Translation Introduction:
Like iron, humans can become magnets for certain behaviors. This is most evident in addiction, but it appears more commonly and hidden in our view of work, our obsession with productivity and our constant need to increase achievement.
But what if all of this is completely wrong?
What if we miss finding the true meaning of our lives?
What if it is just as harmful as addictive?
Translation text:
In the last period of the epidemic, during which you experienced the darkest moments of your life, when you were swallowed up by stress and fear and you became distracted and lost focus, it is no wonder that you heard this sentence over and over again: “It is very difficult”, perhaps you read it, or perhaps it was directed to you by your manager, or you repeated it inside you.
Facing a pandemic for almost two full years is not easy, especially for those who led the front lines of defense from doctors and teachers who tried so hard to teach their students from home, and even to the unemployed, who were gripped by a constant fear of the way the Corona variables spread. And those lived in complete isolation, and were terrified by the gatherings.
In the face of this pandemic, everyone sought nothing but pain, but to varying degrees.
All these arduous steps of attempts to isolate and follow the rules were worth committing to in order to preserve the lives of others, especially our acquaintances, those with weak immunity.
Even in the most lonely moments, or exhaustion in your heart, or a wave of genuine terror sweeping over you, you were finally able to continue your commitment and solitude, knowing the purpose of it all.
But many knowledge workers (whose careers depend on thinking) have long reached their breaking point before the pandemic even hit.
Reverence for hard work
Despite working hours in excess of 40 hours a week, the purpose of all this is gradually fading and becoming increasingly vague.
In recent years, it has become rarer to do work that makes us feel meaningful or innovative, even if we once mumbled the opposite of what we feel to give a perfect answer to what we love about our job.
Our aim was not once to try to be gentle with ourselves and reduce the work assigned to us, but quite the contrary, we set out forced under the weight of work, determined to go hard to prove that we could take on more work.
The standards of our societies dictate that from our birth we have to revere and dedicate hard work.
Long working hours can cause you to feel suffocated by the demands of productivity that drain your time and your body, yet you have a cold feeling that what you do can never be compared to hard work, such as agricultural or industrial work.
According to societal standards, working outside the home, whether in the open air or in factories or any form of work that stresses the body, is considered a noble and heroic act, unlike working from home using a computer that society deems less worthy, even if it negatively affects the The body, too, but in ways that leave no visible traces.
So, what kind of work actually has real value?!
The answer to this question is very vague.
For example, many knowledge workers, including writers, feel job insecure, and many questions such as: How much work do they have to do?
Who are they targeting with this work?
What is the value of what they do?
Do they feel valued during this work?
How are they rewarded for their achievements?
Which institution will offer them this reward?
In the face of all these confusing questions, they find only more confusing answers.
In the face of the exploitative capitalist system, some were greatly disappointed, and declared their strong protest against this system as the main reason for creating this feeling of confusion and confusion.
While others gave up completely and engaged in the work that they considered a condition for achieving their personal value and self-esteem.
In response to the existential crisis about one's personal value, they could not help but jump into the productivity grinder which they also considered a condition of achieving their personal value, hoping that they would eventually find purpose, dignity, and a sense of security.
Unfortunately, the grinding whirlpool of work rarely delivers the value and meaning we hope.
And if we look at the bright side a little, we will find that people are well aware that the current situation of working life is no longer bearable, and the epidemic has come to assure them of this by creating an opportunity to reconsider the shape of our lives, and try to get rid of all the things that disturb us.
Do simple hobbies save us?
Flexible grapes (in which the employee chooses when to work, provided the total number of daily, weekly or monthly hours that the employer expects, and the employee decides when and where they will work) can change your life.
The quality of this work can also lift us out of the never-ending cycle of productivity, and we will be overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness and health, and this is reflected positively on society as well.
It also does justice to the idea of working from home that has been wronged by societal norms.
In terms of your social life, it will help you to be a good friend, a devoted father, and a better partner.
Ironically, it may also allow you to live the kind of life that you pretend through your Instagram posts.
It will give you more time to break free from a burdensome workload and rediscover aspects of your life that can make you feel better.
We try hard to escape even a little bit from the damned whirlpool of work, so that we can remember the true purpose of what we are doing and restore the dignity of our whole life.
But first you have to ask yourself some questions such as: Who would you be if work was no longer the focus of your life?
How will your relationship with your close friends and family change?
What role will you play in your community in general?
Who will you support?
How will you interact with the world?
And what will be most important to you to fight for?
