You are 100% responsible for your life, but we usually like to blame others for the misery we are in because it is a comfortable and easy feeling, but unfortunately it will only lead to more misery.
As long as you don't take full responsibility for your life, your emotions, your money, your education and your relationships, your life won't go the way you want it to, so stop waiting for someone to fix your life, because the only person who can do that is really you.
Here are 7 important mental transformations to become happier that author Caro Wanner suggests in her article on Medium, which she wishes she had studied in primary school instead of discovering after her long years of life.
Take charge of your life
Don't let others or circumstances control you, you are the one in charge, you are the decision maker and you have the power.
It takes courage to admit that if something is not going well, it may be your fault and you are the only one who can change it. If you think this way, there is hope for your happiness.
Remember that everything that happens to us in our lives even if it is very difficult is for us to learn life lessons, if you look at life in this way you will be able to achieve the life you envision in your dreams.
The more I dig into your past, the worse I feel... The secret is in the present moment (Getty Images)
Focus only on what you can control
It is true that some things that happen to us are out of our control and we cannot change them, but they can be circumvented and focus only on the things that can be controlled, when there is a storm no one can calm it, what you can do is calm yourself and the storm will pass, if you master this The method will save yourself a lot of drama and pain in your life.
For example, you will not be able to determine whether you will get the job you applied for, but you can do your best in all interviews, and be prepared, the outcome is often uncertain, but if you focus on your efforts you will eventually get where you want to be.
Stop digging in the past
We usually dig into the past to justify what happens to us and what we did. Our minds prompt us to look for the reasons behind the mistakes we made. There may already be some reasons, but it is no longer important now.
Every mistake you actually made you learned from it to become the wonderful person you are now, the more mistakes you made, the more lessons and knowledge you gathered, we never know what's good in the end.
Your ego makes you keep looking until you find something that makes you feel sorry for yourself, the deeper you dig into your past the worse you feel, the secret is in the present moment, live in the present and don't let the past have power over you.
You can do everything
You can do anything you want in your life if you are willing to do it, in work you may not be the fastest to reach your goal but in the end you will get there because hard work is the most important.
Talent only helps you get a little head start, but you won't get anywhere without discipline, and that's what you have to stick to.
The author of the article recounts her experience, saying, “During college, my grades were poor in all languages, but my father understood the matter, he told me that we have no talent in the family for learning languages, but after 12 years I speak 3 languages, one of which is Chinese, when people discover that I speak Chinese, they say I must have linguistic talent, but that's not true, I studied hard for 4 years and took private lessons, studied new vocabulary every day, and spent the evenings doing my homework."
"Am I the best at Chinese? No, was I the quickest to reach my fluency level? No, but I got there," Wanner says.
Let people see and love who you really are
Important relationships in life can only develop when we appear to be who we really are. It will always be fake if you pretend to be someone else you are not. Your partner may fall in love with the mask you wear but not with you.
Sometimes we pretend to be someone else to please our families and our egos, but the courage is to show your own nature and not fake it.
You have to align your actions with your values that you believe in (dpa)
Get rid of the drama
There is always a voice in our heads that tells us our expectations and fears. This voice can be very helpful or cause great pain to us, and that is what it most often does to most people. This voice has been programmed to use your fears and pain against you without you even noticing.
For example, you call your friend and he does not answer, you call repeatedly and he does not answer, if you had bad experiences with friends in the past, the voice will now start to make the idea that your friend is deliberately not answering you, and if one of your loved ones had an accident in the past, the voice will now tell you that One of your children may be late because of a bad accident.
Instead, reassure yourself that there is no evidence of these fears at the moment, and try to relax and focus on the present, if you master this you will save yourself a lot of drama and pain in your life.
live according to your values
You have to align your actions with the values you believe in, only then will you feel in line with yourself, that people who live according to their values are happier and healthier, and that makes sense.
When your behavior does not match what you believe in, there will be conflict and conflict with yourself, which will drain your energy and happiness.