fulfill that hope. "

Indication of intention in Corona

I don't know when to vomit a lot of blood again.

Still, Miho decided to spend her time at her home.

I worked on my own studies and sometimes spent time painting and cooking.

In the future, I also had a dream of wanting to work by making the best use of my dexterity.

However, the symptoms gradually worsen from around January.

Ascites accumulates and liver function declines.

Meanwhile, I faced the spread of the new coronavirus infection.

Miho has low resistance to infectious diseases.

She often said her anxiety,

"You'll die as soon as I get it ."

There were reports that she was hospitalized with a celebrity infected and she died without being able to meet her family and farewell enough.

Then, the parent and child talked again about "how to reach the end".

If you can't stop hematemesis, you have the option of taking an ambulance to the hospital for treatment.

However, once hospitalized ...

The two decided to make a proper statement of intention.

(Mother Tomomi)

"I might not be able to spend time together because I'm separated, so I decided to write it again. Miho's intention to die at home is It was hard from before, but I was also very anxious about not knowing what would happen in such a situation. "

On the other hand, Tomomi has another feeling ...

"I had mixed feelings as if I had a suicide note written."

My physical condition was already quite bad, but Miho carefully spelled out her thoughts for about 30 minutes, character by character.

"Thank you"

Three months later.

First hematemesis at 10 pm.

And at midnight, I repeated the next day.

While being held in Tomomi's arms, Miho said "Thank you" at the end of her breathing.

(Mother Tomomi)

"I was scared at first because I realized that I was the last one, but I'm still not alone because I've lived together for a long time," and "I did my best."

Just before I lost consciousness, he told me to squeeze out "Thank you." It was hard to watch the painful appearance and the appearance of losing consciousness, but


confirmed the intention of the person .

And I was really glad that I made this choice because I was able to respect it. I think Miho did her best to live and die. "

No visits at hospitals

Some families have chosen to reach the end of their son at home after being discharged from the hospital due to a ban on hospital visits in Corona.

Tomoaki Adachi, who lives in Sendai, saw his son Akihiro (33 years old) last June.

Akihiro has the same intractable disease as his Miho, and has been hospitalized and discharged repeatedly from an early age due to pneumonia and indigestion.

Whenever I was hospitalized after my wife died, I always went to the hospital every morning, then headed to my place of employment, and after finishing work, I continued to accompany me in the hospital room again.

However, due to the spread of the new corona infection, the hospital was banned from visiting from the end of February.

At first, I talked online and communicated by taking pictures of the dog walking on my smartphone.

However, changes gradually begin to appear in Mr. Akihiro.

His facial expression became poor and he lost a lot of weight.

The doctor in charge explained, "Depressive symptoms have progressed and the results of treatment have stopped. It may be because I can't meet my father."

At the entrance to the hospital, I saw a security guard telling me, "I can't meet you even though I have terminal cancer."

"It's not just ourselves."

"My son is mentally driven by not being able to meet. It's probably best for us to spend time together."

In June, Akihiro decided to leave the hospital.

(Father Tomoaki)

"It was the most favorable situation for me to be there while seeing a doctor or nurse in the hospital room, but I realized that it was impossible in the situation of Corona. I was also told, "If you look at the test results, you can't go home," but I thought it was a priority to be with me. "

I wasn't prepared for Mitori

First of all, I want to recover my daily life.

For that reason, on days when I was in good physical condition, I spent time going out for a drive that Akihiro had liked since he was fine and playing games with him.

I gradually regained the brightness of my facial expression.

However, my physical condition does not recover as I expected.

Her symptoms worsened and she was temporarily hospitalized last February.

At that time, I was told by a doctor that I would like her to think about birds only at home.

(Father Tomoaki)

"When I first decided to spend my time at home, I wasn't honestly aware that I would do it at home. I used to see my parents at the hospital, but I didn't get the image of seeing them at home. To be honest, I was confused. "

There was a doctor's visit once a week, but the burden of peritoneal dialysis and toilet assistance, which required the replacement of the dedicated liquid three times a day, was heavy, and it became difficult for Tomoaki himself to balance his work. ..

He retired from the university he was working for and spent most of the day sitting in a chair by Akihiro's bed, with no time to lie down.

Regretless regret


I lose consciousness and begin to look suffocating.


as the doctor told me, I put in a suppository to ease my breathing, and I just took my breath to sleep.

(Father Tomoaki)

"I'm crazy about that time and I don't remember much. It's still hard now, but I think it's good that I was able to take responsibility for the end of my family. I hope this choice was really good when I looked back five or ten years later. "

I can't meet you easily, I can't touch you

It is said that there are many cases in which people return home from the hospital and reach the time of their visit while they cannot visit due to the corona.

At the Sendai City clinic where Akihiro visited, 44 people died at home in 2019 before Corona.

However, in 2020, when the infection spread, the number reached 74, and last year it reached 77.

(M & T Home Clinic Dr. Nobu Sato)

"It is premised that the number of people taking stress at home is increasing in an aging society, but the impact of the new corona is certain. I want to meet patients and their families. However, I am very stressed because I can't meet. More and more people are staying at home and watching over with their families at the end of the offensive medical treatment. "

Repeated spread of infection.

It is not easy to meet or touch while the visitation restrictions continue at hospitals.

Many people are facing the question of whether they will spend their last days at home, in the hospital, or what is the correct answer in a situation they had never imagined before.

Everyone will face one day

And it's also a question that everyone must make a decision at some point, whether it's a corona or not.

Later, I sent an email to her mother, Tomomi, who saw her daughter Miho Hase at her home.

"How should I deal with this reality?"

Tomomi immediately replied.

"The one left behind after his death is full of sadness, but it is very important to feel that he is satisfied with what he wants to do." I think. ”

To reach the end when I think“ I'm glad I made this choice ”.

There was a family member who had talked about what was good for him and what he could do for it.

It is also a task to have her suicide note written on the premise of her death, as Tomomi said.

To be honest, I don't know what kind of decisions the family can actually make when that happens, but I think it is most important to respect the will of the person.