The main reason we get so tired and anxious is that we get used to treating our lives as subject to stress and sacrifice as long as it is for the sake of work.
We suffocate our lives to the point that asking ourselves past questions can make us feel too indulgent about our lives, feel silly, and our attempts to answer these questions are a fantasy.
Well, let's bring the point of view a little closer, and imagine with me that your life is a movie and you have to choose people to play your role and the roles of the rest of your family, to appear as a family that enjoys comfort, energy and vitality, won't your mind then try to convince you that this is a kind of fantasy?
Even if he tried, you should realize that thinking this way is amazing, because you really need to, and you should yearn for it to the point of motivating you to change your life.
Let's go back in time a bit. Think about your previous life before you worked constantly for pay. When you had a space of time that wasn't related to schedules or productivity, what did you like to use it for?
Your answer should not relate to what your parents dictated to you for your own good, nor what you feel you need to do to adapt to the circumstances around you, nor to do something just because it will add to your skills when you apply for college or a job.
The answer might be very simple and include activities such as: you loved riding your bike without a specific destination, making daring new recipes in the kitchen, trying makeup, writing fairy tales, playing cards with your grandfather, or maybe just laying down In bed listening to music, trying all kinds of clothes and making funny costumes, maybe gossiping, collecting cards, playing basketball, going on long trips, learning to sew, or skiing.
Whatever your hobbies, you did them before because you really wanted to, not because they would look interesting if you posted them on social media, or because they improved and showed your body in a perfect way, or because these hobbies give you a chance to talk about them during gatherings with friends and over drinks.
You did it out of a burning desire inside you that makes you enjoy these things.
Once you come up with the things you really enjoyed, try to remember the details of those things.
Were you responsible then for your life?
Did you have achievable goals then, or were there no goals at all?
Did you spend these times alone or with others?
Was your favorite activity spending time with someone you loved?
Did these hobbies involve organizing, training, following patterns, or collaborating with friends?
Try to write down these things and your reasons for relating to them.
Consider this list and wonder if there are any such experiences in your current life.
If your answer to these questions is related to your job, this might make some sense.
This is due to our nature that sometimes we have to associate the things we are good and love with our profession.
But those who have followed the pernicious advice to "do what you love" know where things will turn out in the end.
Yes, this tip is just a trap to drain you, and a clever way to strip all the fun and passion out of any activity (simply, do what you love and you'll keep working every day until the last day of your life).
Unfortunately, these activities that most of us used to engage in in childhood and adulthood no longer have any impact on our current lives.
Although it shapes our past and reminds us of what we used to be, we always find ready answers to why we neglected them.
We always argue with phrases such as: "We don't have enough means to continue with these hobbies," financial or otherwise, "We don't have enough time for that," or "We neglected them for so long that we lost our previous skills," and we might say, "We simply don't We have the ingredients or the means to start thinking about doing it again."
In fact, if we pay attention a little, we will find that the reason we cling to these excuses is that we are so tired from work.
Wouldn't it be easier not to have advance plans?
Not trying something new or trying to make time to do something you used to love?
If these questions indicate anything, unfortunately they indicate that they come out of the tongue of a completely exhausted person, who allows his work to drain most of the hours of his day, and extinguishes even his will to do things that may nourish his soul, and restore his activity again.
We do not give priority to these activities, because we do not really give priority to ourselves.
All we do is look for ways to reach our optimum level of desirable employees.
So, you have to realize well that the real hobby is not a way to decorate your personality, or to show off your social status, but it is - very simply - just things that you like to practice out of a desire that stems from within you.
stop running
Well, be patient with yourself when you find out.
If you eventually manage to make time in your schedule for these activities, you should know that it's okay if you feel like using that time to take a nap or watch sports.
This is a very normal feeling, and very expected.
You are now in a recovery phase, and the result will not only be the dusting off of many years of hard work, but also the accumulated stress caused by the difficult periods of the epidemic.
And never think that losing the compass and losing your direction to yourself and what you love means their disappearance forever, you will get back all of that with time, you just have to be patient and merciful to yourself.
This is not just a period of "self-care", but rather a period of recuperation and recovery.
When the effects of burnout from work begin to subside, and you begin to recover, beware of gasping for productivity, resist the urge to do so, and direct your compass again towards starting to explore your own pleasures.
When my wife and I decided to implement this, Anne wanted to practice skateboarding, which was her favorite hobby in childhood, but the problem was that she hesitated to practice it again, and soon, of course, attributed this to several ready-made reasons, for example, that her skate shoes had become worn out. And she had no one to go with, and she asked: Who will take care of the dogs?
In addition, she does not have goggles, and she thought that the weekend might be lost completely in skiing, while she could use these hours to work, for example.
I wondered: If I start over, what if my skills are not as good as before?
These arguments and excuses were ready to come out as soon as he asked her why.
But in the end I decided to go skateboarding, rented some equipment, and had a really impressive experience.
For Anne, it was like a visit to her past and his memories, as for me, I tried to learn to play the guitar again, but I soon hesitated to buy a new one, and I also began to wonder: What if I invested my time in learning this hobby again and then You neglected her again?
But I overcame it and eventually bought a mid-range guitar, and then set out to practice.
At first, I feel uncomfortable, because we are so pressured to excel at everything that we don't accept being mediocre at something, and we immediately feel uncomfortable.
But when I realized it was okay, all the lessons of my youth started to flow into my head again, and I played until my fingers swollen.
It turns out that accepting our average level in something means allowing ourselves to fully open up to the amazing miracles of continuous small developments, and most of all, that these developments will only happen if you allow yourself to truly enjoy the time of learning something new.
In a way, the guitar became a lifeline, a way to focus completely on something else that had nothing to do with work at all.
Whatever hobby you choose to pursue, it must be as completely different from work as possible.
Meaning that you have to resist any reason that turns it into a commodity in some way, even if people praise how good what you do, and suggest you sell it, you shouldn't succumb to that, resist the urge to master this hobby so that it doesn't turn into something like work with time.
This does not mean that you stop improving, you can of course improve your performance and give something to others, but remember that this is all completely different from trying to be the best in this field, and if you do not achieve that, do not start bashing yourself (or give up this hobby completely) Just because you feel like you're falling short or not doing your best.
One day last winter, I sent a follow-up to my wife telling her that she had recently started drawing, even though she had never drawn in her life, and she had no skill for that, and she did not even aspire one day to hone this skill, all that there is is that she only loved to draw “silly and funny shows.” ' for scenes in her life, like her dog for example, and then send it to her friends for fun.
Her happiness was not in producing this thing or trying to master it, but in practicing the drawing itself and passing it on to her friends.
It is the happiness inherent in doing something that has no purpose or value other than the things that obsess over us, and refuse to let go.
In her book How To Enjoy Doing Nothing, American author Jenny Odell portrays these types of activities as a way to regain control of your attention.
With these hobbies, you harness your desire to do these activities, and act on this desire, not on the desires of others that force you to give up your time and effort.
To achieve this, you have to distance yourself from common hobbies somewhat, and you have to silence the voice that will try to convince you to find an activity that can be “do” with your partner or child.
You can actually share other activities with them later, but in the beginning you must focus on finding what you really want, and this means avoiding endeavors or activities that require a large investment of time or money, which will increase the pressure on the activity itself.
Never give up on your hobbies
When you find an activity and make time for it regularly, you may think that it is strange, and you may have preoccupations that what you are doing is some kind of selfish or childish.
Then you just have to silence that voice inside of you.
If you live alone, this may be the sound of your addiction to work.
Enjoying your hobbies is never selfish.
But if you are a husband and father and you have permanent obligations, then allocating some time for yourself is not impossible, even if you ask your family to leave space for you for some time, know that this has nothing to do with selfishness, but rather it is a very healthy behavior.
Repressing and giving up on your personal desires for activities that do not involve your children does not make you an impressive and self-sacrificing parent, but rather makes you more tired and resentful.
This applies to other areas of your life as well.
When you get enough sleep at night, won't you feel better about everything?
The recovery phase that we find in hobbies and rejuvenation makes us better partners and, of course, better friends.
We discover that we have the ability to listen well, and the energy to collaborate with others.
Doing the activities we love simply helps us free our souls that have been stifled by the obsession with productivity and commitments.
Remember here again that the hobby itself is not as important as its effect on us.
It's just a way to take you a little further from the "always good at a lot of work" aura.
Our needs for some comfort and peace remain the basic building blocks of our humanity, and the lasting difference between us and robots.
So, we have to understand our inclinations towards joy, inexpressible feelings, or unimpressive things.
Our feelings cannot be generated by a machine, or improved with the aim of exploiting them to achieve productivity.
It deserves to be rediscovered, not only because it will finally give us the true relief we seek, but because it will bring us back to our basic essence again.
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Translation: Somaya Zaher.
This article was translated from The Atlantic and does not necessarily represent the Meydan website.